Forgotten Words
by banryuu
Summary: *Finished* Continuation. Time is a fluid concept that no man can control. Past, present, and future are all part of your journey through life. Van King of Fanelia wants only two things he lacks. To know his lost family, and the return of Hitomi the girl that he let go. Life is full of consciences it's how you handle the hurdles that really matters. Read and Review.
1. Fate

Alright so if you are reading this I should let you know that this is my 5th Escaflowne story and is not supposed to be posted until Lost and Found is completed. I have just posted Chapter 8 of Lost and Found and was thinking I could only keep Last Person On Earth going for so much longer. I found myself thinking one night… what would I do when I was done… and suddenly the plot to this new story was born.

If you are familiar with any of my stories especially the ones running at the same time… I thank you. I would like to explain a few things in detail before we start. Like Lost and Found Varie Fanel is in it, but this time she is not alive… Van is reading her story through writing. This will also be in first person perspective but switching from Van to Varie in the form of diary entries.

Also there is a time difference from Gaia to earth. It is a 3times difference instead of the two of my previous story. It makes it so four months on earth is one year on Gaia. The easiest way to think about it is if you split the twelve months into four quarters of three months each; one quarter equals one month on earth. (If you want to break it all the way down 8 hours on earth is one day on Gaia, and one day one earth equals three.) So Hitiomi has only been home for six months but it has been a year and a half for Van. I am going on the assumption that Hitomi was on Gaia for Three months starting in August and ending in October so this story starts on Van's seventeenth Birthday in April.

**One last note:**

_If the writing is in Italics it has happened to Van in the past_

If the writing is Normal it Van's point of view present day. If it is Normal with **Bold **words someone is **yelling.**

**_If the writing is Bold and Italics it is in Varie's handwriting and point of view._**

**Forgotten Words**

**Chapter 1- Fate**

**White 12th Moon,**

Happy Birthday to me. I can't help thinking this to myself as I wake up this morning. This will be my second birthday in the rebuilt castle, although a year ago most of the work had yet to be completed. It has been only a year and a half since the end of the War and more importantly since I sent Hitomi home. I know that we promised to always be together but it would have been selfish to keep her here. I love her, as hard as it was for me to admit in those troubling days of the war.

I could feel that she was doing well for a while but the connections between us have gotten harder and less frequent, almost as if she is shutting me out. It is painful to think that just maybe her memories of me are too tangled with the death and darkness that shadowed her time here on Gaia. Would Hitomi shut me out along with her memories of the War?

Though the thought comes to me often I know that it is not true. It took her long enough to sort her feelings of admiration out from those of a deeper love. All the times when it was just us against the world, our connection was strong enough to save the world, but can it span the distance?

The turning point for us would have to be that horrible night in the rain. I put my foot firmly into my mouth to cover up my embarrassment of trying to tell Hitomi how I felt about her. Naturally her response was that she smacked me and then ran away. Not that I can blame her, but it still hurt. What came later twisted the knife in deeper.

How could she return my feelings when there was suave debonair Allen to run to? I found out later that Zaibach feared the growing strength of our bond and tampered with Allen's emotions to force them to kiss, and drive me away. As much as I hated seeing that, it made me realize several things; that I loved this strange stubborn girl, that even if she didn't return my feelings I would do everything in my power to protect her, and finally as long as she is happy then I can have some measure of happiness.

Those thoughts have only gotten stronger over time. When Hitomi left to go back to her world the first time I couldn't understand the hole it left in my very being. Since the first moment she ran into me there was always Hitomi, and then she was suddenly gone. We talked about it later and though she was on her home world for less then two days an entire week had passed for me. A week where I had to come to terms with not only my feelings, but that fact that things would never be simple between us. Then again I guess my life was never meant to be 'simple'.

Even though I am a King I still fought and built with my own hands. I have done everything in my power to rebuild Fanelia since the end of the War. I find returning things to how they should be helps if I re-instill old traditions into our new life. Twice a year I go clean the graveyard where my family rests. I found myself doing it for the first time right after I removed Escaflowne's energist and sent Hitomi home with it. Today, due to it being my birthday, is the other day when I visit Folken and Father, the men who were or should have been king in my place.

Merle is all the family I have left and she bluntly refuses to help me in the cemetery as it is too gloomy and we have had enough sadness. I don't see it that way at all. It is one of the few times where I am not the young 'King of Fanelia', the 'Pilot of Escaflowne', or even 'The Draconian King'. That last one has brought both good and bad things my way. It is peaceful here in the shade of the sleeping dragon with just the sound of wind rustling the leaves to keep me company.

Later tonight there will be a celebration for my birthday, but right now I heft the bucket of water and brushes down the short trail leading from the back of the palace and into the small royal cemetery. First I brush the lose dirt and dead leaves away. Calm times like this allow my mind to wander to memories where no one requires anything from me. I never want to forget Folken's carefree smile of my childhood or the times he would read to me at bedtime. I remember very little of my father other then his funeral and I don't ever want the memories of Folken to become lost as well.

Once I start scrubbing my mind wanders to other things that bring a small smile to my face. Hitomi Kanzaki, the stubborn, opinionated, caring, track running fortuneteller from another world. No matter how much her visions scared her, she would do anything to protect people and often ran head first into danger to save my skinny ass.

People often think that she went home right after the War ended, but they would be wrong and I would rather not correct them. It took time to get Folken properly buried and to let the people of Fanelia know of the rebuilding plans. Hitomi was there for me through everything. We explored the ruins together without fear. The dragons left on their own; retreating back into the wilds. Together, Hitomi and I found the least damaged places and figured out were the rebuilding efforts should start. I wanted the town to take precedence over the palace and we found a few rooms still mostly intact after the fire where Merle and I could comfortably live until there was time and resources to focus on a project that big.

_I had chosen the room with a few missing pieces of roof where I could look up at the two moons at night. The night before I sent Hitomi home, there was a knock on my door pretty late; as I was still awake and dressed I opened the door to find Hitomi smiling at me._

"_I knew you'd still be awake. Can I come in?" She absently brushed hair away from her luminous green eyes. _

"_Sure." I nodded stepping aside to let her in. I admit that her coming to my room alone late at night was not appropriate, but due to what we have gone through together normal rules of propriety don't seem to apply. _

_She walked right over to my refurbished bed and sat down without a nervous thought. "Van, do you really think it is okay for me to stay here forever?" Hitomi's habit for being direct and to the point still had an impact on me._

_Sighing, I sat down next to her on the mattress our hands brushing briefly before I changed positions to sit with my legs crossed. "You are welcomed to stay for as long as you want." I shrugged, trying to play it calmly._

_Her bright eyes flashed at me and I knew I was in for it now. "That's not what I meant and you know it! The War is over and things are peaceful now. You don't really need me here anymore." Hitomi held her hand up silencing the argument I was preparing. "Let me finish. Van, Do you want me to stay?"_

_Even though we had proven our feeling for each other, what she wanted right now was verbal conformation of what she already knew. "I don't need you to be anything but what you are Hitomi." I took her hand in mine and was surprised at how slim and soft it was as I twined our fingers together. "There will always be a place for you in Fanelia, with me. I love you Hitomi."_

_She removed her hand from mine and for a moment I was hurt by the rejection. Suddenly she threw both her arms around my neck and leaned in pressing her soft lips against my startled ones. Pulling away slightly I could still feel her moist warm breath on my lips as she whispered. "I love you too, Van."_

_I couldn't help cupping her soft cheek in the palm of my hand, mesmerized by this amazing girl in front of me. "How did I ever become so fortunate to deserve you?" I couldn't help asking before capturing her lips once more. We kissed hungrily between whispered promises for quite some time. Hitomi broke the kiss by removing the thin fabric of her blouse, startling me from our haze. Her pale soft flesh glowed in the moonlight. It took all my willpower to scoot away from her. "We need to stop." _

_I hated myself for saying anything, but we were just desperate for each other because we both knew our time together was coming to a close. Her cheeks shown flushed attractively and her lips were swollen from kissing. "This is our last night together. I don't want to regret not showing you how much I care, Van."_

"_You don't have to leave." We both knew it was a lie and she shook her head sadly._

"_I have to return to my world, my time here is up." Her fingers stilled the argument on my lips once more. "I will come back to you I swear, but my life there has just been on hold. I have to say good bye properly before I can promise you forever."_

_I couldn't hold myself back any longer grabbing both her shoulders and crushing her slim body against my chest. "Promise me you will come back." I demanded breathing in the sweet sent of her hair. _

_She clutched the fabric of my shirt climbing the rest of the way into my lap. "I promise, as long as we don't talk about me leaving anymore."_

"_It is a deal." I sighed kissing her forehead softly. "I don't want this night to end."_

_She bit her lip in a mischievous way that made all other thoughts leave my mind instantly. "Then lets make every moment count."_

_When morning dawned, both of us knew the spell was broken, and though we spoke only of her staying; we said our good byes in the silent way we held each other. _

Coming back out of the memory I noticed something odd. One of the stones at the base of Father's memorial moved underneath the scrubbing motion of my brush. I set down the brush, curious to inspect the damaged marble brick. With a slight grinding sound the heavy stone moved easily, as if the mortar had already been carved away. Setting it aside, there was a hole about a foot wide and almost as deep.

Hoping the structure wasn't badly damaged and father's grave hadn't been defiled; I reached into the darkness not knowing what I'd find. At first I encountered nothing but dirt and cold stone. Then I felt something out of place, something soft like fabric but still solid. I pulled my hand out of the crevice holding onto what appeared to be a square bundle wrapped in dirty cloth.

I sat down on the ground turning the object in my hands debating the best method of action. Untying the fabric I found three items inside. The first was a small wooden toy carved in the shape of a dragon that I suddenly recognized as mine. The second was a long white feather brittle with age, but still somehow bright in color. Lastly a worn dark leather bound book with no title or cover art.

Setting the three objects down I plunged the dirty cloth into my cleaning water hoping I was wrong but needing more proof. I scrubbed at the fabric until the water was murky. Pulling it out I wrung the water from the faded pink striped portion of my mother's favorite long sash.

If the toy was mine, and the cloth was her's, the feather must have been Folken's. Why would she leave this odd package hidden in the graveyard? The only way to find any answers would be to read the book but I have a feeling I already know exactly what is inside its pages.

Carefully I opened the worn cover to find the first entry is almost 32 years old. Written in sweeping elegant scrip the faded lettering is still clear and easy to read.

**_Red 16th Moon,_**

**_Today is my 18th birthday and this is my most treasured gift. A new journal; given to me by my mother who I will greatly miss. My life from this day forward will never be the same, so it is here that I will record my new life and not my old. I should start by introducing myself._**

**_My name is Varie Koraki and I am Draconian. I live in a small village of just my people hidden in the mists of the Mystic Valley. Koraki means Raven in the old tongue and we all have surnames of types of birds. We are a people of ancient race and traditions. The few that leave our settlement are never allowed to return until our last breath merges us with our ancestors once more. _**

**_Everyone interprets things differently and I find that being a direct descendent of the people of Atlantis to be a blessing and a curse. The weight of the past is a heavy thing. Mistakes made before this world; our world of Gaia was born haunt us thousands of years later._**

**_When I was born, the seers were overcome with a great vision of war and destruction but , also of hope. An immense dark power would revive the power of Atlantis and consume the world. A sad future, but from sadness grows great love. My son will be the one to save the world. _**

**_That is a heavy thing to tell a child. To grow up knowing that darkness is coming. On my fifteenth birthday, my parents told me the rest of the prophesy. The man I was destined to marry is not only 12 years my elder but also a King in his own right. What does a King want with someone considered cursed just because of their race? Let alone the fortuneteller's actual readings on my life. Goau of Fanelia; I have crafted many stories in my head about him. Of what he will be like… of what our life together would be like. _**

**_People tell me I am beautiful, but I have never looked at myself in such a manner and the boys of our village tease me for being prophesied to be too good for them. For you who might never meet me I would like to tell you everything. Not just of my long silken hair or my larger than average wingspan and pure white feathers. Also of what my fears and faults are. _**

**_I fear this King could not ever truly love me. I have heard of stories where the wife is just a trophy to be seen and not heard. Though I know how to hold my tongue, I do not always do so easily. I have been trained from a young age to have impeccable manners, but I feel emotions strongly and have to do my best to hide them from others._**

**_Today I leave the only home I have ever known to meet a man that will be my husband. You could say it is an arranged marriage with the exception that he knows nothing of it or me._**

**_Red 18th Moon,_**

**_I set out on foot alone two days ago. I am to travel to a lake where you can see the Mystic Moon hang heavy over the western mountains. I am to keep my wings hidden until the time is right… whatever that means. A lone woman walking the forest paths is a dangerous thing, but I keep away from the main roads and travel mainly at night. It is not just animals I need to fear since 'man' is the most unpredictable predator. _**

**_I did not bring many belongings with me as I have been told I will not need them. Food, water, a warm blanket, and a beautiful white dress aside from my dark travel clothes. No one could come with me, as they would not be able to return home. I do not have a pack animal or yorkle to ride, as the quickest path for me would be hard on an animal and they would require greater rest._**

**_Red 23rd Moon, _**

**_The lake has come into view and I am glad for it. From the position of the two moons he should be here in only a few short days. I am dirty and tired, but relieved to have made it this far already. If I had to choose one of my strengths it would be perseverance. During the journey, I have worn rough men's clothing and kept my hair in a thick plat tucked down the back of my tunic. It is hot and uncomfortable, but I have come across a few other pilgrims and they haven't given me the slightest notice. _**

**_Tonight, I checked for a good spot along the lake edge hidden by the trees. Not risking being seen in the nude I waded into the water still in my undershirt. The water was cold but I feel like myself once more. Untangling my hair I let it dry loose and straight by the small fire I allow myself. _**

**_Red 25th Moon,_**

**_He is here! I heard a war party enter the woods in the early afternoon to set up camp. I have chosen a good spot after all, as I can hear them, but they do not know of my presence. No fire for me tonight. I do not know when they are to leave and the moons are to be huge in the sky tonight. I will dress in my clean white gown and appear to him tonight._**

**_Thanks to the spring floods the lake is high and the shore edges right up to the tree line. What would be the bank of the lake is underwater so as I can stand in the water up to my knees and not fear going to deep. _**

**_I am both terrified and excited. I just need to relax and breath, but I fear I will climb right out of my skin from nervousness. Now the trick will be to attract only the attention of the one I need and not the whole war party. Whatever am I to do?_**

**_Red 26th Moon,_**

**_Thank the gods! For though the prophesy was considered a curse by some, it has become a blessing to me. If not for those seers, I would never have met Goau. He is more then I could have ever hoped for even in my childish fantasies. He is thirty moons but the age difference doesn't matter to me as I thought it would. _**

**_Last night, I could hear the celebration from his party. A good sign of victory and hopefully a vision of my success as well. _**

**_The glow from the Mystic Moon was bright and clear, bathing the world in mystery. Fireflies danced along the water's edge and the breeze was the smallest stirring. The warm firelight danced to one side. Walking out to the lake, the long skirts flowed behind me though the calm waters. Two of the men stood together talking but I couldn't hear their words. I hoped I was right and that one of them was him._**

**_Breathing deeply, I began to sing not knowing how long it would take for him to notice me. From the corner of my eye I could see the two men approaching the water's edge. I had never seen the man I am destined for until that point. He stood closer to me while the other man seemed more hesitant and on guard. The second man called him 'my lord' verifying for me that I had the right man's attention._**

"**_Look at that." The first man said to his friend._**

**_Taking a deep breath I threw my arms out in front while releasing my wings for the first time in weeks. Feathers floated down around me glowing in the moonlight. The second man tried to push him back. _**

**_The man with one eye spoke first, "A Draconian! A descendent of Atlantis. The demons of legend. You're in danger Lord, stand back!" He made to draw his sword in the moonlight._**

**_I had to pray that I was right that the man I was meant for wouldn't let any harm come to me. I was correct, as his hand came forward stilling the warrior._**

"**_Don't Balgas. She is no demon; She is beautiful. I would gladly let such a demon steal my very soul."_**

"**_My Lord?"_**

**_I turned towards him with my arms out and my wings framing the moons. He waded out into the water towards me without fear. I did my best not to become shy or look away as he arrived in front of me,stopping a safe distance away. I knew I had to tell him the truth and let him accept me as I am._**

"**_Goau of Fanelia." I spoke with a confidence I didn't feel._**

"**_That's right." He said in shock. "But how is it you know my name?"_**

"**_When I was born it was prophesied that the man to whom I was destined would come tonight. When the mystic moon hangs above the western mountains."_**

**_There was a pause in which I could study his face openly before he spoke again. "You mean me?"_**

**_I couldn't help but smile. "That's right. Our meeting was fated, you see."_**

**_His face softened. "I am beginning to see. What is your name?"_**

"**_Varie." He held a large gloved hand out to me in a very gentlemanly way. I gladly accepted it, feeling warm all over. _**

"**_Varie, will you come with me?" He asked in a low soothing voice, which I was very quickly coming to love._**

"**_Yes Lord Goau."_**

**_We stood together in the moonlight for some time. He was kind and thoughtful. I know now that I can have some measure of happiness by his side._**

I shut the cover of the old diary with a sigh. These words, long forgotten, show me a side of my parents I never had the chance to know. What is destiny? Who decides a person's fate? Does a person's will count for anything? Or is it because of her will to except and fight for the chance of hope that the prophecy came true after all? Does my mother have any idea how sad and lonely this life will turn out to be?

Another thing has been bothering me since I began reading, What she had written about the prophecy here gives no indication that Folken wasn't the intended target. It just says 'her son'. What determined that it would be me? If I had died to the dragon the day I met Hitomi; would Folken have been the one to end the war and not me? Would he still be alive? Or was Hitomi's intervention part of the plan after all?

I have seen enough visions come true despite all the odds to doubt the truth behind them. Was Hitomi part of the plan after all? Should I be like my mother and trust that things will work out for the best despite the sacrifices? If I had been selfish and kept Hitomi here would she resent me? Have I waited long enough to be happy?

Can I take my mother as an example of what to do or what not to do? I will keep her written words in the hope that this is my chance to know my parents better than I could have when I lost them as a child. Furthermore, some of the events in these pages may help me prove the path that is best for me.

Already, I feel a calm sense of confidence that I have waited long enough to be happy. I will put my heart on the line and go find Hitomi myself. I won't force her to come back but I will tell her once and for all that I need her by my side. Not as a seer, but as a partner. Forever a team, to defy all odds.

We never talked about these things. What our future would be like. How long I should wait for her. I have left many things unsaid, hoping she could know how I feel about her without the embarrassment of words I don't know how to express clearly. The times I tried to hide my embarrassment with bravado always ended with Hitomi slapping me…. Hard.

With a new sense of purpose, I replaced the missing brick covering up the hiding spot once more, but take the contents with me back to the castle. Returning the cleaning supplies, I always borrow I come face to face with my bouncing cat-sister.

"Lord Van! Happy Birthday!" She throws herself into my arms in the enthusiastic hug of someone that doesn't see me every day.

"Good morning to you too Merle." I pat her between her perky ears before extracting myself from her strong grip.

"Are you excited for the party tonight?" She prances beside me as I walk towards my rooms to put the diary and other items in a safe place, as well as change into clean clothes.

I sigh, knowing my decision will not go over well. "I won't be attending."

"Why **NOT**!" She stamps her foot clearly not happy about the news. "You can't skip **your own birthday party**!"

"I'm sorry Merle, but I think its time I went to get Hitomi. I don't know how long it will take." I reach the door to my room but she darts in front of me blocking the way.

"Hitomi will come back when she is ready." Her striped tail is puffed out and her blue eyes are fierce. "You can't leave Fanelia to go to her strange world for gods know how long. What if you can't come back?"

"I will come back Merle, but this is something I have to do." I move her aside as gently as I can and enter the room knowing that she will just follow me in to continue the argument. I place the toy, feather, and fabric in my desk drawer but hesitate to put the book away. "Believe in me Merle, it may just help me come home faster."

Her features soften before running up and giving me another hug. "I'll always believe in you Lord Van. Bring Hitomi back for good this time." With a mischievous smirk she danced away adding. "I have so much to yell at her about."

"I'll warn her." I nodded, shooing her out the door. I was quite lucky that she didn't take notice of the odd items in my possession. As much as I love Merle, her affection can be tiring as are her questions. Changing into a clean outfit, I pause before strapping my sword to my side. Hitomi told me that it is not common for people to be armed openly in public. The last thing I need is to draw unwanted attention, but there is also reason to not want to be in a strange place unarmed entirely. I tuck a dagger in my boot and the diary under my shirt.

I also decide against telling my advisors before I depart. Merle knows to tell them where I am if I'm not back in three days' time. Not that a huge pillar of light appearing isn't a dead giveaway. I leave my room and walk down the hall making my way back to the graveyard. Some places seem to have stronger connections to the mystic moon then others, and since this was the last place used for transportation it gives me the best chance to arrive near Hitomi.

I close my eyes, breathing deeply while picturing the green eyed girl in my mind. Clutching the warm stone of Hitomi's pink pendent, I wish to be where she is with everything I have. A strong wind stirs around me and suddenly I feel weightless, as my feet lift off from the ground. With each heartbeat the wind pulls me faster as if I'm being sucked down a long tunnel. The thrumming in my ears starts to slow down as my boots touch down on solid ground once more.

Blinking, the blue-white light disappears as fast as it came; leaving me standing alone in the darkening twilight. I am exactly were I first met Hitomi Kanzaki as she ran directly into me. This time there are no witnesses to my arrival. The red paved track feels odd yet familiar under my feet. I know from what she has told me in the past that this is the place Hitomi attends lessons, and that she doesn't live far from here.

I close my eyes picturing the pendent just as I was taught. It swings to the right and I at least know the direction to start. Each time I reached a crossroad or unfamiliar turn I would pause and deduct the correct path. Finally, I reach a residential area and find I don't need to focus anymore as I am being drawn to one building in particular. There is a nameplate with unusual markings that I can only guess is the written language of this country.

I always found it intresting that Hitomi could understand our spoken words easily, but the writing of my country didn't seem to translate the same way. It must be the same here for me now. I run my fingers over the characters and it's meaning comes to me like the swinging of the pendent. Kanzaki.

I am here standing in front of her home. Why does it feel like I am still miles away? What should I say? A simple greeting seems odd, but blurting out that I love her and want her to come home… well that won't do either. What if her parents open the door? "Hello Sir or Madam I don't look like it but I'm a king and I want to take your daughter back to my world… forever." Maybe this was a bad idea.

I stand frozen, staring at the solid door afraid of it in ways I never was even when facing armies of enemies. Yes, this was definitely a bad idea. She promised to come back when the time was right. What if she isn't ready yet? I should just leave and wait for her, right?

Just when I decide to turn and leave I hear the sound of the door opening and freeze. "Van? Is that you?" The voice I had longed to hear asked from directly behind me.

"How did you know I was here?" I couldn't help asking, even though I was too relieved to move.

Her voice softened. "I could feel you through our connection." That alone made my heart pound faster. She hadn't cut our bond. Hitomi's voice took on a hard edge again. "What are you doing here Van? You shouldn't be here."

I spin around surprised by her harsh words. "I came for you Hitomi. I couldn't wait to be with you anymore." Looking at her for the first time in a year and a half I drank in the sight of her even if she didn't seem to be as happy to see me, as I am to see her. Her honey brown hair was a touch longer than before, just barely framing her face. Beautiful bright green eyes searched my face as if looking for answers. I had grown taller in our time apart but she still remains lanky and athletic with one major change.

The front of her shirt was stretched tightly over a solid rounded stomach. Hitomi, my Hitomi is with child? When had this happened? How… how could this be? I grasped for a coherent thought; searching my memory for the time difference. Something like a third my time has passed. Six months? Could it be? True to my past mistakes I did the only thing that came easy. Open mouth insert foot. "Is that mine?"

That is the third time Hitomi has slapped me with all her strength.

**To Be Continued…**

***P.S- Edited I was trying to math out the ages and realized I said Goau was 22years older the Varie. It was an error. As Varie has no recorded age I made her 18, and records state Goau was 30 when they met hence the correct age difference of 12 years.**

As there will be diary entries in each chapter I will use the Gaian Calendar… unfortunately only half the months I could find the translation for the ones with at * are ones I've guessed or full out made up. The ones with birthdays are actual from the series. (With the exception of Millerna who it said was born in April like Van but his month is White Moon so I made her birthday a month earlier since it made more since then trying to have two colors per month.)

January- Gold*

February- Purple (Folken was 25 at death, Birthday 17th Moon)

March- Green*, (Millerna's Birthday 24th Moon)

April- White (Van's Birthday 12th Moon)

May- Yellow (Dryden Birthday 25th Moon)

June- Orange, (Merle's Birthday30th Moon )

July- Red*

August- Pink

September- Brown*

October- Black*

November- Blue, (Allen's Birthday 3rd Moon)

December- Silver* (Hitomi's Bithday 9th Moon)

This is the timeline of when people were born or major events happen as compared to the end of the war. For this story since it takes place a year and a half after the War ends one or two years will be added on according to what time of year the event happens. For example Van is 17 but Merle who was born two years after him is only 14 (as her 15th birthday is three months away). In the story itself I'll say how many years ago it was to try and keep you from getting too confused.

60 years ago Goau Fanel born.

30 years ago Goau Fanel and Varie meet.

25 years ago Purple, 17th Moon Folken Lacour de Fanel born.

15 years ago White, 12th Moon Van Slanzar de Fanel born. December 9 Hitomi Kanzaki born.

13 years ago Orange, 30th Moon Merle born.

12 years ago Goau Fanel passs away. (48 Earth years at death)

10 years ago Folken Lacour de Fanel disappears during dragon-slaying ritual. Varie Fanel disappears looking for Folken Lacour de Fanel.


	2. Destiny

Hello again! I haven't put this story on the back burner just having a bit of trouble not letting Hitomi fall into the 'put down woman role' that is so easy in pregnancy stories. It's easy because it's logical that her family wouldn't approve and the advisors would be against her. Remember Hitomi is younger in this than most other stories along the same lines. It has only been six months since she left Gaia, but I will try not to make this an episode of 'Sixteen and Pregnant' either…. Well not entirely.

I am working beyond full time and keeping up with my AU story Last Person On Earth, so please bear with me if I update slow for your liking. I did finish Lost and Found so that is one less thing to worry about. I will try to put out a new chapter every month at the least. Also think about my poor abused Beta reader… thanks to her tireless work the chapters are much easier to read and better quality. It may take a few more days to upload a chapter since I have to send it to Canada first. (Love you!)

_**Disclaimer- I don't own Escaflowne. If I did you'd have seen a sequel or reboot a long time ago.**_

**Forgotten Words**

**Chapter 2- Destiny**

The impact of Hitomi's hand making solid contact with the left side of my face snapped my head to the side so fast my neck ached. The hit itself hurt less than her complete rejection. I raise my hand to the stinging cheek, which is surely red, and not only from my embarrassment. It is true this result was a possible outcome from our actions, but somehow I thought she would tell me something as important as us having a child.

No one would ever claim that reckless action is new to me. Hitomi will have my child in about three months time, and yet she wants nothing to do with me. Though if she wants to place blame, technically I was the one seduced.

"Go home Van." She states defiantly with hands propped on her wider hips and feet planted.

Even though my pride is severely wounded getting angry at her will not accomplish anything. "Don't you think I at least have a right to know?"

Letting my hand drop away from my face I meet her eyes directly. I can see her determination falter slightly as she softens. "It's not like I planned this." She wraps one arm protectively over her rounded stomach. "I knew if I told you… I would have to go back before I was ready."

"Ready? At a time like this why wouldn't you want to come back?"

"Getting pregnant doesn't automatically make someone prepared to be a parent." She shakes her head. "There is another reason I didn't want to return yet."

Before I can ask what that reason is, a male's voice from the open door behind her calls out. "Hitomi? Who is it?"

With a worried glance over her shoulder she focuses on me with a new determination. "You need to go, but we do have to talk. Meet me at the shrine where you killed the dragon in an hour." Turning away from me she begins to shut the door without waiting for my response. There was no doubt I would be at the shrine waiting for her, but something more was going on here.

As I turn away my senses tell me that I am not alone. An off noise or the prickling of the fine hair on the back of my neck, frequently notify me if something is off. It doesn't take much. I spin back around to see a man I've never seen before studying me from the door. Hitomi stands right behind him with a concerned look on her face. I could not have placed this man in a crowd, but standing so close I can see the similarities not only in features but also in stance.

"Who are you?" Hitomi's father asks me directly.

"Dad, he is just a friend from school." Her lie fools no one. She tried to motion me to leave, but is far from discreet. "He was just going home."

"What do you want with my daughter?" Though not tall, the man carries himself with a confidence normally reserved for much larger and tougher men. I respect that.

"I am the father." I state openly, despite Hitomi's groan. Like usual, I open my mouth and say the opposite of what she wants me to. "I love Hitomi and have a right to know that she is pregnant with my child."

"You have no rights." He scoffs, taking a step towards me. If I were a normal teenage boy, I might feel fear at this point, but unfortunately for him very little about me is 'normal'. "What do you know of love? You are both still **children**."

It wouldn't be the first or last time I've been underestimated because of my age or size. I doubt anything I want to say at this point would be constructive, but there isn't a need as he continues when I don't speak.

"My fifteen year old daughter disappears for a month and comes back ruined. Her head filled with crazy stories about a world in the sky. A planet with dragons, beams of light, winged people and wars fought in giant robots." He is getting angry but then so am I. "The only logical excuse is** drugs!** So get away from** my house** and stay away from my **family!**"

He has advanced on me and now a diplomatic solution is the farthest thing from my mind. I want more than anything for this man to try and hurt me. I say 'try' since I have already envisioned the ways I can quickly put him down. But, I won't… this is Hitomi's father and he though misguided, he is trying to protect her. The phrase that has pissed me off the most is him calling her 'ruined'. Whether he means physically for her condition or mentally for believing something he cannot understand, both make my blood boil.

"How dare you." I glare at him from behind the shadow of my wild hair, knowing my look might have sent the message of my intentions. He staggers back a step as if he has seen something truly frightening. "Hitomi is the most honest, stubborn, compassionate, and amazing person I have ever met. Say what you want about me, but I will not have you doubt Hitomi."

I hear her quick footsteps seconds before I feel her grab onto my arm. "Van, stop. It's alright." I didn't even realize that my arm was tensed back prepared to swing at this man.

I start to take a deep breath to calm down, but all I need to do is look into her selfless eyes. I pull her into my arms, into the embrace that I wanted to start this all off with. "I'm okay now Hitomi." Breathing in her sweet sent I couldn't help but smile as she relaxes into my arms. "I've missed you."

Her slender hands came up and grip tightly onto the back of my shirt, pulling me closer just like when we said goodbye. The main difference is that this hug is the beginning of our journey and not the end. "I've missed you too Van."

I am so lost in the moment I forget all about Hitomi's father glaring at me until a new voice addresses our odd little group. "Will you three come inside before someone calls the police?" Hitomi brakes our hug only to start pulling me towards the woman standing in the doorway. Her mother smiles at me and adds "Again." with a pointed look at her husband.

"Again?" I asked, letting Hitomi direct me to the woman with the tightly pulled back brown hair and the laugh lines around her eyes.

"Yeah, Dad threw my friend Amano out of the house thinking he was my boyfriend." Despite her smile, Hitomi still looked worried. So her family wasn't her only concern it seems.

Trying to recall where I've heard that name before it took a moment to click. "Amano? The one that looks like Allen?"

"That's the one." She nodded, letting her father go into the house first.

"He wouldn't stand a chance." I snort letting her push me playfully. It feels really good to have my Hitomi back, even if there is a very distinct change growing under her skin.

"Mom this is Van Fanel, my boyfriend." She blushes, introducing me. From her body language it's not hard to tell that it is her mother she is closer to. The older woman looks at me only with kindness and understanding, maybe she believes the wild tales of a teenage adventure.

I bow slightly to the woman. "Oh, no formalities please." She laughs, pulling me into an awkward hug.

When she releases me, I can't help but whisper to Hitomi. "I see where you get your compassion." Chancing a glance at the man now pacing the front room I add. "Also where you've inherited your temper from."

She laughs, a light and wonderful sound. "Oh yes, temper, something our child will get from both sides."

A surge goes through me like an electric charge. She said 'our child'. Pride and joy fill me, along with a good amount of fear. Her father is right about one thing; we are far too young to be parents. It's not like I've had good experiences with my own family. My father died when I was three and two years later my mother disappeared looking for Folken. If anything I was raised by Balgus and what would the one eyed samurai say if he could see the position I'm in right now? Can't say he'd be proud. He'd call me reckless in the very least, even a disgrace. Lecture me about how I was supposed to **'protect'** Hitomi and get her home… not** 'ruin'** her and pull her back away from her family.

Was I wrong in this? Was it selfish to make her mine? That last night that we spend together we wished to prove ourselves with actions not words. Our actions had major consequences and may have forced Hitomi down a path she was not ready to take. Have I ruined her life by prematurely creating a new one?

Lost in dark thoughts, I didn't even realize I was being addressed until Hitomi elbowed me in the ribs. I looked at her surprised as she motiones for me to sit.

"So, Van." Hitomi's mother sits down across from me with a patient smile. "Where are you from?"

"A small country called Fanelia." Not only did I not expect to be meeting her parents for a question and answer session, but also I am completely lost on how much I should tell them. I can only assume that stories of **'giant robots'** refers to our Guymelifs, so they know something of the war. Though it seems it doesn't matter what I say, as Hitomi's father snorts and mumbles "Not a real place."

The woman shoots him a withering look before smiling at me again. "How did you first meet Hitomi?" She asks with open curiosity and I can tell her husband is even paying attention now. No doubt to find some fault in my character, or more proof that both Hitomi and I just have wild imaginations.

"She ran into me." I cast a sideways glance at Hitomi, not sure if I should launch into the full story about the hectic dragon slaying rite or just give small details. "Literally."

"It's not like you didn't just come out of nowhere." She played along, so the revised version it is.

"So of course that merits being slapped across the face and yelled at." I tease, despite the light playful tones something deeper is going on here. The tension is almost tangible.

"You skipped the whole part where I helped you out and you were a condescending jerk." Though she says it in a playful, almost loving way, I don't know how much of the act they really believe. Even leaving out all the details about dragon slaying, fire dodging, and near death moments; our 'how we met story' is difficult to make 'normal'.

"What no levitating ships and cat people?" Hitomi's father is really starting to get on my nerves. Couldn't she just let me hit him once? "Traveling the world with a rag tag group of princesses and knights."

Okay, I've had enough. People are well entitled to believe what they want but mocking is pushing things too far. "You forgot that I'm a King." I add honestly challenging the older man.

"I'll believe you when you can show me proof." All this attitude and condescension may just be a front for his worry over what has happened to Hitomi, but I am going to relish making this man eat his words.

Meeting his gaze directly I know the challenge has been set. "I have your word that if I can give you at least one example of completely undeniable proof then you will no longer think Hitomi is telling made up stories?."

"Solid proof and you have a deal." He nods to me, ignoring his wife's tsk of disapproval.

"Van, whatever you're thinking… don't." Hitomi warns, but it is too late. I'm all in. I stand back up taking a few steps into the center of the room. The ceiling isn't very high and the area could be bigger, but it will have to be enough. Grabbing the edge of my shirt I quickly slip it up and over my head, dropping it on my abandoned seat. The air in the room suddenly turned chill but it may also be from the three people staring directly at me.

The temperature of the room won't matter for long as I close my eyes, finding the heat I always carry deep down like a hidden flame. Calling it is like fanning a spark that grows quickly into an inferno. The burning is so intense it suddenly has to find a way out splitting the flesh on my back. The torn skin has no chance to bleed as my wings burst out filling the room with floating feathers. Having no room to stretch out, the tips press into the ceiling, as if searching for the sky.

The tension eases and I stand confidently with the added weight on my back. I don't really need to see their reaction, but I can't help glancing over. Hitomi's mother has the same look her daughter wore the first time she saw my wings, awe. Not being surprised by much anymore Hitomi is used to my draconian mark, but still smiles despite how mad she gets at me, the wings are beautiful to her. The reaction that makes this worthwhile is that the patriarch of this family looks like he is about to pass out.

Shock and fear play across his face, somehow it's the tough ones that have the hardest time excepting what they can't understand. "Is this enough proof for you?" I ask, though it might have a tinge of gloating.

"H-How? What are you?" He croaks out, as his wide eyes are trained on the white feathers.

"My mother was a Draconian; a decedent of the people of Atlantis." I don't really want to explain too many details, as it feels like betraying the promise I made as a child. When mother told me to never show my wings until the time is right. I kept them and the truth to myself for ten years. Hitomi was what changed everything for me. The least I can do is prove her stories have merit and that I am willing to make risks for her.

It seems my loyalty has shifted to Hitomi and not the memory of my family, and it has been that way for a while.

"Will your child also have wings?" Hitomi's mother asks, more out of curiosity than concern. Her husband's face gets paler if anything.

Hitomi and I lock gazes sharing a silent moment before I answer. "I believe so. It is genetic, but not common, so I don't know for sure."

"I believe you." Hitomi's father flinches away from a feather as it passes by his face. "Now, can you get rid of them?"

Having pity on the man I mentally pull in on the source. Unlike releasing the wings which creates an almost burning warmth, getting rid of them comes with a biting chill like a northern wind only I can feel. The feathers quickly begin to disappear and scatter, leaving me standing shirtless in front of the group.

Without saying anything my shirt is handed to me. Not that I've ever been shy, but something about being half naked around her parents makes me slightly uneasy. Grateful, I pull the fabric back over my head and sit down next to Hitomi again. This time, she leans into my side slightly as if saying thank you without words.

"Though I will need time to accept this, I will stand by my word. If my daughter was truly sent to another world it doesn't change the fact that you were both stupid." Regaining some of his fire the man tries to stare me down. "Nothing changes the fact that my teenage daughter should not be a mother."

"I accept that." I nod, understanding that this is a position no one wants to see their child in.

Hitomi spoke up for the first time. "Neither of us planned for this to happen, but we also thought we might be saying goodbye forever."

Feeling hope well up that we may be all right after all, I take her hand in mine. "We have been through a lot together." I might be over stepping, but maybe I have to put myself out there with confidence. "This is a new start. The chance for us to do this right. I promise to take care of Hitomi and would like to do so with her as my wife."

Hitomi stiffens next to me, either knowing that this declaration won't go over well, or that maybe she doesn't want it to. After all, though it has only been six months for her that is still more than enough time for her to tell me that she is with child.

Before her father can explode and possibly throw me out of the house, Hitomi's mother speaks up. "Well, it is late and we could all use the chance to think about this calmly. Van, you can stay here tonight, and in the morning we can discuss this with clear heads."

"Thank you." I bow my head to her gratefully. There will be plenty of arguments tonight, but behind closed doors.

Hitomi stands slowly her new form still awkward. "I'll get some blankets."

As soon as she leaves the room, her father stands over me. "You will stay away from Hitomi until we can decide what is best. I don't care who you are but on this world you are just some boy with no job, money, or family. If you were to stay here, there isn't anything you could offer my daughter."

No matter how angry I want to be at him right now, he is completely right. On this world I am nothing, on Gaia I have a country and people, but if we stayed here Hitomi would have nothing. These are her people, and she has a chance at a life here. Had a chance at a life.

He turns to go up the stairs, but has to get one more shot in. "I am a light sleeper. If you sneak into her room tonight I'll know."

I want to snap back at him, but swallow it down. Hitomi comes back with a stack of blankets balanced on her belly. It is adorable and I just want to hold her and never let go. Is that selfish of me? Should I walk away and give her a chance at a normal life?

Setting the blankets next to me for a moment she pauses unsure. She reaches out for me but pulled back at the last moment. "Good night Van."

I watch her go. It's been a long time since I've felt this lost. I'm alone in this strange place and I wonder how Hitomi ever survived it. She is so much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Slouching over, I prop my elbow on my knees, and bury my face in my hands. I breathe in and out deeply, trying to regain myself. I look down at the floor and am surprised to be looking at a worn leather dairy. Mother's book must have fallen when I took off my shirt for my little show and tell.

Not having anything else I can do to sort my jumbled thoughts, I open the book once more and begin to read mother's slanted handwriting.

_**Red 28**__**th**__** Moon,**_

_**It has only been a few days since I've met Lord Goau, but it feels like we've known each other for so much longer. His soldiers were not happy in the slightest for me to join their party. They had one more battle to win before heading home to Fanelia, and they considered my presence a bad omen. **_

_**There wasn't a chance they wouldn't win as they were far better prepared than the other army. Lord Goau and his right hand man, the one eyed samurai named Balgus, both fought like they were born to hold swords. Their Guymelifs moved like dancers throughout the battlefield.**_

_**After the other army surrendered, the energy of excitement was contagious. We would be leaving for Fanelia in the morning, but until then there would be celebrating. The drinking had started before the sun had even set. It could be dangerous for me as one woman in an army of drunken soldiers, but I had nothing to fear. It was hard to tell if they were more afraid of me or just greatly respected Lord Goau. **_

_**The powerful man walked towards me with a smile that almost made his eyes glow with kindness. Sometimes it is hard to believe that he could also be a devastating warrior.**_

"_**Varie." He kissed my hand in such a way that I couldn't help but blush.**_

"_**Lord Goau, you fought beautifully."**_

_**He laughed a rich warm sound. "I don't know if many would describe what we did today as beautiful."**_

"_**Does it matter how they describe it?"**_

"_**No, I don't believe it does, but if war can be beautiful there isn't a word worthy enough to describe you." I for once was at a loss for words myself. Instead I gravitated to his side so we could walk together as had become our habit. He winced when I took his arm, I had not been told he was wounded. **_

"_**Are you injured my lord?" I carefully pushed up his sleeve despite his protests that it was nothing. A long but shallow gash on his right forearm was still bleeding slightly. What a stubborn man to not even let someone look at the wound! Even the smallest injury can be dangerous and risk infection. I quickly lead him out of the path and grab a few things from the nearest soldier. A roll of clean bandages, a clean rag, a container with fresh water, and his bottle of liquor …which he was the most cross to lose.**_

_**If Goau didn't want his men to know he was hurt then I have no reason to baby him. I dump the strong alcohol over the wound despite his hisses of pain. "I know it burns but we must clean the wound." I then poured the water over the area and dabbed it with the cloth until it was dry and the bleeding had seemed to stop. Wrapping his muscular forearm should have been the easiest part if it weren't for our close proximity, which kept distracting me. **_

"_**You will make a wonderful mother." He breathed, watching me with warm eyes. This is the closest I've ever been to a man who was not family. The rest of our evening was nice, if not for the loud celebrating going on in the background. The fires were stoked and someone started playing instruments. The drinking and carousing changed to dancing and singing. I had never been to a party quite like this and the energy was almost electric. Goau and I wandered close to the main group and they paused in their revelry to awkwardly stare at me. **_

"_**I should go before my presence ruins their fun." I whisper to my escort.**_

"_**How can they accept you, if you continue to hide from them?" Goau asks, smiling down at me. "Varie, once they get to know you, they won't have any reason to fear you. Do you dance? We could join in."**_

_**Suddenly shy I realize he is right. I have made no effort to get to know these people because I assumed it was what they wanted. "No, I don't dance." His face falls for a moment and it almost breaks my heart. "But I would be happy to sing."**_

"_**Wonderful! Go tell them what song to play." He grins and motions me to the paused musicians. I doubt they will know my favorite song, so I just begin to sing. It is a ballad slower then what they were playing but chillingly beautiful. **_

_**Next to me, Goau has begun to whistle the tune. The combination of my voice with him following the melody is very stirring. I could feel the music in a way like never before. **_

_**I lose myself to the song and the presence of the man standing beside me. It comes as a shock when the last note fades. All around me is silence. For a moment I fear the soldiers are even more distant, but then they start to cheer, clap, and talk all at once.**_

_**I look to Goau who only smiles as his men begin to accept me bit by bit. **_

_**Pink 3**__**rd**__** moon,**_

_**We've arrived! I can see Fanelia, and it is amazing. Surrounded by cliffs on three sides it is truly a place built to be defended. The trees are huge I can see them from here! We have another day of travel before we enter the city, but I'm so excited to see the blue roofed castle Goau described to me. **_

_**I only have one nagging worry. Goau's arm has yet to heal and it has been nearly a week since the night I sang in the firelight. **_

_**He tells me it is nothing and not to worry, but I noticed a deep scratch on Escaflowne's armor in the exact place Goau bears the un-healing wound. While he is busy making preparations to enter the city as heroes; I go looking for answers.**_

"_**Balgus?" I pause next to where he packs his gear.**_

"_**I do not have time to baby-sit demons today. Scurry back to Lord Goau's shadow where you hide." I know he dislikes me because he fears the legends not for his own safety but for Goau. He hates that he cannot protect his Lord from me, or the danger he thinks I represent.**_

_**I may understand but that doesn't mean he doesn't make me very angry. "If I could curse someone you would be at the top of my list." I hiss between my teeth. Shocked, he looks at me directly for the first time since the night at the lake. Normally, he watches me from a distance like you would a poisonous snake. "Now that I have your attention can you tell me if Lord Goau completed the bond with Escaflowne?"**_

_**Instant distrust clouds his scared features. "What do you know?"**_

"_**I know about Ispano Guymelifs through my clan. If they have the knowledge of Atlantis, why would we not?" Pressing my advantage I continue. "I know Ispano Guymelifs do not curse their operators but can 'share' their pain. The cost of fighting as one with Escaflowne is that if it is damaged the pilot is also injured in the same way."**_

_**I don't know if I just earned a few points in his book, but Balgus seems to be taking me seriously now. "He did the blood pact to awaken Escaflowne and nothing more. I would know if Lord Goau completed the bond." He says the words, but doesn't look too sure.**_

"_**Would you now?" I motion to where the armors sit idle while their owners complete other tasks. "Can you then tell me why Lord Goau has a wound that refuses to heal exactly where Escaflowne was gouged in the arm?"**_

_**Turning away from me the warrior heads directly for Escaflowne. He finds exactly what I expected, and that is that the cockpit was entirely undamaged. The damage is superficial and should not be reflected on Lord Goau, but it is. **_

"_**Can you fix it?" I ask to his shocked look. "If you can fix it then first Lord Goau will feel it, and most importantly the wound will disappear."**_

"_**We are almost home, why now?" He furrows his bushy brows.**_

"_**You may not believe me, but Lord Goau's safety is my main concern. I care for him. If we don't know about something as dangerous as the bond then how can we protect him?"**_

"_**Fine, I'll have it fixed and you watch him." He starts calling over for tools. Considering myself dismissed I turn to go, but Balgus calls out to me. "Varie, it goes without saying but tell no one of this… and thank you."**_

Closing the book I mark where I left off with a feather that lay forgotten on the floor after my earlier demonstration. Mother seems to be writing more details but less often. There is so much I didn't know and I haven't made it very far in the book yet. Balgus didn't like mother, but I know he only ever had good things to say about her. It seems that their friendship started out a bit rough and grew over their common concern. Father.

Why didn't anyone tell me about what completing the bond with Escaflowne would do? Not that it would have stopped me, but it just seems like there was so much they could have told me. Why does it keep coming back to me being the only one left in the dark? Is the bond what killed my father?

Would my child be better not knowing me? Not knowing the horrible things I have done in the name of my country. My hands will never be clean, and a life in Fanelia is far from safe. Would Hitomi ever forgive me if I left her here where she at least has her family? Or is that what she wanted all along?

Could I ever forgive myself if I walked away now?

If I did what was best for Hitomi and our child, would I ever be happy again?

I have too many questions and not enough information. Hitomi promised to explain her reasons to me, but we never made it to the shrine. The arguing from her parents' room has quieted down. The pretense of **'sleeping on it'** didn't fool anyone. They just needed to **'discus'** our situation behind closed doors.

As much as I'd like to have the Kanzaki's blessing this really isn't up to them. Hitomi and I need to figure out what is best for us. Something will have to be sacrificed.

I don't exactly 'sneak' up the stairs but being noisy would be counter-productive. I find myself standing in front of yet another door without a clue on how best to proceed. Suddenly at a loss again, I lose all the words I had planned to say, and now I'd just really like to not make a fool out of myself.

The door opens without me knocking for the second time tonight. Hitomi stands in front of me, wearing thin nightclothes that must be old as the shirt stretches tightly over her stomach. Aside from the brief moment where she hugged me, I haven't touched her belly and I really want to.

She steps aside and motions for me to enter her room. Closing the door behind her she leans back against it. Placing a hand on her protruding middle she looks down almost sadly. "Its all people see when they look at me anymore."

She's wrong, the first thing I always see is her face. Then I start thinking, and that's when I'm drawn down to the noticeable changes. "I'm just amazed that you carry a part of me with you."

Hitomi scoffs, as her eyes flash a challenge. "I don't need to be pregnant for that. How many times have we saved each other? We carry each other in our memories and hearts."

Now it's my turn for disbelief. "Really? I distinctly remember being sent away. Of not being told you were pregnant at all. You pulled away from me, not the other way around." I'm trying not to raise my voice but I'm kind of beyond the self-pity right now. "If you are so quick to forget I'll have to remind you Hitomi, but **I** came for **you**."

The next thing I know her arms are around my neck with her body pressed the length of mine. "How about we start over?" She breathes the words out before capturing my surprised lips. Not exactly what I was aiming for, but my arms embrace her as if I can memorize her by feel alone.

So much better then being slapped.

**To Be Continued…**

**A/N**- Well what did you think?! This story may seem like its slow to update but don't give up on me I'll make it worth your while.

I quit drawing about the time I stopped writing the first time. Now that I have all these stories going so well I've decided to start drawing again. So far I have just been making fanart to go along with my fanfictions. There is one picture for this story and two for Last Person on Earth. If you are interested I might have to post the links in my profile (if FFnet lets me). Or you can just go on **DeviantArt **and look up an artist named banryuu. Its always me.

**Please Review! **


	3. Dreams

I know I took a while but work for both me and my beta are getting busier. I apologize for the delay but honestly it might get worse before it gets better. Just bear with us. This was a hard chapter to write as it was almost all talking. Some people like it more that way. I on the other hand am an action person. I try to find a balance between the two but as a drama this will lean heavily towards talking.

**Chapter 3- Dreams**

Her fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me closer. I can't think of anything but the promise of a future with Hitomi and the feel of our bodies pressed together. A body changed in such a short time. The press of something literally between us pulls me back to reality. I need my mind back on this world to get the answers denied to me.

Reluctantly I pull away, gently grasping Hitomi's wrists to remove her hands only to place them on my chest instead. Though I don't want to stop the moment the best thing I can do is put some space between us without outright rejecting her. "As much as I'd like to forget everything and start over… I can't. Hitomi, I didn't come into your room in the middle of the night to do anything but talk."

Her bottom lip quivers slightly, but she nods. "We should sit down. You're right, we have a lot to talk about." Sitting on the edge of her bed, she clutches a pillow to her chest like a floatation device.

Sitting on the bed with her might be a bad idea, so I pull over the chair from her desk and turn it around so I can sit straddled with my arms propped up on the back of it. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Rubbing the back of her neck as if embarrassed she won't meet my eyes. "You have to start with the hard question."

I can't help but smile slightly since that seems to be a habit she picked up from me. My smile fades as fast as it comes when I realize that habit is normally reserved for when you're unsure of what to say. Since when has Hitomi felt the need to censor herself around me? The fact that she always spoke bluntly to me was a trait I valued and relied upon. She never tiptoed around me due to rank like most people, so why now of all times am I not getting complete honesty? "Aren't all the questions pretty difficult right now? "Is it your family?"

"Not entirely." She gives a sad smile, still not meeting my eyes. "I'm not ready to go back Van, and you coming for me gives me very little choice."

I decide to try rephrasing the question in the hopes of getting a clearer response. "Is it the thought of leaving them and this world for good?"

"Not exactly, I've realized it would have been kinder to my family if I hadn't come back at all." She places one of her slender hands over where my larger ones grip the back of the chair. "Thank you for standing up for me, but it really wasn't necessary. My dad is just scared that he can't control or protect me from what has happened."

"Guys like him don't handle fear well." I agree, letting the warmth flow between us like old times. "They take it out on the people around them, but there is no excuse for what he said about you."

"At least I tried to tell them everything, it was up to them how much they believed." She shrugged, as if this wasn't something that bothered her.

"Now is the time to tell me everything then." I push, knowing that she'll only tell me what she has to at this point. As much as I'd like to know more about her family or life here, it is just a form of evasion.

She sighs heavily pushing the pillow away. "Think of it this way Van. For so long all you had to think about was Fanelia. What was best for it, fighting for it, and even the future of it." Hitomi wrapped her arms around her rounded stomach as if protecting it from the world. "This child is my Fanelia. It is my responsibility to think of it first."

My hands clench tightly on the back of the chair. "Are you saying that the child needs protection from me?"

Eyes innocent, Hitomi immediately reaches for me. "**Not** at all! I'm sure you will be a great father… just not yet." Despite her slight hesitation I feel like she is telling the truth. "I want to protect our child from things you can't fight. Here let me show you." She reaches across to her desk, making the too small shirt rise up a bit higher. I was so focused on the exposed skin that I didn't even realize she had opened the desk drawer to remove something until she was waving the ridged envelope in front of my face.

I look from it to her before taking the item. It felt heavier then paper and not nearly as flexible. Carefully I open the envelope, removing a black and white printed sheet. Looking closely, I am amazed to see it was a picture like I've never seen before.

Hitomi leans towards me as I delicately hold this unusual thing. "It's called a sonogram. The doctors here use an ultrasound machine… it uses sound waves to form a picture so they can see what is normally unseen. It's used to check growth rate, development, gender, and if the child is healthy." She started pointing out different blurry shapes. "That's the face and there are the hands and all ten fingers. Everything is normal he is totally healthy."

Stunned, I look from the image to her. "You said **he**. Is it a boy?"

She flushes slightly as if it wasn't a fact that she wanted to let slip. "It isn't for sure, but even if the doctors didn't tell me so I know our child is a boy."

Looking back down at the grainy image with new eyes I gently trace the delicate features of my son. I have heard it said that a woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant and her bond with the child is so much closer and that a man only becomes a father when he holds his child for the first time. I know now that it is not true. In that moment, I felt a powerful pull to protect and love this child.

Pulling my attention back to the present, Hitomi began pleading her case again. "Medical care is so much more advanced. Both me and the child would be safer if he were born here."

Reluctantly I hand her the miraculous picture, wanting my hands free and it safe. Hitomi takes it and carefully slides it between the pages of a blue bound book on her night table. I sigh, just what I need, another mysterious journal.

I don't want to scare her, but I think she needs a reminder that everything doesn't always go as planned. "I see, and how would your healers react if our son was born with wings out?"

"That's not possible." She blurted out, but her eyes were uncertain. "Is it?"

"After the war a half Draconian immigrated to Fanelia to join my guard. They were born with wings out and it killed their mother."

One hand flew to cover her mouth while the other cradled her belly. "That's horrible."

"Aside from Folken, this guard is the only other like me I have ever met." I admit

"What happened to them?"

"It's not a happy story." I hesitate to tell her anymore but there isn't a need.

She snorts. "Seems to be a common theme."

"Let me see if I understand this." I had to force the conversation back on the right track. "You planned on having the child here. **Alone.** What after that?"

Hitomi looked uncertain of what to say so I continued trying to let me disbelief overshadow my anger. "Another three months, that's nine months more for me. You planned on showing up almost three years after you left with a baby and no word?"

"Two and a half years at most." She corrected, though it doesn't make me any happier. This time it is her turn to continue without a response. "Anyways, the time might change this trip, and it wouldn't have been that long."

That has me off balance this time. "What do you mean by that?"

She flips open the blue covered book wordlessly and hands it to me. The handwriting covering the pages was the same characters inscribed outside the house. Completely illegible to me so I just shake my head, and hand the book back to her. "You'll have to tell me."

"I wrote everything down. All I could remember about my time on Gaia… the people that suffered and the things we overcame." She clutched the book tightly. "I even found out more after I returned. My grandmother was taken more then forty years ago but it was only ten on Gaia. There was another taken even before her. His name was Isaac Newton but you knew him as Dornkirk." Before I could gather my thoughts she continued.

"He was famous here so there are records of his life, and when he was taken to Gaia it must have been recorded as his death, more than 280 years ago."

"How is that possible?" Now I was intrigued though I had a bad feeling about all this.

"If time moved five times as fast here then Dornkirk was only on Gaia for about 60 years."

"Dornkirk and your Grandmother both had time move faster here, so why is it now slower? It makes no sense." The numbers just didn't match up. Five times as fast for the first taken to Gaia, then four times as fast for her grandmother, but why now is it three times slower. We know one day here is three on Gaia… why would it change so much when the only variable where the people transported?

"I think it was us." Hitomi speaks, drawing my attention back to her and the warm eyes that I could drown in and not regret. "Something about you and me together changed things. I thought maybe if I waited until after the child was born it might do something similar. Even if it only evened out the time change a little it could still help."

"Then why did nothing change when I came for you the first time?" I'm still trying to reason this out, but something is off about her explanation.

"I think it has to be someone unknowingly or unwillingly taken that triggers the change. I wanted to come back to you, and I still do. I thought this might be the only way to make a difference."

As much as I enjoy her telling me she wants to come back, it still doesn't excuse not telling me she was with child. If I ever kept something this big from Hitomi no explanation would ever make it right in her eyes. That's when it clicked, what about this whole thing that rang odd with me. "Why do you care how fast time moves if you planned on coming back regardless? Why not return to me months ago when you found out?"

She hesitates, not meeting my eyes, never a good sign. "No one wants to grow old and die too fast."

I've tried really hard not to get angry. Yelling at her won't change anything, but right now, it is exactly what I want to do. Instead I grit my teeth so hard it hurts. "That is **total crap** and you know it. This is just you planning an **easy escape**."

Her eyes flash a warning, and I know I'm in for a fight. "So what if **I am!** I don't want to have any **regrets**."

I push myself quickly out of the chair letting it fall noisily to the floor. "Then actually **commit to something!** Marry me."

Throwing her hands up I felt dismissed, as if I'm the one speaking nonsense. "Why is that your answer for everything?"

"**Because it's the logical reaction to all this**." My voice had risen with my irritation.

She shoots a nervous glance at the door, as if it would be opened at any moment. "Quiet Van, you'll wake the whole house."

Why am I the selfish, unreasonable one? If understanding her were a life or death issue I would have died a long time ago. "You** still** want me to leave?"

"If your going to** act like a child**, yes." She hisses between her teeth. I don't know how much she really desires me to be gone, but I'll let her have what she wants.

"Then good bye." I spin on my heels and stalk out of the room. Despite the increasing volume of our augment there is no sign of movement from her parents room. Hitomi didn't call out for me like I'd hoped deep down. Taking the stairs swiftly, I'm surprised that the dark room below isn't vacant after all. Hitomi's mother sits in the shadow with my mother's journal closed in her lap and no smile on her face.

"Didn't go well, did it?" She glances to where I stand frozen. "Come here Van, I think you and I should talk."

"Hitomi has made her wishes clear." I state, but I am reluctant to leave without hearing this woman out. I descend the last few steps and sit on the very edge of the chair.

She touches the cover of the book almost reverently before offering it back to me. "This is yours isn't it?"

"Yes, it was my mother's." I gratefully take the book from her, gripping the age-softened leather in my hands. It seems I've been losing track of it lately and that would be a great loss.

"Please take Hitomi with you." She spoke calmly, though the set of her mouth was grim.

I shake my head, feeling the weight of tension settle on my shoulders. "That's not what she really wants."

This woman, who I have barely met, reaches out to me patting my hand in a comforting manner. "Since when can a teenage girl be completely sure of what she wants? Hitomi belongs with you. She always has."

That's when it struck me that the way she has reacted to all this is like she knew it was coming. "Do you have visions like Hitomi?"

That sad smile also looks familiar. "No, my sight was never as strong as hers. Hitomi takes after my mother in the strength of her abilities. I have feelings though and things always turn out that way."

"Is this power also passed from parent to child?" I have to ask, seeing as no one seems to know for sure where Hitomi's abilities came from, only that they got much stronger after she was transported to Gaia with me. The pendent may have amplified the powers but as I've had it since she left it can't be the source.

"It is passed from mother to child, always stronger in girls though." Her smile tells me she is also aware of the gender of my child.

"Why does it seem I am always the last to know these things?" I do not expect an answer, as the question is rhetorical.

"Will you read me something from your book? We have time to wait for Hitomi to pack and follow you." The sureness of her statement left no question that Hitomi would come for me this time.

I nod, opening the journal to were the stray feather marks my place. From her expression it isn't necessary to start from the beginning or to explain the setting. Hitomi's mother just wants to know something of the world she out of her three generations will most likely never see. The writing on this page was inscribed with a heavier hand and a fiercer slant to the words, as if written by someone very angry, trying to spear their thoughts straight through.

_**Pink 31**__**th**__** moon, **_

_**Those ridiculous old fools! As wonderful as my Lord Goau is how can he have such blind decrepit misogynists as advisors?! I overheard them today in yet another meeting where they tried to convince Goau of my infectious curse. I will write of exactly what they said about me.**_

"_**Have you gone mad?!"**_

"_**He's right, you can't marry a Draconian woman."**_

"_**Surely you're not forgetting they are the accursed people who destroyed Atlantis…"**_

"_**She will bring disaster upon Faneilia."**_

"_**No, we can't possibly consent to this milord."**_

_**My hands shook so hard, but what could I say? Listening from the shadows, there was nothing I could do to change their mind. Luckily, I didn't have to. Goau sat on his throne, seething in anger. "I don't care what the legends say. They've nothing to do with Varie. Do you hear me?" His voice was low and threatening, in a way I have never known before. "I've fallen in love with Varie and there is nothing that can separate us."**_

_**May the gods help anyone that opposes him after such a declaration.**_

_**Brown 5th moon,**_

_**Even after the disastrous meeting that I overheard, Lord Goau has acted no different around me. Just as kind and as thoughtful as before. His advisors on the other hand would like nothing more then to see me gone. **_

_**Speaking of gone… Balgus has left Fanelia and for a moment I thought it was on my account. Since we have started to realize that Lord Goau is both our main priority, we share common goals. The warrior is still weary of my company but we are civil. It seems he has chosen to travel Gaia with the goal of becoming a stronger swordsman and even training promising youth in the ways of the sword. Before he left we spoke once more.**_

"_**Lady?" He called out to me as I walked the gardens.  
>"Samurai." I tried to suppress my grin at our awkward greetings.<strong>_

_**He coughed uncomfortably into his hand. "Where is your escort?"**_

"_**I did not know that the King's cursed paramour merited any guard."**_

"_**If anyone needs protection, it would be you Lady. Your desire to wed the king has not made you any friends."**_

_**I raised my chin as I do to deflect the harsh words and pointed looks. "Then it is good I did not journey here to make any friends."**_

_**That earned barking laughter from the scarred man. "Then Lady you have failed since you have earned one in me. When my tour is complete, I swear to return and teach your sons the art of swordsmanship."**_

"_**Thank you, that would mean the world to me. Balgus, Fanelia will always welcome you with open arms. Return home soon my friend."**_

I finish reading that page and close the book. It is comforting to see that at least Balgus and mother had found an understanding. Two people that didn't think they'd ever see eye to eye learned how wrong they were. As much as my heart aches for what Hitomi has kept from me, I know I don't love her any less.

Communication has never quite been a strong point for either of us and she was right in knowing if I had been informed of her condition there would be no waiting. She would have found herself in Fanelia despite what she wanted. I want… no I need her to wish for this, for me.

"Thank you, for sharing that with me." I had almost forgotten Hitomi's mother and her quite presence.

"I apologize if it was not interesting." I shift awkwardly, not knowing what she expected to hear. There are no fights of valor or life and death struggles depicted in these pages.

"No, it was fine. Your mother sounds like an entertaining person. Did you know her well before she…" She trailed off uncertainly. It seems some of my family's past was at least shared.

"Passed." I finished, undisturbed by admitting how little I actually knew my own parents. I clutched the book a bit tighter. "I was five, but I hold my memories close. This is my chance to know her and my father as I didn't while they lived."

"I'm sure you've made them very proud." She pats my hand once more, before glancing up the stairs with a knowing smile. "Well, if you leave the house now then Hitomi will catch up to you before you make it past the gate."

I stand, taking the cue. I have learned the hard way to always listen to seers. "Thank you. I don't know if I can ever repay your kindness."

She waves me away. "Just take care of them."

"I swear it." I bow to her as she continues to shoo me out the door with a radiant smile. Stepping out into the night air I feel like a different person is residing in my skin. I start down the path away from the Kanzaki family home. The stars shine brightly and I could already feel the pull to go home. I have only been here hours and yet it seems like a lifetime ago.

The moment I reach the gate, I hear the sound of a door being opened and quickly shut. "Van, **Wait!"** Hitomi calls out to me. I turn to see she has dressed and carries a large bag. "**Thank god** you haven't left yet."

I can't help smiling at her. "I won't leave you." She makes her way to me, as I quickened my own steps to close the distance that much quicker. I pull her into my arms as soon as she is within reach. "It seems we are bound together."

Even in the dark I can tell there was a heat in her gaze. "I wouldn't have it any other way." Her mouth finds mine then and I drink in the feel and taste of her.

Pulling away reluctantly, I take the bag from her wordlessly. I don't need to say anything as she knows what is on my mind and says it before I can.

"Lets go home to Fanelia. I've been gone too long." She grabs my free hand, twining our fingers together. The pendent I've worn everyday for the last year and a half, begins to glow. Crackling energy fills the air and condenses into a blinding power all around us. The magical wind lifts us almost gently. Then faster and faster we shot into the sky towards Gaia and home where we belong, together.

**To Be Continued…**

AN- Well they are finally going home to Gaia. There might not be anymore that takes place on earth. I always did like it better on Gaia. The drama is far from over in fact this won't be Van and Hitomi's first fight as perspective new parents. Please be patient with me I'll make it worthwhile I swear.

**Please Read and Review...**


	4. Expectations

Welcome back to as I call it Escaflowne and Pregnant. I know this isn't a new idea as we all want to see Van and Hitomi together, we might make them move a little fast. I hope that this story isn't too unrealistic, but Hitomi having a baby isn't the whole point to the story just the main feature.

**Chapter 4- Expectations**

The entire time we were being swept through the night sky in a blinding pillar of warm light, I kept my arms wrapped tightly around Hitomi, as if this thin layer of protection would make any difference if things went bad. Sending myself through the unpredictable teleportation is one thing, but Hitomi in her current condition is a lot more fragile. Her warmth and closeness make the only measure of time that is noticeable throughout the whole ordeal is the pounding of our hearts.

Our feet touch down once again on solid ground and yet I hesitate to let go. Does she also feel as though the spell will break the moment we separate? How long was I gone? Hours? Days?

The lightening pink hue of the sky indicates the coming sunrise. Hitomi stirs in my arms but doesn't pull away.

"Where did we land?" She asks curiously, as if we could be anywhere.

"Just outside the palace." I can't help but be a little smug at her shock. "I enshrined the engergist in the cemetery, so that we always have an anchor here in Fanelia."

Impressed, she smiles up at me and I feel as though this little solution has earned me a higher regard. Honestly I wasn't completely sure it would work until now. The down side is that if she wanted to go back home this was the place she would come. The exact spot in which she left me last time.

The thought makes my throat tight and I have to work to speak again. "We should head back to the palace. You must be tired and I left Merle in charge... so there is no telling the damage I will need to fix."

She nods and this time it seems she is the one hesitant to let go. I start to lean in, drawn by her closeness and the need to kiss her soft lips. I snap back into the present with the rustling sounds of someone quickly approaching us. I move easily to stand in front of Hitomi, missing the sword not at my side.

A quick shape darts forward and I can feel the tension radiating throughout my whole body. Pink hair and cat ears burst from the shadows and I relax so that the impact of her throwing herself into me is lessened.

"Lord Van! **You're back!**" She grins up at me, her stripped face full of joy. "You brought Hitomi home for good this time I hope?"

"How many days have I been gone?" I ask drawing her attention away from the girl still mostly shielded from her view.

Merle's large blue eyes are confused. "Days? It's only been less than twelve hours. You missed your birthday party, but are back in time to attend your **own** boring meetings." Her tail swishes happily.

Twelve hours? If I was on the mystic moon with Hitomi for about six hours then she was right and the time is only half now. I glance at her and catch the knowing smirk. I don't know if we being together were the trigger or our child, but it seems to have worked. I'll have to remind her that if she had returned to me or told me sooner then it still would have worked. I feel like that will lead to another fight, so I'll wait to say anything. Her coming home to Fanelia is a happy occasion and I'd like it to stay that way.

Merle finally releases me, though gladly without any face licking. A show of affection I think she has realized is inappropriate and embarrassing. Before I can prepare her for the ultimate surprise she darts around me to hug Hitomi, but freezes in shock. Something clicks and her anger is immediate, claws click out sharply and her tail puffs out rigidly. "**How dare you!** I knew you were too **fickle** for Lord Van!" Merle hisses, preparing to lunge.

I react to move between them, but Hitomi doesn't need my help. "**Stupid Cat!**" Her shout startles us both. "It's **Van's child!** He is the only one I could ever love. The only man I could ever be with..." She trails off, realizing she just shouted about our night together. Her face reddens and I realize I should also feel embarrassed, but the declaration warms me.

I take her hand in mine and face my startled little sister. "It's true, Hitomi and I were together before she left, but on her world the time moves slower, it has only been six months."

The aggravated swish of her tail resumes as Merle glares at Hitomi and her belly a moment longer before she makes her decision. "Well then the wedding has to be **soon**! My niece or nephew won't be a **bastard**."

**"Merle!"** Hitomi looks ready to attack the cat-girl, fists clenched tightly at her sides.

I place my hand on her shoulder in what I hope is a soothing manner. "She isn't wrong." Hitomi's glare burns me sharply, but I don't think she fully understands. "A child born out of wedlock isn't recognized as a proper heir, especially if the father is titled. If we are not married when the child is born, our son could never inherit anything or become king."

"That's awful." The color has drained from her face. "You know it is yours so why does it matter if we are married? Everyone will know we were not married when it happened."

I hesitate since the reason she is so resistant to the idea of us marrying still eludes me. "That is true, but it is more a matter of rights and not propriety now. I want to marry you Hitomi and it is a formal reorganization that it is my child."

"Yeah think of your child." Merle speaks up spitefully. "It's not like **your reputation** can be saved now."

I shoot a reproachful look at my oldest friend; tact has never been her strong suit. I turn back to the poor girl who only knows about half of what she's is in for. "Hitomi, it has been a long day. We can discuss this later."

The relief on her face is clear as she lets me lead her through the trees and towards the palace. It's hard to believe that less than twenty-four hours ago I was cleaning my family memorials going about my normal post-war life. Now, not only do I have Hitomi back at my side, but in a few short months I will be a father.

As early in the morning as it is, the kitchen is already bursting with activity. Pausing at the door, I turn to Hitomi who looks beyond tired and worried. "Do you wish to get some rest before word gets around?"

"Please." She sighs, leaning against me tiredly.

"Lord Van, how will you get in unseen? The servants are bound to see, and you know how fast word travels." Merle asks concerned.

"From above." I answer shortly before adding. "Tell my steward to reschedule all my meetings for after midday." Not needing a response, I pull my shirt off for the second time in so many hours. I tuck it into the back of my pants, obscuring the journal from view. I open my arms to Hitomi and she steps into my embrace once more.

I breathe deeply, feeling the familiar burning pain as the great wings burst out, and I launch us off the ground with a powerful push from my legs. The trip to the roof is short and if we are spotted it is only my unusual habit. No one will think twice. I land lightly on the roof, not far from the door leading inside. Holding Hitomi by her slender shoulders I turn her around, so her back is pressed against my chest.

She takes in the view with wide eyes. "It's so beautiful Van." She leans into me while watching the sunrise over the treetops, casting watercolor hues over the rooftops of Fanelia.

"There is still some work to do, but this is our home." From the cliff sides to the new stone outer wall our external defenses have been improved. The best we can do to protect the people of Fanelia from reliving the nightmare from almost two years ago is to never let our guard down. As much as peace has been maintained we can't become complacent. Before Zaibach attacked there hadn't been a war since my father and mother met. The stakes are too high now to blindly trust that everything will be all right forever.

As is she could read my mind Hitomi turned in my arms. "_Fanelia won't burn **ever** again_." She stated simply with a warm smile. "Escaflowne _will sleep_ for a very long time."

"Have you seen it?" I question, taking her face in my hands gently.

"I don't need to. I just know." She tried to hide a large yawn but I could tell her eyes were already fighting to stay open. I bend slightly so that I can sweep her long legs over one arm, and carry her easily down the castle stairs. "You **are** a good king and father." Hitomi murmurs sleepily into my bare shoulder.

I want to ask her more about the vague statements, but she is already asleep in my arms. It takes a little effort to open the door to my rooms without use of a free hand, but I manage without disturbing her.

Once I have Hitomi settled beneath the covers, I set her bag on a chair by the bed in case she needs something from it when she wakes.

I should also try to get some sleep, but I am still wide awake. I step into the outer room pulling the bedroom door partially closed behind me. I drop heavily into my desk chair physically exhausted but mentally awake. I pull the worn book from behind me and open it on the desk. Flipping ideally though the pages I wait for a passage to jump out at me.

_**Silver 19**__**th**__** Moon,**_

_**The New Year is fast approaching and yet my place here in Fanelia is far from secure. The advisors and people still don't want me anywhere near their King. I feel their eyes watching me with disapproval. All that melts away when Goau is near and I don't know how I could have ever lived without him. **_

_**This morning, despite the snow falling, he still finds a way to give me a flower each day. Today's was the most beautiful rose that surely couldn't grow in the frigid winter air. **_

_**As I touched the velvety petals, I couldn't help but ask the only question on my mind. "How much longer must we wait?"**_

_**He sighs heavily before brushing my cheek as tenderly as I stroked the flower. "I know my dear. Even as king it is difficult to sway public opinion." He spoke tenderly. "They just fear what they can't understand."**_

"_**If I was with child would they understand better?" My cheeks burn with embarrassment from my rash words. Even though the thought is not a new one, I can't believe I spoke it out loud. **_

_**Though my words surprised him, Goau's eyes remained warm. "As much as I want to be with you my love. Your worth to me is greater then you know, and I could not do such a thing to you." **_

_**Suddenly shy, I try to turn away but he holds me firmly in place. "Varie, you are worth being patient for."**_

_**If I wasn't already crazy about this man, I would fall in love all over again. **_

_**Silver 28**__**th**__** Moon,**_

_**We are to be married! The decision is final and preparations are being made. It won't be for a few more months but White 1**__**st**__** moon will be the happiest day of my life. Goau is so happy at the prospect of a spring wedding. Personally I could be wearing a dress made out of potato sacks tomorrow and I would still be ecstatic. **_

_**Gold 16**__**th**__** Moon, **_

_**The invitations have gone out and we are expecting guests from all the countries royal houses. I have been asked not to tell any of the guests about my… heritage. To keep my wings hidden. **_

_**As much as it should bother me to keep secret who I really am, it actually is a good idea. If people don't know then they can't judge us for it. It might be better for any children we have to have a chance at a normal life. Even though Goau accepts me for who and what I am, not everyone will be as understanding. **_

_**I really am very lucky. I pray that one day my son will be so lucky in love.**_

I close the book knowing two things are for sure. My parents were incredibly in love, and that my father is a far better man then I am. Opening the desk drawer I drop the book in and slide it shut feeling like a total ass.

No matter how mad I could be that Hitomi kept her pregnancy a secret from me, she wouldn't have been in this situation at all if I was more in control. I should have asked her to stay. I could have done so many things differently, to do right by Hitomi.

I should really try to get some sleep, but I can't force myself to re-enter the bedroom. Just leaning against the doorway I watch her peacefully sleeping. I have to find a way to make this right, to make things work.

Rubbing the sleep away from my eyes, I drag myself to the closet. Before I can do anything, these dirty clothes will have to go. Somehow it feels like in such small amount of time my entire world has shifted. Despite entering the castle and getting Hitomi settled in unnoticed, the moment another person sees her, people will start making assumptions.

I shed my standard 'comfort' clothes, worn when I have a moment to myself; training or doing manual labor. I wash up quickly, trying not to wake Hitomi. Once dressed for the day in supple dark breeches and a crisply starched full sleeved shirt. I hesitate on wearing an embroidered waist coat and grab a vest instead, the weather is getting too warm and I prefer less layers then fashionable. Tightening the belt holding my crested sword at my side I feel much better like I am incomplete without it in reach.

I know Hitomi won't like that sentiment, but things are different in this world and I hope she will remember and accept all of me. Checking on her one last time I think of writing a note so she is not confused by my absence, but I'm not sure she can read the written language here. Instead I place one of my lose feathers on the empty pillow beside her.

If that symbol works I may have a use for those blasted things that I always seem to find stuck in hair and clothes after releasing my wings.

Shutting the door quietly behind me, I make my way though the halls to the dinning hall. I don't feel hungry, though I barely ate at all yesterday. This is the best place to find my advisors this early in the morning. Shoving food in their faces and nursing steaming cups of coffee. My assumptions were correct and they spot me striding towards their table with purpose.

A few of these me where also advisors to my father; the ones that survived the years and the war. I would not have advisors that were not good men, but I wonder if any of these people were old enough to have been against my mother. I shake the thought away, the negative reaction to my draconian mother matters little now.

Yurizen, who reminds me of a shorter, less scarred Balgus, stands up upon seeing me and motions towards his table. "Good morning my lord, we missed you at your birthday celebration last night."

I smirk, though I am not in a joking mood. "I see you had a good enough time without me. Are the wine cellars dry?"

The older men all laugh. "Not yet, but give us a wedding to celebrate and we will do our best to drain the stores." Yurizen gives me a hardy thump on the back, which would have knocked the wind out of me two years ago.

This is the point of the well-known line of jokes where I would evade questions or turn the conversation to other matters. Instead I meet his eyes with a determined look. "That is precisely what I wanted to speak to you all about."

They all freeze as if afraid to spook a skittish animal. This is what they have been pleading with me about for over a year. They must fear that if they make any sudden movements, I'll go back to my earlier stance that I still had time and that Hitomi would come back to me. Rezil, one of the newer advisors spoke tentatively, having to confirm what they were all thinking. "My lord does this mean you have changed your mind?"

I shake my head slowly. "It does not." Before the hope leaves their eyes, I continue to speak. "However Hitomi Kanzaki has come back to Fanelia with me for good."

Relief floods their faces and my advisors relax noticeably. They remain focused on me but start eating and drinking where then had left off. "That is **indeed** good news." Yurizen grins motioning me to the empty chair next to where he had been sitting when I entered the room. "Please sit milord, we can discus plans farther. Have you and the lady spoke about wedding dates?"

"Actually, we haven't had much of a chance since we just returned this morning." I didn't sit but accepted a cup of coffee anyways. "It should be some time in the next three months."

Again they all froze. Yurizen, being the ringleader this morning found his words quicker then the other men. "This is a bit sudden, but you must have a good reason for the dramatic change. Three months is very quick for a royal wedding. Would you and the lady not like a slightly longer engagement?"

I sigh, wondering how they will react to the rest of the news. "A longer engagement would be nice, but it is important that the wedding happens before my child is born."

Shattering glass rang like destructive bells and multiple cups and glasses fell to the floor from shocked hands.

Better then I expected no one had started choking, but the noise of them all talking at once was nearly defending.

**To Be Continued…**

Okay hopefully things will pick up not only in the story itself but also in my slow writing and posting. I do apologize between work and a nice case of writers block both my stories have slowed. I have drawn a few more fanarts both in my 'Older Van' series and a few of Hitomi as well. The first excerpt from the diary was inspired by a picture of Varie and Goau I drew for a friend. These days I have to get inspiration where ever available.


	5. Scars

**Hello there! Long time no see. So I have a baby now and she is the greatest thing ever. I also have a new job with so much more work/stress. I recently started re-reading my old stories and a few of my favorites in the few moments I have of free time... so not as much as I'd like. I have decided to try and focus on one story finish it and then do the other. I know more people like Last Person On Earth... but this story only has (about) 3 more chapters left while LPOE has 6ish.  
>I have found this story harder to write since I got prego last year since its hard to write from Van's perspective on something I kind of experienced on Hitomi's side. Again this is a drama with not as much action as I'd like but the twist... Oh God the twist will totally be worth it.<strong>

**Again this is posted without a beta reader as though my beta is supper awesome a said she had time to do it now... her old e-mail I used to send to isn't working, so I decided to post without her blessing and clear things up for the next chapter instead of delaying.**

**Forgotten Words**

**Chapter 5- Scars**

Gripping the familiar hilt tightly I maintain the basic stance until my shoulders begin to burn with the strain. Breathing out slowly I release all the tension at once bringing the blade down swiftly in a deadly arch. My practiced steps follow the pattern of the sweeping sword motions flowing seamlessly from one to another. The cool night air doesn't reach me through the heat I am radiating. I know once my skin and sweat began to cool the uncharacteristically cold spring night with make me shiver, but that is still a ways off, and I have a lot of frustration to burn off lately.

Hitomi has been back for almost a month and things between us have only gotten worse. Once my announcement went public she shut me out completely. Not literally mind you since the stubborn girl has to be in the same room as me to keep up appearances of a happy couple, but aside from polite small talk in public not a word is said between us.

Not for a lack of trying on my part, but I seem to have greatly wronged her by going to my advisors without warning her. It goes without saying that the sooner they were informed of our 'situation' the better. Honestly how long did she think we could keep the big secret? The moment someone saw her any chance of keeping our unborn child hidden would be lost. I'd rather try to get ahead of the rumors even if that has made her hate me.

To be completely truthful I think I made the appropriate choice as a rumor has already started floating around that Hitomi and I have been betrothed since the end of the war and that I have visited her on her world.

It cleanly explains our predicament and just makes us appear as if we couldn't wait for our wedding, one we had already planned just had yet to set a date for. Not that I would ever purposely lie to my people, but it comes down to perceptions. The order in which the next heir to the Fanelian throne was conceived matters little, but ensuring he is accepted by the people let alone others of rank is a higher priority.

I don't know who started the rumor one of my advisors or more likely Merle. People seem to overlook her quick wit due to her 'enthusiasm'. She was the first to notice my growing affection for Hitomi, and her then bratty actions towards the girl were her way of trying to protect me. Proof yet again that no one can truly be protected from themselves.

After all the physical proof of my feelings for Hitomi can't be hidden. If she had come back to me sooner there might have been a more subtle way of dealing with all this. I can't and won't place blame on her entirely... after all I was intimately involved in creating this 'problem'. There has to be something that can be done to make things right between us before our wedding. A deadline fast approaching by the ever growing child Hitomi carries.

This is not a position I would ever wish anyone to be in, but we have to be prepared for any situation and I fear we were not prepared in the least. Children having children, is what I have heard whispered by some of my older advisors. I don't blame them for they are right, but after all they were the ones pushing for me to marry and provide an heir. Which I have... prematurely, mind you but still it is what they wanted after all.

I have little choice and neither does she at this point, but why Hitomi refuses to marry me is beyond my comprehension. It is how things are done here and she knows it. Is just that she doesn't want to be queen? Or that after all this she no longer wants me. My sword halts it's progress in midair.

How can I try to make Hitomi happy if it is me she resists?

These thoughts bring a bitter taste to my already dry mouth and I find I no longer have the heart to practice. It gives me too much time to think and my thoughts turn dark more often these days. As has mother's writings. I have continued reading her long forgotten words through this trying time. I only try to read one entry a day, and I don't know if it is just that I wish to savor learning new things about my lost family but also to prolong the inevitable sad ending. How far did mother get in her autobiography? Did she stop after the death of my father? Or did she chronical what we all thought was Folken's grizzly end? Is there any clue to what really happened to her? Or why she hid the strange package in the cemetery.

Regardless of all the unanswered questions the facts remain the same, that there is so much I didn't know. The wedding of my parents went off well enough and the first year of their marriage was incredibly happy, but as the years started to add up there wasn't a sign of her getting pregnant. Her mood turns sour at the rumors of her being cursed have grown yet again. Between the thoughts of her inability to produce a son for not only her love, but also to complete the prophesy. It is the dark whispers that since she is a** demon** the ability to create life with a **'normal human'** has been denied to her.

What drivel superstitious fools believe when their fear controls their mouths? After everything I have read so far there is still no clue as to why Folken's fate could not have been the one foretold and somehow I took what was rightfully his. He should have been King. I love my people and will always put them first, but how is that fair to Hitomi? Doesn't she deserve better? She should be the first priority.

Somehow without even intending to I find myself standing outside her door. Still slick with cooling sweat I'm not exactly at my best, but knowing just as I am drawn to the strange girl from the mystic moon… I owe her. Not only my life, but my past, and now my future. I have to set things right even if the words don't come smoothly.

I raise my hand to knock but halt before making contact. What do I say? What do I want from her after all this? What can I do for her at this point? How did we get so twisted, and how do we get back to those short lived moments of understanding and mutual support?

The door opens and I still stand frozen awkwardly not sure what to say now that I am face to face with Hitomi with no witnesses around to start whispering. Noticing my still upraised hand I let it drop to my side while I take her in with my eyes.

At seven months her belly sticks out solidly even with the lose shirts and stretchy pants she wears from her world. I don't know if it's a comfort thing but she is resistant to changing her wardrobe to conform to the dress here. There has always been odd looks at her strange clothing but it seems to have come to mean more to Hitomi now, to not give up the small remainders of her old life. I can't blame her for that either. Her honey colored hair is slightly longer, but just enough to curl around her ears. Large green eyes meet mine in a stubborn almost icy way. What have I done to change the sweetly naïve, open honest, girl I met what feels like a life time ago.

"What do you want Van? It's late." She states coolly still holding the door as if she can't decide if she should slam it in my face.

"I need to talk to you." I sigh still trying to find the words.

"Well I don't want to talk to you." Hitomi starts to close the solid door in my face but as my temper spikes, and I don't give her the opportunity.

**"Enough!"** Slamming my hand against the wood I push back slightly, just enough to startle the girl into taking a step back. Seizing the opportunity I close the gap sliding into the room and shutting the door after me. For the first time in almost a whole month we are completely alone and I find there are so many things built up I have to say… not all of them exactly nice. "I've had just about all I can handle Hitomi. You've made it quite clear that this isn't what you wanted, and I don't blame you, but can't you see that you aren't the only one **hurt** here?!"

Taking a deep breath I leaned back against the door trying not to crowd her and regain some of my senses. "In the time since you've been here with me I might as well have left you home for how far you have distanced yourself. That one month I've wondered why I bothered at all. You don't want any of this… not being queen, the extra responsibility, or even _me_…" I trailed off losing steam.

Her bright eyes had softened, but before she can speak I continue needing to finish while I have the chance. "I don't know where we went wrong, but I love you Hitomi. Every day after I sent you home I thought only of wanting to be by your side, but knowing that as long as you were safe and happy... even if I missed you I could be happy too. Its always been you for me even before I could admit my feelings. This should be our chance to finally be happy together, not a greater distance between us. I can't change who I am and I would have hoped you would never ask me to-."

So wrapped up in my speech I hadn't noticed Hitomi stepping closer to me until she placed her finger tips gently against my mouth, silencing me. "Can I talk now?" She asked softly. I can just nod afraid to break the moment that was growing warmly between us.

"Maybe I have been unfair pushing you away, but I have been alone in _this_…" She paused placing a hand protectively yet tenderly on her rounded belly. "Long enough that letting anyone in even you Van seems like a huge leap. I've never dreamt of being swept off into a fairytale ending where the charming royal marries the poor normal girl and happily ever after ends their story."

She pauses but it was my turn to listen so I let her continue uninterrupted. "Being **King** is part of who you are Van… and I would never ask you to give up your country… a country you lost once and I saw how it almost _destroyed_ you. Van it took me too long to sort out my feelings in the past, but even though I love you it is hard not to feel like I've rushed in yet again and made more trouble then was necessary." She twisted the fabric of her long shirt with nervous fingers. "I just don't want to feel **trapped** anymore and I want us to stop blaming each other and ourselves. Can we start over please?"

This is my Hitomi, with the warm eyes and unsure tenderness. "I want nothing more." Holding out my hand I started with a slightly nervous smile. "My name is Van, former pilot of the Escaflowne and King of Fanelia."

With a small laugh she took my out stretched hand and placed it on her belly. "I think we've met before." This amazing girl smiled brightly at me. "I'm Hitomi and though I have visions... I never liked being called a Seer. I'm just Hitomi even though it looks like I'll be queen soon, without having to read the future."

There was a small yet solid movement against my hand. I knelt in front of her placing my forehead to her warm skin and the child living within. Closing my eyes I felt a closeness like no other. "It is nice to meet you both." Hitomi's hand came to rest on my hair and I knew then that we would be alright after all.

We could get through anything as long as we did it together. "Stay here tonight?" She asked tentatively

I can't help smiling. "Only if there I can share with you something that has become special to me."

* * *

><p>We spent the night talking and reading excerpts from mother's diary. Hitomi and I had a lot to catch up on together.<p>

_**Purple 17**__**th**__** Moon**_

_**I am tired beyond anything I could have ever thought possible but also so full of joy I can't sleep. My son sleeps, his little body a warm comfort against my skin. I feel every soft breath and strong heartbeat as if it were a part of my very soul. My Folken. **_

_**It has been five years since I first met my love Goau. There were times where it felt like this day would never happen. All the sadness and darkness has been washed away from me the moment I saw this sweet little face. Goau beamed brightly when he held his son for the first time. Even without the weight of fate I feel as if my whole life was leading up to this moment.**_

_**Green 18**__**th**__** Moon**_

_**Folken is just a month old and already the high expectations are piling up on his tiny shoulders. Officially declared heir to the Fanelian throne he has no way to know that as crown prince the whole country looks at his every move. I want to hide him from the world but know protecting him too much will just make him weak to the darkness coming. Deep down I can feel it coming and that scares me. Please Gods protect Folken.**_

_**White 12th**__** Moon**_

_**Oh cruel fate why must you twist us so. Thinking the bright spring day would be good for my sweet boy I took him for a walk through the gardens. His tiny hands reached for the soft petals of a flowers when I first saw her. A vision or apparition maybe but I knew her to be there even though the guards swear no outsiders could have gained access to the grounds.**_

_**A slight but pretty girl, of no more than fifteen moons with short cropped light brown hair, large green eyes, and odd clothing appeared to me amongst the flowers.**_

"_**He is not the one." She spoke simply almost sadly. "Folken, Poor Folken will fail at everything he tries. He will not slay the dragon. He will not be King. He will NOT save the world. He will not live to see the new world at peace."**_

"_**Who are you?!" I demanded clutching my small son tightly to my chest as if I could protect him from the dark words she tells me.**_

"_**Who I am doesn't matter 'yet'." She sighed eyes sad the girl holds out a pink pendent one I recognize belonging to my people. The Atlantian stone swings gracefully from her slender fingers. "Your second son will save me and the world. He will be 'the dragon' born on this day ten years from now. Have faith the wheel of fate still turns." **_

_**With that her presence was gone, and I was left standing holding my whimpering infant. The day suddenly felt cold and dark. The truth rang in her words even if I would never want to believe that horrible future.**_

I stop reading shocked. Mother can't be talking about Hitomi… can she? The description matches exactly to the girl now asleep with her head on my chest. I had continued reading after her eyes shut peacefully, and only happiness had kept me awake. How is it possible? Even if you accounted for the time difference we know Hitomi's grandmother visited Gaia when Allen was around ten years old so when Folken was born Hitomi didn't even exist. The girl Mother describes is my Hitomi from the war. It has to be. She even predicted the exact day of my birth White 12th moon less then two months after Folken's tenth birthday.

Obviously Hitomi has no memory of appearing to Mother at any time, but then again she once told me that my mother had appeared to her in the mystic valley looking exactly as she did when I was five, when she disappeared into the forest after Folken. Hell I saw her myself right before we were transported to Zaibach. She hadn't aged a day from my childhood. I took it to be her soul... a sign that she was truly dead. The ties of fate twist tighter around us.

* * *

><p>The next morning when Hitomi wakes smiling and refreshed I decide that she doesn't need to know the description of the vision. The fact<strong> that<strong> it happened is more important than **who** might have foretold Folken's grizzly fate.

I can't give her something else to worry about right now. We have enough to deal with excluding strange happenings from the past. Preparing for the day we attend breakfast and I know the difference between us has been noted by those sharp enough to read our body language and subtle changes. Merle being one of those people, she has been carefully observing us since Hitomi's return.

The pink haired trouble maker saunters over to us with mischief on her face and a verbal jab on the tip of her tongue. I give her a sharp look though I know how little good it will do if Merle plans on trying to rile Hitomi up.

"Finely **kissed** and made up did you?" She smirks watching the blush rise on Hitomi's cheeks.

"I don't see how it's any of your business." Hitomi stated crossing her arms over her chest defensively. Only accentuating her protruding belly and making the cat-girl grin knowing she hit a nerve.

"I would warn you two about keeping your hands off each other but I see I'm too** late**." She grinned watching as even my face begins to burn.

"Merle." I warn.

"Chill Van I can fight my own battles." Hitomi shoots at me before turning on my sister. "Don't be too sore about it Merle, but it's a good thing he loves me. I can't imagine Van ever wanting to have kittens with you."

Shocked I glance around to see if anyone over heard this outrageous conversation.

Suddenly Merle bursts out laughing loudly. Drawing attention that we hadn't gathered until now. Tears of laughter rolling down her stripped cheeks. "But can't you just see babies with **Wings** and **Cat Ears**!" She bursts out before throwing her arms around Hitomi is a warm hug. "Good to have you back you weirdo."

The girls both grin as they hug like long lost friends, and not two girls who had been actively avoiding each other until this moment. Gods what have I gotten myself into.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day pasted pleasantly enough. Hitomi hadn't made much of an effort to explore the castle or town until now as if she were just a temporary guest and not a future ruler. She absorbed every detail and fact with fresh eyes and enthusiasm. It was during the early afternoon that we ran into the next test of our newly established relationship.<p>

Walking the grounds together we were inspecting the training yard where several guards practiced to maintain various skills; hand to hand combat, weapon drills, and even some light melif' fighting.

"We are experiencing a time of peace, but there is no point to let ourselves be caught unaware again." I explain as she watches a bout between two armored units. One using a sword and shield while the other dared to use the trickier less common duel sword combo.

"Do you ever fight like this?" Hitomi asks watching as the Two-Sword user darts forward strongly pushing back its opponent with fast hard attacks.

"Sometimes, mostly I practice alone." I speak clearly letting my voice be carried along with the nostalgic clash of metal on metal. "If I do participate like this I borrow a standard suit and it is mainly for fun. Escaflowne shouldn't ever be awoken again. Not in my lifetime or even our children's time I pray."

"I hated the violence, danger, and pain... but there was always something almost beautiful about you when you fought." Hitomi spoke clearly still watching the armors battle. "I guess I always kind of admired your strength."

She turned to me with a smile that took my breath away. "I was always so happy to see you win since I knew how hard you fought to get where you were. Not that I wanted you to hurt anyone, but when you would emerge victorious I knew you were safe… and sometimes that is all that mattered deep down."

I was so drawn to her words I completely forgot about the Melif duel taking place on the field in front of us. That was until the Shield-User fell sending a large cloud of dust out that bit roughly at our legs. The Two-Sword armor placed the tip of one sword on the energist and the other at the helm of it's opponent confidently.

Hitomi clapped along with the other watching guards. "Can I meet the fighters?" She asks almost shyly.

"I think they would be honored." I nod taking her hand and leading her along the safest path towards the two armors.

Stepping back the Two-Sword sheaths it's weapons with a flourish. The fallen Melif opens first where a scruffy muscled guard grunts "Show off." at the winner as he descends to check the damage on his unit. The other melif opens to reveal a tall women with a long golden-brown braid draped down her back and bare arms showing elaborate ink permanently decorating the skin. She bowed to her opposite before gracefully leaping from the winning armor with a grin.

This might not be such a good idea I thought as we closed the gap to the fighters. The other guards had also paused in their drills at our approach. The fighters dropped to their knees. Normally they give me a respectful salute since it is not unusual for me to make my way out to see them, and as King I am also their military commander. Hitomi is the reason for the elaborate show of respect.

I know it makes her uncomfortable, but it is just another fact of life here. Once they become more comfortable a simple bow will do, but this is a rarity for them.

Hitomi looks to me but I just shrug. They are kneeling before her not me. I can't tell them to raise that would be rude to them and to her.

"Please stand." Hitomi directs with a confidence that makes me proud. "I would just like to congratulate the winner and say what an interesting fight it was to watch."

Everyone stands and the winner steps forward placing a hand over her heart she gives Hitomi a slight bow. "The honor was mine."

"What is your name?" Hitomi asks addressing the fighter directly.

"Medina, My lady." She gives Hitomi a small smile. "I was honored when the King allowed me to immigrate to Fanelia after the war."

Recognition brightened Hitomi's emerald eyes, as she turned to me lowering her voice so it didn't carry. "The other draconian you told me about?"

I nodded to her question.

"I thought you said their wings were out?" She questioned innocently.

The woman heard her of course. "I am honored the King spoke of me but as you can see my wings are gone."

"I don't understand... did you figure out how to put them away like Van can?" My sweet girl asked and I knew this wouldn't end well.

"Not exactly." The guard spoke calmly. "Let me show you." She turned away from us dropping what little armor she wore to the ground. In one swift movement she pulled the back of her undershirt up and over her head without shame. Keeping her front covered, her lean toned back was bare except for the two horrific mounds of scar tissue over her shoulder blades where bright wings would never again sprout.

Hitomi took a step back her hands over her mouth in wordless shock and horror.

"Not everyone can be as excepting as you my lady." Medina dropped the fabric covering her scars once more.

Even though the terrible sight was gone the damage was done. I knew this night that my poor Hitomi would be haunted by dreams of crying children with butchered wings.

**To be continued…**

**AN- Well?! What did you think! There was my cameo for this story. I've been a teacher, a fighter, a baker, and now a guard. Not Sure what I will be in Last Person On Earth but it is always fun to find a spot for my cameo without letting her take over like my first story. So Now Van knows that it wasn't Folken who would save the world. I did throw in the twist with Hitomi being the seer that told Varie about Folken's failures. A little action, some fluff, and a whole load of drama. I can't wait to continue this I really want to shock a few of you. Please review!**

**-Banryuu**

***P.S- Edited I realized I said Hitomi was a child when Folken was born since I did straight math without accounting for the time changes. Think about it... Hitomi's grandmother met Allen's father somewhere around where Allen was 10... when Allen was ten Van was 5 When Van was five Folken lost his arm was presumed dead and Varied disappeared. Could it have been the power of that tragic chain of events that drew Hitomi's Grandmother but it wasn't time yet so she was sent back. Ten years later on Gaia was something like 40 years on Earth and this time Hitomi was taken... so on so forth. Ramble concluded. **


	6. Regret

**Sorry for the delay. This chapter and the next have both been done for a while... but I have been putting off self-editing since my Beta reader does a far better job. Unfortunately real life gets in the way with my obsession, so it looks like I might be on my own to finish this story. **

**I know most people (Beta included) prefer my other on running story Last Person on Earth, but it was put on hold until this one was completed. I understand this one isn't nearly as fun or exciting, but it does get rather interesting... At the end of this chapter actually. **

**So here is the game plan there are three chapters and a possible epilogue that will finish this story. Every weekend for the next three weekends I will post a chapter.**

**(Remember this is all tentative to editing and work blah blah BS. If I do delay a post you are welcomed to send me a nasty gram. At least then I might get a review and know people out there still care as much as I do.)**

**Today the 12****th****- Chapter 6. **

**Friday or Saturday-18****th**** or 19****th**** –Chapter 7 (Hitomi's View) **

**Friday the 25****th****- Chapter 8 (Story Line Completion) Merry X-mas**

**Friday the 1****st**** of 2016- (Possible) Epilogue/Chapter 9 **

**Happy Holidays! My gift to you! You've waited long enough!**

Chapter 6- Regret

One week. It is hard to believe I will be married in just one week. Since our talk Hitomi and I have been doing much better. Things aren't exactly perfect between us but at this point I wouldn't expect them to be. She is still resistant to getting married, but as far as I can tell it is more from the stigma on her world of people getting married 'too young' or as she called it a 'shotgun wedding' whatever that means.

Allen and the others should start arriving tomorrow and that adds a whole different layer of stress. Our friends received invitations of course, but we decided to leave out a crucial detail from the message. One they are sure to notice right away. Hitomi says it will be all right, but I'm not so sure about that, our chivalrous friend is either going to try and kill me… or at the very least hull off and hit me. Not that he will be out of line entirely… I'm just not looking forward to the altercation.

Thinking back on Allen and Hitomi during the war I can't help feeling a little smug that once the silly crush wore off... she chose me. It caused me so much pain back then seeing how she blushed and fawned over the blond knight. What girl would chose a skinny, wild, rough kid like me when Allen stood there making everything look so easy? So self-assured and debonair, yet how childish of me to be jealous. When he proposed to Hitomi I felt sick, but it was everything she wanted… or so I had thought. I just wanted her to be happy. I still feel that way though my position sometimes makes it hard to show.

Is she happy? Is this a life she would have chosen if given a chance? Would she have been better off accepting Allen's proposal?

Probably not. No one had to tell me, but I knew Chid was Allen's son. Who didn't see that small blond child and know the dark swarthy Duke couldn't possibly be his father? A sour thought finds me… I am dark as well if my child was born fair I'd like to think I'd know, and most likely kill Allen. Then again the poor Duke probably did know; he just found it in himself to love the innocent child regardless. Would I be able to do such a thing if I were in that situation?

Speculating on such a thoughts won't change that I trust Hitomi, and I love our child already. Nothing could alter that fact.

A rough cough brings me out of my reverie. Coming back to my senses and the fact that I sit at the head of a conference table surrounded by my advisors. Yurizen gives me a stern look knowing I have been anywhere but in this room listening to details still needing to be addressed before the… wedding I think… I haven't exactly been listening.

"Basram has conveyed regret that they will have to send a lower level dignitary as the royal family is unavailable on such short notice." Though Advisor Rezil is talking it is the older man who has my eye. Yurizen darts his eyes to the door signaling me to call a premature end to this meeting, and for that I am grateful.

I raise one hand silencing Rezil before he can continue, as politely as possible of course. "Thank you for the update, but I call for a break. We can continue this discussion after lunch."

A mixture of relief and confusion spread through the group of men in attendance. I'm sure some of them have been even less focused on the discussion then me. The nearer the event looms the more talk I must sit though each day. Daily matters of managing affairs of state have been pushed aside in favor of the 'wedding of the century'. The more useless details fretted over… the more I start to side with Hitomi and the building dread. Shouldn't this day be about us and our love not making some random visitor from Basram or Cesario happy by the spectacle? When did this become about proving that Fanelia is as 'rich' and 'extravagant' as other larger countries?

I stand and they stand. As King I am supposed to enter the room last and leave first. These archaic rules dictate my life and the interactions I have with others, at least formally. Things were so much simpler before. When I was a king in title and blood only. With no country to rule or people that watch my every move. I could fight with a passion that is unseemly in my current position. I no longer fight my battles physically, but the war didn't end in one day. There are still effects that ripple through the eight countries like a stone dropped into still water.

These are the topics we should be discussing not what type of flowers with be over flowing each table or the color of silk draped over everything that doesn't move quick enough.

I would pause just outside the door and wait for Yurizen, but the guards snap to attention at my appearance. I would normally enforce a more relaxed environment from my staff, but the upcoming event has everyone standing on formalities, even me.

Turing instead towards the section of the rebuilt castle that houses my rooms and very shortly _the rest_ of the Fanelian royal family. There is still some time before the noon meal is served and I find the best use of that time might be to retreat into my rooms and just relax with a little peace for a while. No plans. No drama. No expectations. No rules. Just me and the inside of my eyelids.

Walking past empty rooms awaiting their guests I began to hear voices carry down the hall and noticed the door to my fiancée's room is slightly open. It is the telltale voice of Merle that catches my attention. "You know Hitomi I think you were right after all. This is a really bad idea." That has my full attention, and I move closer… not that I plan to eavesdrop.

"Oh my God! This is terrible Merle what am I going to do?" Hitomi questioned her voice sounding oddly strained. I knew she was resistant to the wedding, but this sounded way worse then I'd thought.

"The only thing you can do." The cat-girl stated sounding both wise and mocking at the same time. "Burn it."

Startled I pushed into the room without thinking. Somehow my body acted without letting my mind catch up… it must have thought there was a dangerous situation I needed to protect her from. I find myself greeted by two sets of very wide eyes and an unobstructed view of a massive amount of white fabric. Layers of lace, ribbons, and tulle fail to hide Hitomi's new form. The high collar and long sleeves only help to appear as if the monstrous dress is trying to consume the poor girl.

We stare at each other at a loss for words. That is until Merle losses it, laughing so hard she is almost bent over. "Van just saw the snow beast for the first time!" She cackled with glee only adding to Hitomi's mortification. "I told her white was a lie and a bad idea!"

"Merle!" I snapped the same time Hitomi yelled "Brat!"

Our eyes met and words seemed to escape me. It's true the dress was awful but it was inconsequential, the fact still remained that Hitomi was wearing a wedding dress. She wasn't running away but meeting this head on, and that alone filled me with hope.

Breaking eye contact first Hitomi gripped handfuls of the excessive fabric tightly. "It's bad luck to see the bride in the dress before the wedding." Hitomi stated.

"I believe we make our own luck." I responded quickly receiving a small but earnest smile in return.

"Well to be on the fair side now we really do have to destroy this terrible thing."

As much as I wanted to agree with her the hours of rushed planning and the stress to pretend that this was all intentional pushed different words out of my mouth. "Don't be ridiculous. It's taken three seamstresses hours of extra work to even get this far. There is no time to be childish."

The moment the words were spoken I regretted it entirely. The playful banter gone… frozen into a hard expression I couldn't entirely read, but hurt deep down.

"I'm tired you should go." Hitomi deadpanned her eyes downcast and hands clenched at her sides.

I wanted to apologize. To take back the hurtful words and try to make things right, but I didn't know how and the silence stretched between us painfully.

Merle's large eyes pleaded with me to fix things. Instead I turned and left as instructed. Speaking the words out loud seem impossible. I fear only that I will make things worse as has been the case more often than not. You would think that after everything we went through during the war and our very brief period of happiness and understanding that I would have learned to articulate my actual thoughts better.

I feel someone at my back as I leave the room. Knowing it was my sister didn't help. A clawed hand came down hard on my shoulder and though I could have easily shrugged her off instead I let myself be turned around.

"Are you **insane** or just** stupid**?!" The Neko hissed through gritted teeth. "Are you **trying** to scare Hitomi away Lord Van?"

How do I explain that I am starting to dread this as much as Hitomi? Maybe not for the same reasons as her… since I still don't know what those are, but for the spectacle this 'wedding' is turning into. I'm not allowed to feel that way as king. "I know but there isn't any time-"

Merle cut me off swiftly and angrily. "Any time?" Her temper flared. "**To what!** Make her feel the tiniest bit less self-conscious?** Pretend** that you care?"

"**I care!**" I growled back in automatic response, but then the words failed me yet again. "I just can't…"

"Oh Lord Van, you still don't know how to talk to girls." Merle shook her brightly colored head sadly, as if I should know better by now.

Then again I guess I did. "I should go apologize shouldn't I?"

"**Damn **right you should!" She declared hands on hips and chin high. "I won't always be waiting around to help you clean up your messes Lord Van."

With the accurate last shot the cat-girl turned to leave me to pull the foot out of my mouth on my own. An idea formed quickly and I called out before I could rethink the action. "Wait! Merle could you do me a favor?"

Intrigued she paused. "It had **better **be good."

"Do you remember the seamstress in town that only makes traditional Fanelian clothing?" The moment I said the words she knew exactly what I was thinking and the more of my plan I explained the larger her grin became. Before I had even finished talking Merle bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet ready to spring into action.

Once she took off down the hall I turned back too Hitomi's door. Hesitantly I knocked.

No response.

Come to think of it lately Hitomi always opens the door first as if she knows of my intentions the moment before I do. Not quite sure how far that gift extends I carefully push the door open fully expecting her to be standing there prepared to throw something at me or yell either are likely options.

Instead I am greeted by a silent empty room. Through the open doors I can tell the Hitomi shaped lump under the cover spoke the truth. Nearing the eighth month of her pregnancy, all the energy she once seemed to have has drained away, and has been replaced with new aches and an almost constant exhaustion. Walking across the sitting room I silently note the awful excuse for a wedding dress has been hung up with care. With all the alterations it's hard to tell the original design's origin, Asturian or possibly Cesarian… regardless it was never meant to look good on a woman in Hitomi's condition. Something with a high waist and loser skirts would be not only more comfortable but more ascetically pleasing. Something traditional. Something Fanelian.

Upon reaching Hitomi's still form I again am at a loss of what to do. She needs any rest she can get at this point as the poor girl is becoming more uncomfortable at an increasing rate. Then again I can't leave things as they are.

Before I can decide what to do Hitomi speaks softly. "I'm not really mad anymore." I relax a little but still don't know exactly what I should be doing. "I figure Merle yelled at you enough for me." The barest hint of a smile warms my heart and starts to loosen the knots living in my stomach.

I crouch next to the bed so that we are at the same level. "You are still allowed to say I've behaved like an ass."

That smile I crave widens little more. "Oh I'm sure I'll have plenty of chances for that in the future. I think I can let this one pass." Her eyes droop slightly even as she speaks. "I wasn't making up the tired part to get rid of you though."

"I know." I sigh brushing soft strands of hair out of her face. "Do you mind if I sit in here while you sleep Hitomi?"

She shook her head slightly snuggling deeper into the covers. "No, I'd like that."

Before I've even settled into a nearby chair, Hitomi is already asleep. Deep even breathing and a worry free expression softens her features. Finding myself with a few moments of silent free time I turn to my favorite distraction as of late, Mother's diary.

Though the passages record mostly daily life and milestones in Folken's early years I feel as if a whole new world has opened up for me. One where mother and father age together, loving each other in an understanding yet passionate way. A Folken not consumed by dark politics and old scars. Had father not died would my childhood have been like Folken's? Warm, happy, whole, and fully supported... but I will never know.

I don't really remember my father well. Folken was the one who read me bed time stories, played with and taught me. Then he too was gone... followed quickly by mother. All I had left was Balgus and Merle, suddenly and without warning my childhood ended at five years old. Would the same thing happen to my child if I died young? Would Hitomi be strong and carry on without me or could she become a sad shadow fading away in plain sight.

No, Hitomi is strong. Stronger than anyone even I will ever know. As much as I hate to admit it she was prepared to have the child alone with minimal support of her family. That's a hard life on any world.

Protecting the baby. Protecting Fanelia. Protecting Hitomi. The weight bears down on me heavily.

Hitomi... since the first vision Mother had of the green-eyed girl I have kept the passages more and more to myself. I read her bits and pieces, but I have to be careful not to let her know of the prophesy she foretold. I have no idea how much it could upset her... and now would be the worst possible time for that.

On that thought I crack open the age worn pages and find the next section.

_**Pink 28th Moon,**_

_**How is this possible? I am not quite so young anymore and Goau is nearly forty five moons. We have been together more than fourteen years, and yet now it seems I am with child yet again. Five years I struggled to have Folken and only months ago my smart boy turned nine moons. By the time this child is born Folken will be ten and… and this is the child that was foretold twice now.**_

_**It has to be. It has been so long I have nearly forgotten that dreadful vision. Swearing the girl's words to be a bad dream or a miss remembered story. It all comes back to me now. Every detail of her comes back into sharp focus; large green eyes, short sandy blond hair, strange short skirted outfit, and the pendent. **_

_**A dracomian pendent. I don't even own one anymore. When I left the village I was required to turn over the powerful stone to the town elder, after it was ceremoniously cleansed the stone would be given to my family for burial. A funeral for a necklace since my departure signaled my 'death' to them and they would have no body to lay to rest to ease their grief.**_

_**Will I feel such pain and loss if the girl's dream were to come true? No, I will not let that happen. Folken will succeed and have a bright future. This child is an extra blessing and nothing more. **_

_**Gold 4**__**th**__** Moon,**_

_**At about six months pregnant the strength of this child's movements feel so much stronger than Folken's seemed to be at this time. Every child is different.**_

_**Goau likes to call this little one "His Little Fighter" he says the baby can't wait to face the world.**_

_**Funny somedays I feel the opposite, as if only I could protect my babies from the world forever.**_

_**Purple 18**__**th**__** Moon,**_

_**Yesterday was Folken's tenth birthday. As crown prince the party was impressive. Almost too much in my opinion, but these advisors think pomp and decadence is a sign to other countries that we Fanelia are a prosperous strong country… a force to be reckoned with. I think that will turn out very badly for us in the future. **_

_**Coming back to the party… no expense was spared, I'd be shocked if a royal wedding for my son wouldn't break the bookkeepers' hearts. As a ten year old boy all Folken really wanted was a few fun games, some presents to unwrap, and eating far too many sweets then is probably healthy. All that was achieved in the first 15minutes of the five hour event. **_

_**At one point Folken came running over to hug me, so I asked if he had gotten everything he wanted. He shook his head sending light colored hair flying. "No, All I really wanted was to get a little brother to play with."**_

"_**Well you will have to wait on that." I smiled down on him, as he though tall for his age hugged my belly. "The little brother will be here sooner then we all think, but he won't be big enough to play with for some time."**_

"_**I'm okay with that." He grinned widely up at me. "Then I will just have to love him until he can love and play with me back."**_

_**White 12**__**th**__** Moon**_

_**The pains started yesterday. And though it was about a week sooner than the midwives predicted, my second son came swiftly screaming into this world early this morning. Trying to predict when a child will come is like trying to guess the mood of the moons. A nice thought but changes nothing. Babies come when they are ready and not a moment sooner.**_

_**As soon as the tiny boy and I were cleaned up Goau came bursting into the room followed closely by a curious Folken. **_

"_**Is everything…" He trailed off unsure for possibly the first time in the king's forty five moons.**_

"_**Yes, come see for yourself." I spoke softly urging my loving husband to come take the swaddled infant. **_

_**Gently he took the child with the skilled hands of one that would never forget the proper way to hold an infant. Thinking on the first time Goau held Folken, he was so nervous as if his large hands would hurt or even drop the small baby in his arms. None of that fear was present now as he held the new being. **_

"_**IT'S a Boy! A Healthy Boy." He chuckled holding the fussing child up, a son with a thick head of raven hair. "Look Folken it's your little brother." He spoke to the older boy looking on with curious eyes. **_

"_**What is his name father?" Folken asked**_

"_**Van." Goau declared beaming proudly. The tiny child suddenly grinned widely as is approving of the choice of name. "Van Fanel!"**_

_**As my husband spoke the name my second son would carry his whole life... I saw her. Though I had convinced myself it was all a terrible dream… I knew then how wrong I was. She smiled brightly at the bundle in Goau's arms, though I knew I was the only one that could see her. Maybe not the only one as Van had gone quiet at her presence. **_

_**His eyes barely open and he could see 'her'!**_

"_**My name is Hitomi, Hitomi Kanzaki. It is nice to finally meet you Van." With that innocent greeting she was gone. Van began crying again, and I knew… this was just the beginning. I will do everything in my power to keep her horrible warning from coming true. Folken will not fail, and Van will not have the weight of the world on his tiny shoulders. **_

Shocked I can't keep myself from reading that last passage over and over again. No matter how many times I read it… it still doesn't make any sense. The girl mother saw and spoke of was definitely Hitomi. My Hitomi who is currently asleep in the middle of the day from the strain of carrying my child.

She can't know of this. Speculation is one thing, but her whole name clearly spelled out. There is no way that mother could have known… Hell Hitomi's grandmother hadn't even visited yet. It would be at least another five years our time. Five years… that's when something clicks. When I was five moons old Folken failed to kill the dragon and was thought dead. What if Hitomi's grandmother was supposed to save Folken as Hitomi saved me. If Folken had been warned he wouldn't have been injured or found by Zaibach. He was the master behind some of the best weapons against us, and the informant that lead to Fanelia's destruction. The whole war could have been stalled ten years before it ever would have happened.

Instead she was transported to the middle of nowhere and Allen's father. Her visit was so random and so brief since it was a failure. If you count out the theory that Allen's father did more than talk to the strange girl, and that Hitomi is really Allen's niece. Merle is the only one that truly believes that conspiracy even if it is a possibility.

Oh all these twists and turns are making my head spin. Hitomi coming to Mother before she could even exist and all the things that could have been different. Do I really wish for a different fate? An outcome where Folken is whole, alive, and King? A chance that I would have never met Hitomi, piloted the Escaflowne, or lived a life other than spoiled second prince?

A solid knock sounds at the door and I glance quickly at Hitomi's sleeping form. No motion, but I can't risk a second knock waking her right now. I move to the door and open it just enough to step out into the hallway, and into close proximity to a started page.

"What is it?" I ask a bit harsher then intended.

The boy clears is throat nervously. "Your majesty I was sent to inform you that the council meeting has resumed, your presence is requested."

I had completely lost track of time and at this rate any chance at lunch. I had been so absorbed in mother's writing that the rest had faded away. "Thank you. Please inform my advisors that I shall be with them shortly."

With a quick bow he took off down the hall. While I turned back into the room intending to grab the book I left open on my vacated chair and kiss a sleeping Hitomi's forehead before I left.

I was wrong.

Standing there with the book in her hands was a very awake and very angry woman. Hitomi turned on me her eyes flashing. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" She shook the diary at me, though her expression dared me to try and deny what she had read I was never given a chance as she continued. "I know you've been hiding something from me, but never could I have guessed that… I knew I had some strange dreams I couldn't account for… but Van why would you hide this from me?!"

"I didn't want to upset you." I spoke taking a step closer to her, but instead she took a step back.

"**Upset** me?!" She glared and I don't know how much of this was righteous anger and how much if it was her pregnancy moods flaring. "Being rude to me earlier upset me. This is so much worse."

"How is this worse?" I question. "I have no control over what Mother wrote more than seventeen years ago. So now I can offend you personally for the present and that's okay, but reading something about the past is unforgivable."

"No, but hiding things like this from me is." Hitomi tossed the book at me roughly, which I barely caught before she turned away. "Just go to your damn meeting and take that sick diary with you."

Okay now it was my turn to lose my temper "Like hell I will." I grit out letting loose the venom I've been holding in for nearly two months. "Oh, so now you're the only one **allowed to hide things**?!"

Hurt and what looked like regret flashed in her eyes for a moment, but that moment was followed quickly by angry determination. "You know what Van, we worked better when we knew it had to end soon. So let's save ourselves the pain of growing to hate each other, and just call off this farce of a wedding."

This had gone from bad to worse so fast, and yet all the pent up feelings were not worth losing her. So I bit down my next angry retort trying instead to defuse the situation. "Hitomi calm down-" The moment I said those words I knew from the look on her face things had just gotten worse.

"**Calm down!** You haven't seen **angry** yet Van Fanel! How about forget the awful dress, and the awful wedding… while we are at it forget all of this." She threw her hand up in mock defeat before rounding on me one last time. True to form Hitomi yelled at me exactly how she felt with hot tears pooling in her eyes. "You'd be happier living in the **past!** I should have **never** come back."

"You never **wanted** to **come back**!" I shot back quickly turning on her with all the anger and pain I could inflict with my harsh words. "You wouldn't be here if you had **another choice**. If I hadn't shown up would you ever have told me about **my child?!** Or would you have hid him from me, like you **hide **the rest of your feelings?"

"Get out." Two simple words brought me back to reality.

I felt horrible wanting to do anything to take back the awful words and the hurt in her eyes. "Hitomi, I-"

"**Get out**." She stated again, expression hard and stance unwavering.

I felt powerless, so I had to try again. "But I-"

"Get the **hell** out of here Van, or so help me…" Hitomi never finished her threat, but she didn't have to. I could feel the anger rolling off her and knew if I tried to push her again it could be too far.

Having no other defense but to leave I turned to go. All I could say was the truth and hope she could hear the regret in my voice. "I'm sorry… I still love you."

"It's not enough Van." The last words I heard before the door shuts loudly behind me, like the last nail in a coffin. Final.

This can't be it? Hitomi and I have come too far to just go our separate ways now. I think we both knew an explosion of this multitude was bound to happen, but that doesn't fix the rift separating us now. Leaning heavily against the wall outside her door I let my knees go weak sliding down into a crouch and burring my face in my hands. How did we get so twisted and tangled again? Could we ever come back from this?

I guess... I never quite forgave her for not telling me she was pregnant. How could I… there was always something off about her explanation for the big secret from the beginning. The time flow is only an issue if she planned to return to her world. Improved medical care would make sense, but she gave up that fight almost too easily, as if it wasn't the factor that really mattered anyways. Her family and life there, a non-issue as she claimed it would have been better if she hadn't returned when she did. What was really holding her back?

Hitomi spent an entire month mad at me for telling my advisors what anyone could clearly see, but what I really should have done was apologize sooner. Loving someone doesn't mean you know their heart in all things just that you love and support them just the same. Especially on things where you don't see eye to eye.

If maybe I just stopped holding onto hurt and regret then I'd stop pushing her away, when all I really want to do is hold her closer. The diary may have been the catalyst for this explosion of hurtful words... but it wasn't the cause, we have been holding onto every little hurt and pain until the presser built up, destroying us both in the process. I can't lose her again.

My thoughts finally sorted I stood back up prepared to apologize, talk, and finally to forgive. Not quite surprised the door was locked this time, I knocked.

Nothing. "Hitomi, Please talk to me." I called through the solid door. Sure she may need some time to cool off, but letting her stew in the anger and hurt could only turn badly. If I were to set things right between us it had to be now. Not that I couldn't break down the door or more diplomatically go get the key… it is my castle after all. I choose instead the 'less' visible entrance. It is midsummer and the palace windows are kept open to savor the breeze coming through the valley. Long ago Merle taught me how to scale from one window to the next easily and with little to no danger. So I do just that.

Entering my room I go to the window with the least distance to travel and climb deftly onto the railing. These rooms face the forest side and not the city so the chance I will be spotted and cause alarm is greatly decreased. Reaching up to the hard blue tiles that form the roof edge and the slight overhang that Merle so deftly uses to transfers the roof line, I grip tightly using the power in my upper-arms and core to pull myself up and over in one smooth motion. I am not quite as adept as the cat-girl but my years or training and fighting experience put me as a close second physically. Keeping low for better balance I transverse the ledge with expert movements and line myself up with the nearest window leading into Hitomi's room.

I have been asked why Hitomi and I don't just share chambers when propriety has already gone out the window so to speak, but I didn't want to push Hitomi more than she was comfortable… and truthfully she has been 'comfortable' so rarely since returning.

I swing down gracefully from the roof edge like an acrobat on a trapeze. As sudden of an entrance as this is I prepare to call out to the girl before intruding into her space and possibly scaring her, but what I see freezes me in place. Her bag is fully packed and sitting ready to go by the door. What is worse than that, is that Hitomi sits on the edge of her bed with a set of very familiar cards spread out in front of her. The tarot cards tell a story I can't read, but the determined look on her face is plain as day,

Swinging deftly into the room the sound of my feet landing breaks whatever concentration she was holding. Startled one hand goes to her chest while the other scrambles to collect the colorfully deceiving cards.

"Van?!" She glances at the cards once more before facing my approach. "I thought I told you to go."

"You did, but I'm back now." I grit out stalking towards her.

"You scared me half to death." She looks guilty not angry and my blood boils for it.

"Why? Were you doing something you shouldn't?" I question already knowing the answer.

"Don't be unreasonable-" Now it was my turn to cut her off. The anger felt good and for that I am ashamed.

"**Hypocrite**." I fling the word at her waiting to see if she raises to the bait, but secretly hopping I am wrong.

I'm not. "How **dare** you!" She counters clutching the cards tightly. "First you insult me, then you hide things from me, and now you come barging in here like-"

"Like I own the place?" I finish for her. I can see it hits the mark from her flinch. "How about that you **hide** things from me, push **me **away, insult me, and I am just supposed to take it like everything is always my fault Hitomi!"

She opens her mouth to argue or even deny it but I don't give her a chance, instead I continue on my tirade. "I'm the one living in the past when you are sitting here trying to change the future!"

"I don't have to take this from you." She stands up as gracefully as her large belly will allow… which means not at all.

I wish I was done wounding her with my words, but I was not. "**Fine**! Go!** Run away** like you always do!"

That freezes her in place. "You can't possibly mean that Van."

"When things get too hard you take off. Call it quits and run to safety. Don't even try to deny it." My hair shadows my eyes darkly and I must look like a man possessed, but I can't stop now as the venomous words escape with the lash of my temper. "You know what if that is what you want so badly… then** leave**! Run back home to the life I **'ruined'**, but not yet. You can think I'm a monster, but you are not taking my child away from me. If you want to run Hitomi then so be it, but the last Fanel will stay here with me. Even if I have to lock you in this damn room until he is born." With my threat I snatched the cards away from her and toss them out the open window. The wind grabs them hungrily, quickly sweeping the tarot away like colorful feathers flying through the air.

I hadn't realized what I was doing… it all just happened so fast. As horrible as I was to Hitomi it was a terrible and direct result of not only losing her but the baby as well. A child I hadn't known existed months ago, but craved like a missing part of myself. A family. One I was about to lose and that scared be more than I ever thought possible.

What have I done?

The fear and anger replaced instantly by regret I look at Hitiomi and my world shatters. I was terrible to her, and for that I have lost her. I can see it clearly in her emerald eyes. I wanted her to yell, to scream that her grandmother had given her those cards, and with the pendent around my neck it was the last thing she had of the woman. I wanted her to hit me. Instead Hitomi silently grabbed her bag unlocked the door and left.

What good would chasing after her do now? Turning the pain inward I grabbed the nearest thing I could, a vase I think, and threw it against the far wall with everything I had just to keep from screaming. The loud crash and symphony of raining porcelain shards did nothing to relieve the anger and frustration I bore myself. It didn't help, so I grabbed the next thing off the small writing desk and threw it as well. The blue journal smacked with a dull thud pages splayed, a single paper escaped catching my attention.

Stalking darkly over to the damaged book I snatched the paper up from the growing pile of destruction. The words were large and written carefully as if the author was not quite fluent, but wanted their intentions to be clear. It was then that I realized the blue book belonged to Hitomi, it was all her memories and theories about the first trip to Gaia. Then the page I held was written by her, but somehow in may language. Hitomi had been teaching herself to read and write secretly.

I can picture her with her eyes bright and hand on one hip. "What kind of Queen can't even read a simple sign? Imagine if I walked into the wrong bathroom in public."

Sitting down I roughly try to smooth the crinkles out of the page and begin to read.

_**Dear Van,**_

_**If you are reading this then I'm sorry. I wasn't as strong as I've pretended. I hope one day you can forgive me, but I can't be everything you need me to be. I still love you... I always will. It's just that the more I am with you the less I like who I have become, and I can't pretend anymore. I don't know the girl who looks out of the mirror at me anymore.**_

_**She is afraid all the time. She hates... I've never hated a thing or person in my life. She is untrusting and unforgiving... and petty. I can't tell how much of these moods are from the hormones or if the worry I constantly hold in is changing me for the worse. **_

_**I don't know what finally set me off but I'm sure something will. This wedding as rushed as it is feels like a weight around my neck. I feel trapped all the time and that makes me defensive. Our wedding should be a happy time... but I fear it will become a disaster, one we both regret.**_

_**You don't deserve the blame I place on you or the hurt I am bound to cause. Van, you hurt me too though. It's like we can't trust each other anymore, and the hope and expectation I constantly see in your eyes kills me a little more every day.**_

_**I know you might feel that I've taken your future with me, but you are strong and have to move on. I will raise our son as best as I can and if he chooses to return to Gaia one day I hope that you will be there for him, like you have always been there for me. Until then know that I consider myself very lucky to not only carry a piece of you in my heart... but soon enough in my arms as well.**_

_**With Love and Regret**_

_**Hitomi**_

I didn't know that I had started to cry until a tear hit the page bleeding the ink like a fresh wound. We've both been feeling that exact same way, but were too insecure to say it out loud. I can't let her go like this. If she must leave me to be happy then it must be on better terms.

I haven't seen a pillar yet so she must have not made it to the cemetery yet. If I hurry I can still make it in time.

If I go running through the palace halls someone is bound to see me in this state, and most likely slow me down. And though I hate to abuse my curse, it does come in handy at times like this. Slipping off and dropping my shirt to the debris strewn floor I head for the open window. I leave Hitomi's journal and Mother's diary, but take the painstakingly written good bye letter with me.

Relishing the burning pain in my back the huge wings burst forth in a fury of feathers only adding to the destruction wrecked on Hitomi's vacated room. Leaping into the air, I dive low making for the tree cover before anyone can see me. Once hidden by the branches I touch down and let the wings dissolve their job complete. I continue on foot as it is not far and the broad appendages would just slow me down on the tighter parts of the path.

I see her! Standing before the final resting place of my only blood kin, Hitomi cups something almost delicately in her hands.

"Hitomi." I call out wanting my approach to be known even if it results in more yelling. I step closer tentatively, but she has yet to acknowledge me. At the next step I feel something unlike leaves crumple under my boot, I pause to pick it up. A card. The artwork though dirty and bent depicts two people falling as lightning strikes the tall building they were in. The tower. I know this one from Hitomi, the card of distant separation.

She turns to me then unshed tears in her eyes. Her hands cradling a card partly torn as if it had been caught on something. A green serpentine dragon on a field of blue.

"The Ace of Dragons." Hitomi spoke her voice steady and strong. "It's your card Van."

"Hitomi?" I questioned taking a step closer. Something in her expression scared me. Whatever she was preparing to do would change everything and most likely not for the better.

"No, Van. Nothing you can say will change that this should have never been." The pendent around my neck started to glow and pulse brightly. I could feel the energist buried below our feet begin to throb along with the surge of power. And then the girl from the mystic moon spoke the worst possible words to shatter me. "I wish you had never chased that stupid dragon to my world. I wish I had never met you Van Fanel."

The power exploded around us, with us, through us. Like lightning striking the pillar hit us with a strength unlike anything I have ever felt before. Burning up the pillar split in two forcing Hitomi and I apart, but I reached for her with every fiber of my being. "Hitomi! I'm sorry!" I screamed into the pain and the power.

Then darkness took me.

.

.

Eyes still closed I groaned at the pain and weakness that wrecked my body. Everything felt cold and numb. Carefully I struggled to sit up from the crumbled heap I had become. The cold metal floor seeping a chill into my very bones.

Metal? Where was I?

I tried to blink my eyes open, but they burned and refused to focus right away. Reaching up to rub my stinging eyes I encountered something I had hoped to never feel, rough metallic manacles encircled my wrists and from the chafing the had been there for a while. The lilting song of a whistled fanelian lullaby broke through my stupor, forcing my eyes open and me unsteadily to my feet.

There sitting patiently just out of range of my chains was none other than the Zaibach Sorcerer Folken Stratigos. "Brother?" I rasped out my throat feeling raw from un-use, screaming… or both.

The familiar yet imposing man gave a tight lipped grin that didn't reach his eyes. "So are you finally willing to work alongside us Van?"

**To Be Continued…**

**A/N**

**Well?! We all have wondered "What if" throughout our lives… Now Van and Hitomi get to live the life they would have had they never met. Their connection has a huge ripple effect, and the world… including the people they have become will never be the same.**

**Folken is alive! Van is trapped on a very specific floating fortress… who else might be there waiting for him? **

**Next chapter- Hitomi's view- Life on earth… Not everything it's cracked up to be? **

**Please review! I love you for just sticking with me… and my bad grammar. Sorry no Beta again. (I miss her and could really have used the help.)**

**Let me know if you have any questions. I know it might be a bit confusing, but everything in time. **

**Oh one more note. I went back and made a few edits of errors I've made regarding time lines and continuity. I think everything has been fixed, but if you are confused at all let me know. Next story I write will only be on a 2x time difference like Lost and Found… so much easier to remember. Yes there is already a story outlined… Well more than one… sorry.**

**~Banryuu**


	7. Loss

**WELL! Thank you so much for the three amazing reviewers who warmed my heart with their Love, Support, Thoughts, and Time! I just wanted to say that everyone has something to contribute whether you are a fellow writer or not. It's often the ones that think they don't have much to share are often the ones with the greatest insight. **

**I'm sorry if I made anyone sad by my last intro post. No two stories I've ever written were comparable, I was wrong to try and put one over the other. Well… Except for my first story… we've all got to start from somewhere. Just because one gets better reviews or more hits doesn't mean the other isn't just as good or better. To each his own. **

**I actually would love to talk to "Nopenname" who wrote me an awesome and very detailed comment, but did not have an account so I couldn't PM them like I do if people have questions or well thought out comments. You've inspired me to find the meaning and root of my stories which got kind of long winded so I moved it to the end of the chapter… just in case anyone is interested. **

**I've been told I'm a "Passive Aggressive Writer" sarcasm my native language doesn't always translate well in the written form. Sometimes I just don't have much confidence so putting myself down is easier than waiting for some else to do it. It also feels like it will hurt less if I say it first. When I participate in team sports at work (it's called 'Wellness' and I'd rather… um… you know work.) I'm an equal opportunity shit talker. Joking around is really the most fun part even if it's at my own expense.**

**Well without further rambling… Enjoy!**

**Oh one last note that pertains to this story I noticed that in some of my other stories Hitomi talks almost too formally… like Van tends to… very old fashioned. I really tried to channel the girl from the mystic moon in this chapter. Van's point of view up until now, you can't really judge since he is biased. **

**Forgotten Words**

**Chapter 7- Loss**

_**Hitomi**_

Never in my life had I felt anything like it. The terrible burning pain was everywhere and suddenly I was scared something was really wrong. Could the baby feel this pain? Was he hurting too? What had I done?

The last thing I knew before I passed out was Van screaming and reaching for me. I barely had the strength to move and yet he fought the terrible power… to try and protect me. After all the pain we have caused each other I thought he'd be better off without me.

When I woke up I felt… different, lighter, but somehow still worn-out. Where it had been afternoon in Fanelia, the moonlight filtered between the pink curtains of my room. My room?! Somehow I am not only home, but everything looks so normal. A memory of the pain comes back to me and fear for the child takes over. When my hand goes to my stomach I am shocked to find it completely flat. I shoot up in bed checking myself over, lifting my shirt I know I won't find any sign I was ever pregnant, since somehow it seems I never was.

Did I go back in time like before? Back to when I was fifteen and I could make the choice to return to Gaia? I've done that before though. I chose Gaia and Van.

I scramble out of bed tangling the sheets in my haste.

No, I'm sure I'm not fifteen anymore. I'm a little taller and a bit curvier… not much… not nearly as much as I was eight months pregnant either. Walking over to the desk is easy and that feels very strange. To not have the baby is both a relief and a hollow pain. The calendar on the desk tells me that my theory is correct. Its May, not exactly sure which day but most likely whatever day it would have been when I was busy fighting with Van.

Van, the way things are might be exactly as I yelled at him at our parting. He never went after the dragon and chased it to my school track. We've never met and since we have zero connection… we most likely never will. I still have my memories of that time; the war, death, fear, envy, and even the baby. I remember what it feels like to have a soul living inside me. A whole being that grows and changes so quickly, who needs me more than anything in the world.

I send a quick thought that I hope Van is okay. Happy and safe on Gaia, this is a chance for a better less complicated life for the both of us.

Sharp pain explodes behind my eyes. Images flash past quickly, and I suddenly knew what my life would have been like if I stayed on earth.

I beat the 14sec run time and won a kiss from Amano. Yukari cheered me on like a good friend… but as I started dating the guy she liked, our friendship suffered. Amano moved away but we talked on the phone, sometimes. It's what I thought a long distance relationship was before I met Van. Eventually we grew apart and just stopped calling. The crush wasn't strong enough to withstand the distance. It wasn't meant to be.

Normal life continued. School, track team, studying… but Yukari resented me and we never spoke, though she did start a rumor that I was a boyfriend stealer. That hurt, but it was like every other petty high school drama, it feels like the end of the world at the time, but fades away just as quickly.

Then something changed. I couldn't sleep, barely had an appetite anymore, I always felt isolated from classmates and the people around me. The memories come in stronger flashes. Dropping out of the track team, becoming obsessed with my tarot and the one card that always showed up as in danger, the ace of dragons… Pain, loss, fear, darkness, and blood so much blood.

I must have stumbled under the crushing weight of memories from another life. The desk chair I was leaning on clattered loudly to the floor. The next thing I know my mother bursts into the room, her night gown skewed as if she was just jolted awake.

She looked older. Not even one year our time has passed, but more like ten years weighed on her. She grabbed my wrists checking them franticly. Not finding what she feared, mother pulled me into a tight hug rubbing my back in quick circles. Though I missed my mom's hugs and presence more than anything her actions worried me, like the look on her face said I worried her. That's when I looked down at my wrists as she had. Long deep scars followed the veins from wrist partway up my forearm. Ugly, nasty scars… I tried to kill myself.

Disgust and confusion churned in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to deny that I would never do anything so stupid, but then I'd be lying. The 'me' that went to Gaia saw horrible things, but I had people there that understood… mostly, they trusted and supported me. My friends were there through everything; Millearna, Allen, Dryden, Merle, and especially Van.

"Did you have another bad dream?" Mother asked trying to sooth me back to bed like a child after a nightmare.

"Dream?" I question letting her steer me back to the covers twisted from my quick departure. As I was settled back under the quilt my mom scurried over to the desk and returned with a blue journal. In another life I had used this book to chronicle my adventure on the other world, and my theories developed after I returned. In this reality the very same book had "Dream Journal" scribbled hastily on the cover.

"Be sure to write anything you remember down Hitomi. I will call first thing in the morning to get an appointment with Dr. Shimura, so you can talk about anything that bothered you." She turned on a small reading lamp and handed me a pen, I must have looked confused since she added slowly. "Your physiatrist."

"Oh, okay mom." I looked from the book to her, waiting, she didn't budge. "I'm fine now. Go back to bed I'll be okay."

She hesitated before nodding. "Alright. Call if you need anything."

After mom left I felt ever stranger. She treated me like I was fragile and bound to break at any moment. The war was terrible, but I had learned a lot of things about myself that the 'Hitomi' who had never been swept away didn't know. First; I am so much stronger than people know and that it feels good to be able to help even in simple things, like teaching Van to douse. Secondly; that all actions have consequences. Third; that negative emotions affect not only you but the people around you. Finally and most importantly if you believe… anything can happen. Believing in someone else is the best form of support, while believing in yourself can be the difference between failure and success.

Letting darkness, loneliness, and doubt in had changed this 'Hitomi' into someone I didn't know and didn't think I wanted to know.

Feeling wide awake and with nothing else to do I opened the dream diary and began to read. There it was in my handwriting things I and everyone who would listen to me took as strange dreams or delusions. Gaia. The burning of Fanelia was recorded early in the pages, not as though I was there but as though I was watching everything from the outside looking in. The destruction is mentioned throughout the book, as is the strange prince that was captured that day.

It all clicked into place. Just because I did not meet Van doesn't mean our connection was completely severed. The terrible dreams that drove me towards suicide were actual events unfolding, but without me there trying to warn people of the visions of danger, the reality appeared to have become so much worse.

Zaibach had attacked regardless of me being there. It was always their plan, but I saved Van during the dragon slaying trial. If he never went on that hunt then he was just a prince without an energist, Van had no way to wake Escaflowne. I'm also the one that transported us to safety to the Asturian border. Without me Van couldn't escape, and he never met Allen, instead he was captured. For almost two years their time he had been prisoner on the floating fortress while Zaibach carved a path of destruction unhindered and unchallenged. Being stuck watching the disturbing soap opera unfold had nearly killed me.

The question that now haunted me was… could I ever go back and make things right? Who would save Van? If I didn't help stop Zaibach who would?

I fell asleep with the book on my face, hands on my flat stomach, and worry in my heart. A dreamless sleep took me that night but I wanted to... no I needed to see if Van was alright.

I woke the next morning feeling as though this was the dream, and when I woke up I'd see a worried Van leaning over me concern in his mahogany eyes, expressive eyebrows furrowed.

No this was real. I got exactly what I wished for, but why does this feel like a curse and not a gift?

The baby. I hadn't even gotten a chance to meet him, but the love I felt was so real his loss takes my breath away. I have to keep reminding myself that he never existed here and that was for the best. I wasn't ready to be a mother at sixteen… right?

I dress in my uniform and plaster a smile on my face before heading downstairs. Mamoru sees me first and the food he was chewing falls out of his gaping mouth.

"Gross, keep your breakfast to yourself slob." I quip plopping down in the empty chair next to him.

"Who are you and what did you do with my sister?" He narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"What makes you think I've changed?" I ask curios, Should I be trying to act like the Hitomi that had been here all along? I don't know if I can pretend like that.

"Hitomi doesn't wake up early." He states frowning. "She doesn't eat breakfast, and she hasn't smiled in… forever."

"Well then think of me as Hitomi 2.0. The better happier sister." I respond smoothly using the sibling banter we used to share.

"Mom!" He yells even though she is clearly on the phone. "Hitomi has been replaced by an alien!"

She waves him off covering her ear to better hear the phone conversation. Intrigued I try to listen in but can only catch part of it. "Acting strange… Calm… Disorientated… Relieved… Yes… a sign she has made a decision… Might try again…Hospital today… Okay… Thank you Doctor"

I had heard enough. Mom thought that since I was acting odd I might try to kill myself again, and this time she thought I might succeed where I failed last time.

"You remember right?" Mamoru asked studying my face, when I shook my head he continued. "She found you on the bathroom floor almost six months ago. You used a box cutter and if Mom hadn't come back for her grocery list she had forgotten then you'd be dead."

I had taken a sip of juice, but at those words it felt like it expanded in my throat making it hard to swallow. How was I supposed to respond to this? I'm not the same person that was so desperate to escape, but then again I have memories they don't. Memories I now fear will fade the longer I am here. If I chose this life will I lose all the good things in the last one?

The feel of wind on my face as Van and I fly through the sky on Escaflowne's dragon form. Millearna's good natured teasing and torn pink dress. Allen's smooth way of making even me feel pretty and special. The sour taste of piscus fruit when Van tried to cheer me up and failed. Sleeping under the stars. Talking to Folken that night by the fountain. Watching Van duel the four mercenaries and win without hurting a single one. Merle's bright inquisitive eyes and sharp tongue. Jumping from the Crusade to the fortress across that huge gap and still being in time to save Van. Van rescuing me from being kidnapped by wading Escaflowne into the canals. Van showing me his wings for the first time to save me after we exploded that energist mine. Running as hard as I could just to reach Van. To save Van in return. The feeling of my heart swelling when he came to get me the first time I returned, and the surprised look on his face when I hugged him.

Van. I still love Van.

Our problems were bound to happen. We were young and careless with our actions. Instead of working through the consequences together we blamed each other, forcing us even farther apart. Love isn't meant to be easy, you have to work at it and fight for it, but it makes everything worthwhile.

Pregnancy hormone mood swings are something I always assumed were a myth, but boy was I wrong. Adding that to the rollercoaster we were on only made the fact that neither of us were quite comfortable sharing our emotions, problems, and needs… it made everything so much harder. In the words my grandmother used to say to me as a child _"Should've, could've, would've. Regrets are missed opportunity. If you don't learn from your mistakes then you are bound to repeat them."_

"Are you sleeping with your eyes open?" Mamoru asked waving his hand in front of my face rudely. "If so, then you're going to be late for school." He pointed out with a grin.

Glancing at the time I realized he was right. Hopping up I grabbed my bag and dashed for the door. Mom called out "Wait Hitomi! You forgot to take your pills!" I pretended not to hear her. Just because her 'Hitomi' needed mood stabilizers doesn't mean I do, and though it might make her think something is really wrong with me I refuse to take medication I don't need.

I made good time getting to school, not exactly in the best shape but not carrying twenty plus extra pound on my front anymore. I constantly find my mind going back to the baby. It feels so strange not to have his strong sudden movements take me by surprise. If I pretend he was just a realistic dream will it eventually stop hurting?

In the other reality; though I was taken out of school before my uniform didn't fit anymore and yet somehow everyone had found out about my pregnancy pretty early on. It might have been from when I quit track team, or stopped drinking coffee and soda… but I always suspected that Yukari let it slip.

Being on this timeline doesn't make her a different person, but the choices made had some sort of negative effect on her. She is hanging out with the 'popular girls' when I arrive at school, the ones who wear too much makeup and talk bad about anyone who doesn't have the latest phone or accessories.

She sees me and her nose goes up in the air a second before she turns to her new friends. "Oh look it's the **FREAK**."

They laugh at my expense, but it doesn't bother me… much. I can see how the other 'Hitomi' would be crushed by this, and I am hurt but I won't let it get to me. Not reacting, has gotten their attention. I guess they expect me to cower and slink away. I won't rise to their bait… but I won't cower either.

"What's her problem?" The ring leader nudges Yukari. "I think your 'friend' has something to say."

"Oh, that **loser** isn't my friend. If she were I'd tell her to cut a little deeper next time." The cold edge to her voice hurts more than the mean spirited words. I walk away. Nothing I say now will help, only blow things out of proportion. I guess you never really know a person. Thinking back I can see Yukari had her petty streak, and she did like to gossip, but she was a good person and I looked past her faults as best friends do… it's not like I was perfect and could really judge.

I take my seat silently and start to arrange my books on my desk. I really hope the implanted memories help with school work because otherwise I'm at least three months behind the rest of the class. I can feel their eyes burning into my back and for some reason that makes the scars on my wrist itchy. Once class starts the feeling eases, and I don't have to worry about not being up to date with the lesson pace since the teacher won't call on me anyways. It's like I don't exist to her, I must make her nervous. The day passes like that. Alone, but surrounded.

During the last class of the day I get this wave of feelings I recognized as belonging to someone else, and the strength is enough to take my breath away. Confusion, fear, hate, regret, and loss. Van's feelings. If this happened to the other 'Hitomi' no wonder she thought she was going crazy, unlike her I know better… I've felt this before, during the war.

Does Van remember like I do? Is this my Van or a stranger I've never met? Regardless he is reaching out to me from across time and space, I must find a way to answer him.

I don't have to fake the tremor on my hand as I raise it to signal the teacher. She glances at me and then quickly away, and I know that my sleeve slipped down exposing the dirty truth. "What is it Miss Kanzaki?" The teacher asks without looking back at me, but at the notes on the board instead.

"I don't feel well Miss Yamagato. I'm dizzy all the sudden." I can feel the questions and assumptions of my class mates, but I do my best to ignore them.

"Go to the nurse's office to lay down until the bell." She states blandly as if it doesn't matter one way or another if I am there or not.

As I gather my things to leave I see one of Yukari's 'friends' elbow her and motion towards me. I pass her and know we are both going to regret the words she is being goaded into saying.

"Someone better warn the Nurse so she can hide anything sharp." Her words are terrible but there is something in her eyes… regret maybe.

Without thinking I respond. "Someone should do you the favor of hiding your make up. It's a privilege, not a right and you obviously don't know how to use it." The class takes a collective breath as Yukari and her friends reel from my insult. I don't stick around to see what happens, but I can hear the explosion of voices as soon as I shut the door behind me. Even if I get in trouble… it was totally worth it.

The entire way to the nurse's office I try to hold onto Van's feelings flowing into me still. If I break the connection I don't know if I will be able to get it back, or even strengthen the bond from this side. The nurse has her hands full with a kid dripping a bloody nose, so she waves me off to make use one of the beds kept just for this purpose. As soon as I lay down I feel a pulling sensation that surprises me with its strength, like it has been waiting impatiently for me.

_My eyes open and I'm no longer at school, but almost hovering inside a dark windowless metal room. The door is surely locked for what little difference it makes to the chained prisoner. His arms are connected by thick heavy looking chains, the center link is threaded through a loop bolted solidly into the floor. Van looks horrible. Thinner then I've ever seen him, with clammy unnaturally pale skin and dark circles under his eyes. Oh god, the worst part is his back. Shirtless you can see every line, scar, and lash imposed on his once toned form. Some of the whip marks look years old while others still ooze dark blood._

_I was so horrified by his state that I failed to notice that Folken was sitting calmly and silently out of reach._

"_Why are you doing this Folken?!" Van demanded sounding not like the tortured man he appeared to be, but the King I knew so well. I would bet anything Van is the same as me. He remembers a different life, one where I've just made a horrible mistake._

"_You know this Van. Why must I repeat myself?" The tall sorcerer asked, but shrugged his mechanical arm and continued anyways. "Your conditions would improve if you would be more understanding of your hosts."_

_His temper flared hotly. "Host? Don't make me laugh! Guests can leave. I am your prisoner and I demand to know why."_

"_Demand?" Folken questioned in return. "You have no right to demand anything. Van be reasonable just agree to work for us, and I can spare you anymore pointless pain."_

"_What do you need me for? Fanelia is long gone. It has no King to round up refugees or rebuild you've made sure of that." Van sneered, pressing for more information. Even though I could still feel his emotions, the reasons behind them and the new memories he may have are unknown to me._

_Folken only answered with a shrug of his broad shoulders. _

"_Escaflowne?!" Van's eyes flashed with challenge. "What good am I to you after all this time? I can't wake it without an energist, and what would guarantee I wouldn't turn on you once I had it?"_

_This brought a small smile to Folken's lips, but the emotion didn't reach his eyes. There was something cold and detached in them. Something that told me he didn't like this anymore then the prisoner he faced. Folken taunted Van for his sake. If he could get through to Van with words then the others wouldn't have to try more brutal methods._

"_We can get you an energist without issue, and the other question how can we 'trust' you is one simple word. Leverage." With that Folken knocked on the door twice in quick succession._

"_What could you possibly have to sway me?" The raven haired teen challenged_

_Folken didn't need to say anything as the door opened and another prisoner was shoved roughly into the cell. The newcomer stared blankly at the floor. Large blue eyes vacant and unfocused, Merle too was thin, but unlike Van she bore no physical scars only emotional ones._

"_Merle?!" Van went to run to the cat-girl, but the thick chains stopped him short with a rough jerk. The noise made her flinch away in response. Angry he turned to the traitor. "What have you done to her?!"_

"_Would telling you we found her like this make any difference?" Folken watched his little brother closely. "No. Then help our cause and young Merle will be free to go to safety, or welcomed to stay by your side, it's your choice Van."_

_Pink hair uncombed and tail hanging limply, Merle made no move that she understood if any of this affected her. _

"_Her spirit is broken." Van sagged against his chains._

"_Then she needs you now more than ever." Folken knocked once more and the door opened, an armored guard began to lead her away. "Do we have a deal?"_

"_Merle?" Van called after her, and a faint perk to her drooping ears signaled she might just be in there somewhere. Defeated his shoulders fell, shadows and overgrown hair obscured his face. "Fine."_

"_What was that?" Folken signaled the guard to stop._

"_I said fine, I will work… for you." The words choked him, painful as they were to say._

"_Good." With another signal Merle was taken closer to Van who was then unchained. "A word of warning Van, don't try to escape again. Next time I won't be able to keep them from taking your wings permanently."_

_With that cryptic threat Folken was gone. The door was locked from the outside once more, but a few things had changed. First Van was no longer chained and the raw skin of his wrists were thankful for it. Next he was no longer alone. And finally he had no idea how to get out of this mess. _

"_You're okay now Merle. I promise you that I will always protect you." On reflex Van moved to pat the younger girl on the head in the familiar manner he normally did, but she flinched away as if expecting a beating instead. Not wanting to make any sudden movements around the scared feline he slowly moved to the wall sliding down to sit with his ruined back resting against the cold metal. After a minute Merle timidly followed siting down just out of reach. _

_Van let his head drop backwards looking up at the ceiling, not quite seeing me but close enough to take my breath away. "Oh Hitomi, I hope at least you are finally happy."_

I woke up with tears soaking into the pillow, and a heavy weight on my heart. What have I done? It seems like such a small thing at the time, but the world has changed with the ripples of action and effect. Zaibach was left unchecked and now with their greatest obstacle happened to be working for them, who could possibly stop them?

Me? I am just what I always claimed to be a normal high school girl… my connection to Van and Gaia notwithstanding. From here what could I do? Who would believe me? How can I go back?

I realize now that I could never truly be happy in a life… a world without Van. Despite our issues we belong together, maybe even because of them, we need each other to grow it seems. The one good pure thing we ever created didn't exist in this world, and that would make it impossible for me to stay here. I want that life I so carelessly threw away. I want to argue with a high-strung Merle. Watch the sun rise every morning over the rebuild roof tops of Fanelia. Learn to be a queen and help people even if all I can do is listen to their problems. I want Van, all of him, both the good and the bad they make up him as a whole. Hard-headed, strong willed, impulsive, rough, awkward, dignified when required, loyal, tender, and most importantly compassionate.

I want to be the kind of person that is worthy of being by his side. Love is the most powerful force in the world, it makes the strong weak and the weak strong. Love doesn't make you a good person it makes you want to be a better one all the time. To love someone is to put their needs and wellbeing above your own regardless of situation.

I know now above all things I want our baby. How I could want to live in a world where he doesn't exist makes… it makes me feel sick. He is the best parts of Van and I. All this time and I just realized what a blessing getting pregnant truly was. To have that new life growing within me, but also to have a chance to be with Van without regrets or limitations. Just because I wasn't ready before doesn't mean I can't be ready now. I am not alone. I don't ever have to be alone if I stop pushing the people that love me away.

I will find a way to make this right… in this world if I must, but first I must set things right with Van. To do that I have to find a way to reach him. I grab my tarot cards stashed in the small pocket sewn into the inside of my school jacket. I shuffle them preparing not to try and force a future, but to let it tell me the best path to walk now. My eyes are closed trying to picture Van and he is meant to be. Tall and still on the lean side, wild raven hair, mahogany eyes that can be both harsh and caring, war tried and royalty trained.

The image of him is clear in my head. Suddenly something rough catches on my fingers, as I look down I find a tear in a very particular card. The Ace of Dragons. Torn as it was after Van tossed the deck out of the palace window. When I finally made it to the cemetery clearing I found his card ripped like this and caught on a low tree branch. This card followed me to this timeline. Still holding the damaged tarot I spread the rest of the deck out searching… it's not here. If I had to make an educated guess when Van and I were torn apart we didn't exactly go alone. The tower is gone. The card Van had been holding… maybe just maybe they can guide us back to each other. Make us whole once more.

I had to believe, because hope is a very powerful thing.

**To Be Continued… **

**A/N**

**So did I do alright with Hitomi? I think it came out well and the darkness of this path is offset slightly by her being more herself. A fact that other people notice and can't figure out the cause. The next chapter is back on Van as the main and finishes up the story. It is mostly done, but still needs the finale completed. The epilogue is still not set in stone. I might end it after the next one, but I'm thinking a short tie-up of all the lose endings might be in order. **

**Read on if you are interested in my musings on all the Escaflowne stories I've written. (Again first story excluded).**

**Last Person on Earth is my only AU… it is about how Escaflowne would have worked out if it were here and the rules of reality governed that world. It is more 'fun' and though it has action it's the drama between the characters that moves things along so quickly.**

**Lost and Found (Still my current personal favorite)… is a standard continuation with a lot of action with drama mixed in a large cast to try and open up the world of Escaflowne without ever leaving Fanelia. To me it's about second chances.**

**Broken Chain my only One Shot… was actually based off my most popular FanArt of Van. It was meant to be quick paced and quickly resolved. I still love how it turned out. The original art is on my DeviantArt page and was shared on tumbler (with my permission) by the Doujin Artist Duna Longhorn. **

**Far From Home the first story I ever finished… was an idea I had in High School about if everything was real and stolen from Hitomi's Diary. It was rough but sweet, and kind of was a song fic at times. **

**Forgotten Words as you know since you are here… has much more drama then action. It was based off of a series of "What if" thoughts and I just kept digging deeper. The darker themes hedge more towards actions and consequences. Where things aren't always what you'd expect. Van and Hitomi are my all-time favorite couple, but I feel they had to mature so fast in such a short amount of time that it's easy to fall back on insecurities. I love them together and will always try to get them the happy ending they deserve, but I believe they would have to work on it… communication isn't their strong suit. Either of them. Something worth fighting for.**

**Please Review even if you don't have much to say. It means the world to me!**


	8. Understanding

**Well here it is the last full chapter of Forgotten Words. It's a long one too. Action, drama, and some surprise guests… my favorite! Speaking of Favorite can you guess which character was my favorite from the series that was not in the main group? He's here! As are his closest friends. **

**I'll keep this pretty short since I say more at the end, but I did keep my promise to post three chapters in three weeks. They are all self-edited, so I'm sure I missed a lot but hope it is still read able for you. Also You'll see Bold and Italic during a certain character's speech as the inflection in his voice is very unique and I wanted to portray that as best as typed word can. I hope you read his words in that same voice we all know so well... I know I do.**

**MERRY WHATEVER-YOU-CELEBRATE! AND A HAPPY DEATH OF THE YEAR! Hugs, cookies, and Escaflowne fanfiction for everybody!**

**Forgotten Words **

**Chapter 8- Understanding**

**Van**

When I woke up chained, trapped, and face to face with my dead brother I knew my world had ended. Everything that followed only helped to instill the surreal feeling that churned like acid through me. The only thing that kept the dark brooding feelings at bay was… Hitomi, was she finally happy? If she was safe, loved, and 'normal' like she always wanted; then I would be just fine. I had to be.

Escape seemed unlikely now as the ever watchful Stratigos had plans for me. There was the very real threat of becoming like the wingless guard, scared and grounded. That would not happen to me. I'd jump from the fortress before… no that was insane, suicide. Even in my darkest hours I've always had something to live for, something to fight for and I still do.

Though our connection has always been rather one-sided, Hitomi was still there for me to reach out to. I hoped I didn't interfere with her life too much, but when I woke up to the assault of foreign memories my emotions had run away on their own. I felt her answer, or at least I think that's what the wave of calm was. I didn't want her to see me like this. Hitomi would just worry and what could she do a world away? No, this is all up to me. I can't rely on her to save me this time, or ever again.

Without warning the metal door of my prison slides away and a single figure takes only a few steps before casually leaning against the door frame. I can feel blood red eyes burning into my skin as he studies me in a superior, condescending, yet intrigued way. I remember Dilandau well… both from my reality and this one. He never held the whip but left his mark on my skin in the form of swollen eyes, split lips, bruises, and a couple cracked ribs. From the strange memories of this life I do know the albino pilot did not visit me often, but he did enjoy… the 'impact' of his appearances.

The reason for his visit now eluded me. So far I was doing exactly what they wanted me to. The conditions had improved just as Folken said they would, if only just. More, better food was brought to me… and Merle. We were given water, towels, and a basin in which to clean up. Though the only clothing I had was the dirty tan pants I assume are the same as I was wearing… in another life… the improvements in treatment were noted.

I suppose this was all planned to instill a since of trust and maybe gratefulness in me, where through positive reinforcement the prisoner becomes loyal. Not likely.

I am not the same lost tortured kid that has been locked up and abused for nearly two years, and I don't hide that change from my eyes as I meet Dilandau's gaze without fear.

"Oh, is my _favorite_ prisoner feeling better?" The silver haired teen drew out the word 'Favorite' in an amused way that made my skin crawl, but I refused to raise to his bait. His taunting smile grew. "I _do_ hope you have learned some **respect** after all this time… otherwise it might be _difficult_… since from now on you work **for me."**

I know it didn't hide my shock quick enough, as his grin only grew. "Folken wouldn't let that happen!"

"_Folken_ isn't the **boss** of me, or you for that matter." Dilandau snapped taking an unconscious step towards me before easing back into the taunting manner he had been enjoying. "_I only_ answer to General Adelphose, Strategos may be in charge of this _'project'_ but I don't belong to him and neither do **my** Dragon Slayers." With that the albino tossed a black bundle at me, which I caught, even through my confusion I could hear him mumble "not bad reflexes" before he continued.

"Oh **yes** that's **right**! Since you will be _a 'Special'_ pilot they have put you under my command. Not that you will be getting a state of the art Alseides, but some antique piece of** junk** we are traveling back to that _burnt out_ ruble of a country to pick up." I dropped the leather and armor the maniac had thrown at me, I wanted to attack him or yell at his disrespect, but I didn't. He was trying to get a rise out of me. I refuse to give him what he wants so the verbal abuse continues. "You _know_ I've always _wanted_ to have Kings kneel before me I guess I'll have to settle for **a prince**. A prince of ash and bone, but _'blood'_ royalty regardless."

Boiling with anger I swallow hard forcing my retaliation back, though the bile he was spewing left a rotten taste in my mouth. He murmured "Controls temper, reasonably." Dilandau was testing me. Despite everything the teen wasn't a fool. He knew if I was to follow his orders I'd have to be predictable to him if not loyal… and loyal was **never** going to happen. I wonder how this uncontrollable fighter would react if I told him that I knew deep down that he was just a scared, crying, lonely little girl. Without my sword as protection it probably wouldn't go well for me, so I bite my tongue but enjoy the thought to myself no less.

I don't know if he saw my small smirk or if he just didn't like not getting a reaction Dilandau snapped. "**Get** dressed." Before spinning on his heel, right before the door slid shut behind him I heard. "When you are done _'your majesty'_, leave your pet here. You better impress me in the training room or I'll have you _back_ in **chains**."

With the silent Merle curled in the corner pretending to sleep I am as close to being alone as I ever am… and being alone with my thoughts these days have not turned out well. Hesitantly I retrieve the uniform I dropped in my shock before. Truthfully I would never want to be caught dead wearing such a thing, but logically it is actually incredibly beneficial. Dragon Slayers are rarely questioned by anyone other than Dilandau. If there is an opportunity to escape then this might just give me the window I need to do so. I also know Folken would have never approved this, and between Dilandau and my brother I think the easier foe to get past is the silver haired melif' pilot.

Another bonus with the albino trying to rile me up he is a lot more likely to let useful information slip. I shake out the uniform sighing to myself, desperate times… and all that. I do a quick inspection of the uniform; black leather long jacket with a high collar and gold trimmed details, matching leather pants, and a white long sleeve undershirt. The armor was on the bulky side yet still light weight. Blue paldrons, gauntlets, and armored guards that ran the length of the arms but still articulated for movement. I've never noticed before that the majority of the Dragon Slayer's armor only covered the arms and shoulders as if the primary use was intimidation, with a secondary use to help block attacks but offered very little protection for other vital areas. It's almost like saying "Dying is your fault, if you let the enemy in too close."

As much as I don't want to wear this… I have to admit it's clean and will help inforce the impression that I am following orders. I need them to think that I am agreeing to their terms, it is the only way I'll ever be able to 'escape'. The strange memories I have of myself as the 'prisoner' in this reality show me a life I am glad I missed by finding Hitomi. In my real life I suffered a lot of pain both physical and emotional, but nothing like this Van. He was alone in his suffering.

Though he never gave in, never surrendered, always tried to escape when the opportunity arose…. This prisoner prince was a coward. He didn't want revenge… that anger burnt out quickly. He only wanted to get away, to save his own skin, and for that I am ashamed. If he had any information this Van probably would have told them long ago, but since he had nothing they felt he was just being 'difficult'. He would not have agreed to the enemy's terms even to save Merle. His views were so narrow he couldn't see how it would benefit him the way I can. The poor damaged Merle of this world is an extra hindrance, but she is still family, and I refuse to leave her behind.

Now I have to find a way out for the both of us, and Folken made it clear I would be watched **very **closely.

Merle rolled over in her 'sleep' towards the wall to give me more privacy to change. Since my upper body was already bear I started with the linen undershirt which stuck uncomfortably to the open wounds on my back. The jacket's cool leather would have helped had it not started to heat to my skin so quickly. I prefer less layers and more movement. The long sleeves and high collar will be uncomfortably restricting especially when I have to force this unnaturally thin and out of shape body into sword fighting stances I am familiar with but he is not.

I am lost in thought musing over if I should pretend to be a poor swordsman, or if it would be more beneficial to show 'some' of my skill to try and endear myself to Dilandau's inner circle quicker. As I shed the dirty pants I almost miss that there is a stiff object hiding in my right front pocket. Carefully fishing it out of the discarded fabric I find myself looking at a card. A very specific tarot to be exact, the Tower with its dirt smudged colorful depiction of falling people.

This is the card I was holding when Hitomi's horrible wish was granted. How is that possible? How did it follow me to this terrible reality? Did something similar happen to Hitomi? Could this connect us?

Using my thumb I gently try to rub the dirt away and a shock of electricity surges through me. "Van?!" Hitomi's bright voice echoes in my head.

Trying not to alert any listening ears… Merle, or those otherwise ordered to keep tabs on me, I try to think the words clearly in my head. "Hitomi? Is that you? Are you alright?"

"Van!" The relief in her voice is evident that she heard me clearly. "I am so sorry… I was selfish."

Her voice sounded sad and I had to tell her the words I wanted to say the moment I read her feelings in that painful letter. "No, Please don't apologize. I wasn't any better." I have to pause and force the hard to say words out, but I say them. "I was so afraid to lose you and any chance I had as a family I made you feel trapped."

"You have nothing to apologize for… I hid from you and twisted us both up because I was afraid. You were right that I kept pushing you away. I ruined Millearna and Dryden's wedding I felt ours would turn out worse." Her voice was warm and clear as she finally explained the true reason for her hesitation.

She had been blaming herself for the attack on Asturia and Millearna's marriage falling apart this whole time. "Zaibach would have attacked without you there… actually they did and the damage was much worse." I couldn't bring myself to tell her the rest. That none of our friends survived the attack here and that Zaibach being the deceivers they were blamed the attack on Basram, since they had used the energist bomb on the wedding ceremony. The second princess Eries was the only living Aston and was still waging a war on a framed enemy. These facts I only knew from Dilandau's gloating during one of our 'sessions'. He was so proud that the only trace of the famous Allen Scheazar was a burnt out shadow on the sidewalk, with the other knights of Caeli in formation. Sick thought, even if he didn't know… Allen was his only 'family'.

"It wasn't my fault?" Her voice shook slightly with emotion but was getting fainter, as if she was farther away.

I knew we were running out of time, but I had to easy her doubts. Doubts that have been plaguing her since the war. "No, it wasn't your fault, Hitomi. You were like a skipping stone causing ripples on the water's surface. Zaibach was a storm making waves. Your ripples disturbed their plans, and that is why they turned their attention to you. Without you here the waves rage uncontrolled."

"Van I'm Sorry. I love you and I want our life back." Her voice was almost too soft to hear now. "Our connection is still strong. There might be a way for us to-"

"Hitomi? To what?" But she was gone. Hitomi couldn't hear me anymore, but I knew we were finally on the same wavelength. It wasn't just about protecting Merle or escaping anymore… it was about making things right. Our destiny was to end the war together, and whether Hitomi and I were meant to be a family after that we couldn't force it without something having to give.

The moment had passed, but I had new hope. Hitomi and I would figure out how to get our lives back, but first I would need to finish getting dressed. That inter planetary conversation took place without pants on. It would have been something embarrassing to explain if it had been a visual communication. What would I have told Hitomi about standing there in a Dragon Slayer Jacket and undergarments only? I stepped into the black leather quickly, not waiting for another interruption to catch me with my pants down… so to speak.

Once everything was fastened; straps, buttons, armor, gloves, gauntlets… this uniform was far more complicated then I was comfortable with. My hair hung long and raged brushing the blue armor in an annoying manner. This would have been a strange sight for anyone who truly knew me, I quickly dismissed the notion of asking Merle what she thought. My Merle would have hissed at me saying something witty about how bad I looked, this damaged creature was not my Merle… she wouldn't know this was all a farce anyways.

It was then I realized I was still barefoot. Was this a test? Was I to walk over nails or beg for the boots to prove my loyalty? Since my prison was still only accessible from the outside I had to knock to exit. The door slid open and a fair haired Dragon Slayer stood in the opening with a sour look on his face and a pair of blue armored boots in his hands. Without a word he dropped the heavy items barely missing my vulnerable toes. "Orders are orders, but we have our eye on you."

A threat then? His words and attitude said that I could dress like them, but I would never truly be a Dragon Slayer. He was right, so that didn't bother me, but to see a person so closely… one I know that I had killed in a fit of dark bloodlust made my stomach churn sickly. I didn't even know his name, but I remember his cries of pain as if they were yesterday not another lifetime.

"What are you waiting for?" He snapped blue eyes keenly watching me from under his straight cut bangs.

Snapping back to present I slid my feet into the boots securing the armor tightly around my calves. Before I am even done the solider has already set off down the passage way. I hurry after his retreating back knowing he wouldn't mind losing me in the confusing twists and turns of the fortress's lay out. I have to give these guys more credit for fighting dressed like this… the amount of extra weight, heat, and restriction this formal style uniform causes was unexpected. Though I fought without any armor, vulnerable to injury, I would chose that any day over this.

An out of shape emaciated body doesn't help matters, and just struggling to keep up with the brisk walking pace I am out of breath by the time we reach the training room.

All eyes turn to me, distain clear on the soldier's faces. A few I recognize faintly as the six that form Dilandau's inner circle. The rest… not so much and I feel as if there are less of these other Dragon Slayers then there was during my war. It's possible a few of them died without my assistance.

Dilandau in his red armor stood out starkly from his minions. Eyeing our arrival he turned from where he was giving a solider with shoulder length brown hair an order. The Slayer in question took a respectful bow to his commander then turned and left without giving me the slightest glance. My curiosity over this was quickly replaced with warning bells going off in my head as the albino stalked over to me and my unhappy guide.

"What took you so long to retrieve him Chesta?" Though it was phrased as a question I knew any answer would be wrong.

"With all due respect commander, he dresses slower than an eighty year old grandmother." The slap that followed was hard enough to snap Chesta's head to the side. No cry of pain or angry retort the solider bent over low in a regretful bow.

"What have I told you about _excuses_?" The silver haired warrior drawled eyeing the prostrated boy.

"It won't happen again, Lord Dilandau." His head bowed hung until Dilandau motioned he could stand again. Once back upright, Chesta backed quickly away to join the cluster of more trusted Dragon Slayers.

I felt the instinct to block or duck, but knew I had to resist any defensive move a second before the leader's armored and gloved hand impacted the side of my face. Where Chesta had been hit by the palm of the hand I unfortunately received the back. As the metal gauntlet scraped my skin painfully and blood filled my mouth I realized that Chesta had received the softer punishment.

Forcing myself to mirror the subservient attitude of my guide was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Gritting my teeth I bowed low, swallowing blood I wanted to spit in his pretty face. I can only imagine the superior look on Dilandau's face as I submitted myself to him.

"Don't **ever** keep me _waiting_ **again**." He drawled, savoring his power over me. "Clean your **damn **self up, and take to the mat. I need to see what _I've got_ to work with."

On one side of the training room there was an area with towels and water. Most likely used to wash up after practice not before, but then again you never do know with Dilandau and his group. I am not vain so the only thing that concerns me about the scrapes across my cheek is how much they may bleed. Pressing the clean fabric to the wound I am not surprised to see red soaking into what was previously white, but it's not too bad and should scab up soon. I discreetly spit the remainder of blood from my mouth into the now dirty towel.

As cleaned up as I will get without looking like it bothers me, I turn to the center of the room where I assume my sparring partner is already stretching; rotating his shoulders in an easy fluid motion is a guy on the taller side of the group with sandy brown hair and keen blue eyes. I recognize him as the one we captured on our way to Freid. Miguel something or other, I let out a breath of relief I didn't know I was holding. It shouldn't matter but I am glad I don't have to fight one of the soldiers I killed, and the list I did kill is much longer… especially in this room.

I approached him cautiously, but without appearing timid. Any sign of weakness here would be mercilessly exploited. His attitude was nonchalant but his eyes followed me, judged me, searched for an opening and we had not even begun the match yet.

"I didn't know we had started letting girls with in our ranks." He taunted with an easy smirk. "Sorry sweet heart, but we don't have any toy swords for you to play with."

On that note a slight boy with pale curly hair that reminded me of a sheep brought over a sword that matched theirs. Like everything else that had been given to me so far it was identical to the rest of the Dragon Slayers, but didn't suit me at all and they knew it. I could feel the eyes burning into me as I took the sheathed weapon. What did they expect? That I would be too weak to hold it? That I would do something crazy like try to attack in this armed and trained crowd? That I would try and bolt?

Instead I tested the weight, not bad if a little blade heavy, my Fanelian sword was perfectly balanced so it would a take a moment to get used to this one, with its shorter hilt. I fastened the sheath to my belt trying to mirror the way they wore theirs', but knew comfort would make me shift it to a more natural position soon.

Without a word I unsheathe the blade ignoring the sudden intake of breath from those surrounding me. Their hands rested readily on their own hilts almost begging for trouble. In one quick motion I grabbed my overgrown hair in my left hand and used my right to slice clean through the mess. I don't know how it looks, but it felt so much better… even if I had cut it shorter then I used to wear it during the war. I tossed the locks onto the floor intentionally outside the sparing area.

"Much better." I said mostly to myself feeling lighter, more me the King less the Prisoner.

I could see intrigue over taking suspicion in the eyes of a few of the watchers and that told me how I should let this fight play out. I should be good but not at my best, a better swordsman then they expect but not give away my true skill level. I want to beat Miguel but not by much, a draw would be preferable though I might have to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Are you done, or should we get you some makeup and a dress too princess?" I'm not much for taunting my adversaries I prefer to let my skills and blade do all the talking, but I can't attack first and let him think he hit a nerve… even though he hasn't. It will take a lot more than that to get under my skin.

I just shrug, but maintain an easy stance. "With all this talk of my looks I'm surprised you haven't started courting me yet. Sorry you're not my type."

His eyes flash and I see the slight shift in his weight, I know his move before he takes it. A quick transvers step with a powerful diagonal slice. I parry easily sliding just out of range. He follows with a quick jab, and the twist of his blade means the time for jokes has passed, this is business and more then Miguel's pride is on the line.

I continue to counter remaining on the defensive, let him believe he has me out matched… my opening will come. The blades clash loudly and I can feel the reverberations from each impact traveling smartly up my weakened arms. This Dragon Slayer is good, maybe the top fighter here under Dilandau, but not good enough. Despite his attitude he wants this too much and the force behind each attack is growing slightly weaker. I am wearing him down and letting him do all the work. This body is too damaged to just overpower him. I have to outlast Miguel by outthinking him.

His next step falters ever so slightly, and I take that chance to switch my stance pressing forward into his guard. The move is countered quickly, but I know the upper hand is mine. The next attack against me is a desperate attempt to take back control and the overhead swing comes down quickly, but I smoothly flow into a half-sword attack dropping my non-dominate hand down the blunt side of the blade and by shifting the power to the center of the sword I easily throw his weapon aside turning the block into a quick jab with the hilt right at his face. He moves at the last second so I just clip his chin and not smash his nose as I would have otherwise. It still connected and that throws him off balance even more.

Miguel is surprised and not at all pleased. Careless, exactly how I want him. He has no idea how tired and worn thin I am. This body can't take much more, but I push myself through the forms not letting the fatigue show. I let him take the offensive again, and this time when he overextends I drop under the swinging blade and come up inside his guard the sharp tip of my weapon aimed at his exposed throat.

"Enough!" Dilandau's order freezes us both. Miguel looks down shocked to see how close I was to ending him. Quickly he backs away sheathing his weapon, and awaits the next command like a good solider. I on the other hand have lost all my momentum and can barely lift the weapon let alone sheath it. "Guimel, retrieve the sword before the prince there drops it."

The wooly haired boy is back to take the weapon and I let him. It's not like I could fight him off at this point. I used everything this abused body had against Miguel. Not quite my best by a long shot but it was exactly what I needed to play out. I had to appear useful. It's the best way I have to gain any sort of control at this point.

The gathered group is looking at me differently respect maybe, and something else I can't quite place.

"I'm sure you've all heard the rumors that we had a royal prisoner aboard the Vione with us." Dilandau took center stage addressing his men. "Well now you can see the truth. A proper introduction is in order isn't it?"

I couldn't say anything just tried not to let my weariness show. It took everything I had left not to sway on my feet.

Dilandau grinned, but continued anyways. "This is Van Fanel, Prince of Fanelia and your new brother in arms." He then turned his fierily eyes on me. "Oh, and do I ever have _plans_ for you."

My skin crawled, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Later I was given another chance to freshen up this time from the sweat soaking my overheated uniform. Then I was led by the others who I matched only in outward appearances to a huge crowded mess hall and given a large tray of food. No one really talked to me, they were curious but not accepting, and that was how I wanted it. I don't want to get to know these guys. I don't want to see the people they would have been… had I not ended them while they were all still only fifteen.

Miguel glares at me, but it means little as I focus on my food and try just to regain some sibilance of strength. I will need it.

In my semi-isolation I observe a few key things; the 'normal' Zaibach Soldiers look to the younger Dragon Slayers with a mix of awe and contempt. In the same manner Dilandau is seen with both fear and respect almost equally. As I predicted I am the right age, build, and uniform; to the regular men I look like I belong and if I were to walk through the crowd and out the door as if everything was completely ordinary no one would be any wiser. Well almost no one… despite announcing my addition to his flock the albino commander watches me steadily. He doesn't trust me, but he wants to use me… for what exact purpose isn't yet clear. Am I proof that he is a superior leader? Am I a test of reactions and loyalties? Or am I another sword, another pilot to do his bidding and secure his power with-in the working machine that is the Zaibach military forces?

My musings are interrupted by the arrival of the brunet Slayer that departed on orders before my fight. He leans down to whisper something to his leader. The words are too low for me to make out, but I don't like the merry glint in Dilandau's determined eyes.

He stands and silence falls swiftly not only over our group but of those close to us as well. "Wonderful news." He states clapping his armored hands together, this announcement is directed to his men and he is pointedly ignoring the rest of the audience. "Dalet has reported we have arrived at our destination. We are directly over the ruins of the Fanelian palace. It's time to hunt a dragon and retrieve the Escaflowne Armor for our new friend."

I feel if I'm about to lose all the food I just ate as my stomach churns sickly. That was the plan? Send armored suits to slaughter a dragon, force me to harvest the heart, and wake Escaflowne. Why does the emperor want it so badly? The Guymelifs they have are more technologically advanced, and it was really Hitomi they needed to activate the Atlantis Machine… without her they will always be missing something. Right?

"Isn't it good to be home Van?" Dilandau taunted, and I felt the eyes of the others on me once more.

What did he want from me? "The forest where the dragons nest it more than a days' travel outside the city."

The silver-haired teen laughed as if I'd said something comical, the others followed his lead even if they didn't quite get the joke. "Silly you've _been_ locked away **too** long. The dragons have claimed Fanelia as their own. They control the city now, not you." He patted me on the shoulder slightly harder then was friendly. Dilandau was having far too much fun at my expense. "All we have to do is land in the rubble and they will come to us. It will be _easy_ pickings. Just like **destroying** this place was the first time around."

I wanted to make the maniac eat his words, but in this sad state I'd never beat him. I knew that from the beginning though, and the point was to do exactly what I did to Miguel, but on a larger scale… bide my time, the perfect opportunity will come. I don't have to fight Dilandau to defeat him I just have to out maneuver him.

"Chesta, Gatti, Dalet, and Miguel prepare your Alseides for departure." Their commander ordered before turning to me, a grin on his androgynous face. I'm beginning to think he is enjoying this too much. "You'll ride with me to the ground. Miguel would _drop_ you… the** others** you haven't _humiliated_ yet so I'm not quite sure."

"Give it time." I respond standing to follow him and his men as they prepare to desecrate my homeland once more. Maybe I should volunteer to go with Miguel, they must not know I'm draconian otherwise they'd realize that 'dropping me' would only be to my benefit. No, stick to the plan.

We enter a huge Melif' hanger I vaguely remember the Crusade docking at in the daring rescue a lifetime ago. How easily fate changed. No one is storming in to save me this time. Hitomi… the difference between the life I once fought for and this sad existence.

I can see bright sky above and green trees below through the open bay doors. We must be floating just above the remains of the castle, this exit faces the cemetery and could not have been better placement if I had tried.

With that thought the world shook violently, or so it would appear as the fortress shifted dangerously to one side and the lights flickered sporadically. Nice timing, luck was defiantly on my side for once.

"What the hell was that?!" Dilandau demanded as a siren began to blare overhead.

A static filled voice followed the alarm declaring information. "Now, a fire has been reported in main generator room 3-181-2-Echo. Cause of explosion unknown. All available hands report to emergency stations."

"Lord Dilandau, that's the central generator room." Gatti stated being at the commander's right hand. "It's the closest engineering station to the holding cells.

All Dragon Slayer eyes went to me. I lift my empty hands in a motion proving not only am I un-armed but also under close guard.

Chesta takes a step closer to his leader. "An outside attack then?"

I grasp for bits of information I absorbed while silently eating me meal in a room crowded full of chatting soldiers. "Rebels?" The one word sent a shudder through the group.

"Damn scarred old samurai, just won't fuckin' _give_ up." Dilandau cursed under his breath, grasping the hilt at his waist tightly. My heart leapt, it can't be… Balgus is alive. In this reality he didn't die to save me, instead he lives to fight for our cause. My attention is drawn back to the albino as he starts to head back into the fortress and the unknown disturbance. "Chesta, Gatti, Dalet! Come with me. Miguel, stay with our new friend… If this is a ploy to escape, kill him."

"My pleasure, Lord Dilandau." The Slayer smirked at the order, he must be wishing I'd give him the chance to follow through.

With a nod the red-armored fighter began to jog towards whatever danger lay ahead, three of his best men close at his heels. The last remained watching me, completely on guard.

Through the noise and scurrying troops just the two of us remain still as if the world wasn't collapsing around us.

"How did you do it?" Miguel asked, openly studying my weak battered form.

"Do what?" I asked glad to be far from the excitement, and praying Merle finished the job I gave her without being caught. Everything had fallen into place so well. As I finished dressing in this ridiculous uniform I knelt down in front of the creature my best friend had become. Through a quick explanation her eyes brightened. Upon leaving the cell I left the door open. My guard being relieved as part of the 'kindness' of my captors, the only one who would have noticed would be my guide… Chesta, who in his distaste for me took off down the passageways without checking the security of the remaining prisoner. Merle was to find the nearest machine space without being sighted and rip apart as many wires or hoses as possible, most importantly she was to get the heck out of there before the chaos erupted. The best chance was to return to the cell and lock herself back in. Who would ever blame the timid neko trapped alone inside a windowless, escape proof room?

As much as things seemed to be working out for me at the moment this glorious window of opportunity would not last forever. My back to the open sky I began to take one slow step backwards at a time.

"Don't move another inch." Miguel warned unsheathing his blade.

Another step, and a taunting smirk.

"You're unarmed and without escape." He stated with steely blue eyes and a grim determination.

Another step.

He snapped into action charging for me. Lethal point closing the distance fast. I didn't have time to play with him, so I did the last thing he would expect. Unarmed I charged directly for him, but at the last second I rolled to the side causing his forward momentum to take him right past me. He turned with a sharp glare, and noticed his scabbard was no longer at his waist but in my hands.

"Fool." He ground his teeth. His next attack I parried with the sheath pushing him back and only increasing his anger. There was only so much I could do until he gave me the perfect overhand strike, the exact strike the Slayer seemed so fond of. Just like with the sword, during our sparing session earlier, I switched my grip and countered with a half sword technique though… this weapon was more like using a short staff. He was prepared for my following move protecting his face my target last time, but not my plan this go round. I dropped low slamming the blunt object into his unprotected gut. The air left him in a whoosh, and his eyes rolls backwards sickeningly as my opponent collapsed unconscious in a heap on the metal floor.

That will hurt when he wakes up… if I fail and he does wake up after all.

The hanger had emptied of all personnel before our short lived fight began, and time was running out until someone returned to complicate matters. Conflicted didn't seem to cover my emotions at the moment. Balgus and Folken were both alive in this reality. One fought as I should be, while the other pressed forward towards destruction. A small part of me wished for more time here, just to see my old mentor one last time, but what would I have to sacrifice for that to happen? Hell I knew Balgus wasn't even here right now… It was just me and Merle, but it didn't make me feel any better about what I was about to do. The missed opportunity, but the old samurai would call me a sentimental fool. I can see his one eye glaring at me sharply. "_Quit complaining about the things you cannot change. Move forward Lord Van, always keep charging forward_." The tightness in my chest lessened.

I stepped to the very edge of the open hanger bay feeling the wind pulling at me like an old friend. Removing the card I had kept tucked safely away until now I closed my eyes, reaching out towards Hitomi with my heart and mind which for once were in complete harmony. Her answer was strong and immediate. Closing my eyes I could see her clearly. Lean and thin in her school uniform, face pale and tired… but eyes so very sure and bright. She stood on the edge of a tall building, her school perhaps. Like me she stood on the precipice of something dangerous and wonderful at the same time. She saw me as I am now; wearing an ill-fitting Dragon Slayer uniform, hair roughly chopped and uneven, but I knew she saw me as the king… the man I am meant to be.

Hitomi spoke to me then, holding the damaged ace of dragon card tenderly to her chest. "I know you want to save the world Van, but I want you to know that it's okay… if you only save one person, and it's okay if that person is you."

"You are my world." I told her clearly even though my lips never moved. "I have wasted too much time, and yet there is nothing I would change in this reality or any other as long as it brought me back to you."

"I wish for my life back." She said tears welling up in her large emerald eyes. "I wish you landed right in front of me while chasing a dragon. I wish I saved your life for the first time of many that night. I wish that I had been swept away to a world at war and a king without his country." Her voice shook with emotion.

I picked up where she faltered pouring my deepest wishes, fears, and hopes out for her… for myself. "I wish I had met an impossibly stubborn girl the night of my rite if dragon slaying. I wish we had been forced together by fate, to save each other from more than just mortal danger. I wish I had fought for her harder than she would ever know." My voice cracked, and I'd like to think it was from the welling power I could feel building between us… but it wasn't complete there was something holding me back. If I couldn't fix it and fast, the power along with our chance would be gone.

"Van!" A voice called out to me, one I'd longed to hear for years, but dreaded the moment I woke up here. I opened my eyes to see Folken, alone but approaching me none the less. I moved closer to the sharp drop hovering over the ruined world below. My heels hung over the edge, just barely keeping my weight and balance still perched on the floating fortress. Though I was looking at my brother with my eyes I could still see Hitomi on her very own ledge. She nodded to me knowing I needed to do this.

Folken froze where he stood, eyes measuring the chances that I go over the edge. "I once had a brother that wished for me on his tenth birthday." I spoke clearly so the wind behind me didn't swallow the words before they could reach him.

His eyes widened a fraction. "So you found the diary." Folken tucked his metallic arm under his cloak as if hiding it would make the appendage less real. "Are you proud little brother that I turned out to be such a failure?"

"What are you talking about? Hitomi… the girl in Mother's visions predicted this would all happen." Confused my focus wavered and Hitomi's image began to fade along with bits of the power we had built between us. I took a deep breath pulling on our connection which still burnt brightly, the girl came back into focus, but the power still trickled away. I didn't have much time, but I needed to talk to Folken… something I had avoided in my reality. Something I deeply regret.

"There was no girl. Only mother constantly pushing." The man I barely knew looked sadly at me, and the spare memories clicked into place. In this world Hitomi never warned mother about Folken's sad fate. It must have happened for her after the war. Instead this Folken did not grow up with a happy supported childhood, constant pressure was always put on his thin shoulders. In my world Mother must have taken a more supportive role trying to prove the vision wrong. Here she was far more critical of any short comings… assuming fate had chosen Folken. I never saw him smile, and he never had time to read stories or play with me. "I did everything I could do to protect you. Van, I still am just trying to protect you."

"Protect me?" I asked trying to fit the pieces together.

Folken's stony front begins to crumble and pure emotion fills his deep voice. "I couldn't save myself, but I could save you by creating a new world. A world without war, without pain, without loss. I hid mother's diary to save you from a dark destiny." His tattoo lined eyes pleaded to me in a way his words never would.

"I never asked you to change the world for me Folken!" As I spoke a weight seemed to lift from my shoulders, the regret I carried over things I had left unsaid out of spite began to dissolve. Folken disappearing, abandoning me after his failed hunt. His work for Zaibach that not only destroyed our country, but tried to destroy me in the process of 'changing the world'. "All I ever needed was you as my brother. I've lost you too many times to never have a chance to tell you. Despite everything I love you, and I forgive you."

This sad pain filled man would never find the peace he craved. "Van, if you try and escape Zaibach will hunt you until the ends of this world and beyond. You will never be free of them, and one way or another they with destroy you." His eyes had turned hard as he spoke, and though I knew he had heard me the words I had longed to say were more for my benefit. If this worked he'd be dead once more and if it did not work… then I would be the one to expire today.

"The plan was never to escape, but to make things right." Peace fills me and the power surged back stronger than ever even without a pendent or energist to amplify it. I smiled broadly letting all the pain, fear, regret and hatred go.

Bringing the tarot card to my lips I see as she Hitomi mirrors my actions, kissing the damaged card. Together we take that last step into the wind. As I fell backwards I could see Folken run to the edge sheading the top of his robe in the attempt to release his wings, wanting to jump after me. Something in my eyes stopped him and my brother collapsed on the ledge calling my name; shirtless, wingless, and with his mechanical arm in clear view.

Likewise in Hitomi's world a girl with vibrant red hair and tear rimmed eyes runs to the ledge crying her name. "Good Bye Yukari, my friend." My green eyed girl calls up as she falls backwards, a serene smile on her face even though only I can hear her at this point.

Speeding towards the ground dangerously we both close our eyes pulling on shared memories and powerful feelings. I have to fight the urge to shred the uniform jacket with my wings, and Hitomi too fights the natural instinct of panic and self-preservation. As we plummet, wind whistles loudly in our ears, but we hold on to our hope and the single wish with all our hearts.

"I wish for my life with Hitomi."

"I wish for my life with Van."

Bright light surrounds us, cradles us in its warmth. Unlike the last time the power touched us there was no pain, only comfort. Reaching out through the light I can feel my hand close around a slender one. Hitomi threads her fingers through mine and together we are lifted away from certain death and the biggest gamble of our lives.

Even with eyes tightly shut I pull Hitomi's form to me wrapping my arms around her in a protective embrace. I can feel her bury her face in my chest, and for the first time since I let her go after the war do I feel complete.

The light dissipates and it takes me a moment to feel the soft grass beneath us. Hitomi begins to slowly shift, not away… but into a more comfortable position, as her large belly is pressed against me and I can feel the thump of the child moving within.

The child! I shoot upright concern and wonder foremost in my mind. We are back. Not just to our reality but to everything it details. I feel whole, healthy and strong unlike the prisoner. Hitomi on the other hand glows with the beauty only pregnant women carry. I help her sit up, but the moment she is stable my hands go to her stomach.

"He's alright." Hitomi smiles warmly laying her hands over mine. "I was worried too since he didn't exist where I was sent, but I think only our minds went to that alternate reality. Our bodies stayed here, safe. It was how we felt all the changes of that life."

"Was it just a horrible dream?" I asked looking around us for the first time. We sat in front of the cemetery memorials, the grass around us flattened down in a circular pattern as if a great wind twisted only over this spot. The colorful tarot cards forming a protective ring around us, minus only two cards it seemed.

"No, I think it was real for us. I don't know what would have happened if we had decided to stay there." Hitomi held up her card which miraculously was undamaged. The rip in the paper face was fixed as if it had never existed.

I held my card out to her, not a smudge of dirt or crease on it at all. Something else had changed in the card. The two falling people were somehow closer, holding hands as they fell from the great height.

Her slender fingers brushed mine momentarily taking the card from me. Even as she tucked the tarot away I could feel the warmth lingering through my glove. "I-"

Hitomi cut in her voice firm and warm. "Please don't apologize, I think we both kind of needed to see how much better our lives are together."

"I was going to say I never properly asked you to marry me." Giving her a lopsided smile, that only grew with her embarrassed flush. "With everything that has happened, I just assumed there wasn't an answer other than yes. I know now this has to be something you really want."

Tears welled in her luminous eyes, so I chose to continue. "Hitomi, you make me not just want to be a better king, but a better man. Please honor me by becoming my wife."

The silence stretched between us, as she looked down biting her lip. My heart dropped like a stone, then Hitomi glanced up into my eyes, joy written clearly on her face and a teasing smirk on her lips this time. "I didn't hear a question."

"Will you marry me?" The words came out more sure and confident then I felt.

Her smile grew with the soft warmth in her eyes, love flowed from that one look and I knew the answer before she spoke. "Yes, Van. I will."

**To Be Continued…**

**A/N**

**Well that was the last official chapter. There will be an epilogue hopefully posted at New years to wrap up all the lose ends. I originally planned on having the wedding at the end of this chapter but it was dreadfully long. That and so much more will be in the final instalment. **

**You could stop here… but I wouldn't recommend it. The main story like is done though. Hitomi and Van together and in harmony. I have always loved them together, but I feel it wouldn't be a relationship of convenience, as neither of them are particularly good at sharing their feelings. It would be rocky at times but if they worked at it then there was nothing they couldn't face together.**

**One of my best reviews summed Van up perfectly. "****A melancholic, thoughtful young man, who is handicapped by his social inaptness and his temper."**** Spot on. Exactly what I was going for. **


	9. Surprise

**Okay so I know I said this would just be an epilogue, but it sort of morphed into a full on chapter while I wrote. Truthfully it started out with the part that wouldn't fit in the last chapter and grew… and grew… until 6,000 words later and I haven't even gotten to the actual epilogue yet. So that will all be in the next and last chapter I swear. Ten is a better place to end it on then nine anyways, right?**

**I wasn't lying that the main plot concluded in the previous chapter, but there was more I could do and I felt a little interaction with other characters might be fun. I've had other stories where the cast was large and involved, but in this story it's all really been about Van and Hitomi. Everyone else just kind of pops in and out. **

**I also kind of felt that there was still more growth I could do relationship wise. If I ended things right as the main characters sorted out their feelings then it might feel anticlimactic… I don't know like another ending we all know. If I've drug this out to far for you I apologize… I just hope this will at least be entertaining.**

**Oh… and FLUFF WARNING! If anyone has an aversion to sweet and sappy goodness… too bad. It's why the rest of us have held on this long. **

Forgotten Words

**Chapter 9- Surprise**

What felt like days in the other reality turned out to only have been hours. We arrived back at the palace hand in hand shortly after sunset. Merle came crashing into me narrowly missing Hitomi. It seems she had returned from my assigned task to find Hitomi's room destroyed and the both of us missing. I don't know exactly what she feared had happened to us, but asking the neko only brought a new wave of tears and temper.

Hitomi and I ate dinner in my room, under the watchful eye of Merle. We talked, laughed, and even sat in warm companionable silence until the hours grew thin. The frequency of Hitomi's yawns grew closer together.

"You should get some rest. Tomorrow will be a very long day."

"I could stay here tonight." Hitomi's cheeks tinted pink, but her emerald eyes were direct.

I had to swallow hard before I could remember how to speak. "T-that's not the best idea. After all its bad luck."

"What ever happened to us making our own luck?" She questioned teasing me.

Placing a hand on her taunt rounded stomach I couldn't help grinning. "We've already done just that."

I walked Hitomi the short distance to her temporary room just one door down, everything was about to change again, and for once I couldn't wait. She gave me a quick yet tender kiss good night that made me rethink separate rooms tonight.

I thought falling asleep with so much on my mind would be an issue, but thankfully I was wrong. Waking up refreshed from a deep dreamless sleep, I greeted the still dark predawn day. After bathing and contemplated shearing my hair shorter, but after the memories from another life it is best if I never cut my own hair again. Getting dressed for once came with a hard decision. Should I wear an outfit with dark fitted breeches, loose shirt, embroidered vest and matching jacket popular in other countries, or should I go more traditional.

Traditional it is.

The pants are a deep blue and simply cut, they belt high on my waist and are cuffed at my ankles giving a slight puff to the bottom. A thin white undershirt wraps over one side, the long sleeves are just slightly loose and cuffed in the same dark color as the pants, the collar has minimal embroidery and though it is cut on the high side still wears comfortably enough to not be constricting. Next goes on the sleeveless over shirt which also wraps over one side but hangs nearly to my knees with slits waist high on either side giving good range of movement and showing the crisp white of the undershirt in nice contrast to the vibrant red silk. Lastly a high worn fabric belt in blue with elaborate gold designs and the dragon crest in the center.

My father might have worn something similar on his wedding day many years ago. I reach for my sword belt but hesitate. No at this moment I am just Van, and all the responsibilities I have to my country and people can wait a few more hours. I turn from the room leaving the iconic blade safely behind.

Reaching the ramparts and I find Advisor Yurizen already waiting for me. He is in discussion with an older man whose large sleeved robes almost make my attire appear modern and casual. Both men stop talking at my approach.

"My Lord." Yurizen greets me with a slight bow, though his words are formal there is a fatherly warmth in his eyes. I would like to think Balgus would have looked at me in such a way, proud. "Are you ready for this?"

The answer is of course yes, but I don't really need to say anything, he can tell from my stance and expression. Yurizen nods clasping my shoulder briefly. I am saved from having to make polite conversation as the door re-opens and this time Merle appears. She has traded her usual casual summer attire for a knee length dress of rose colored silk and a plum colored short jacket. Her vibrant hair bobs merrily as she bounces over to us, as if her feet were springs.

The sky has begun to lighten as night gives way to morning a degree more each moment that passes. There is something very pure lighting up the Neko's bright untroubled eyes. "I've always just wanted you to be happy, Lord Van." The emotion is clear now, it's Joy. She smiles warmly. "Now I know that you will be."

Merle hugs me tightly, but releases me just as quickly. She darts back over to the door holding it open, like she is doing the most important job in the world. In some ways she is.

The woman that appears next takes my breath away. The pale predawn light seems to make her glow in an almost mystical way. The Fanelian style dress she wears moves gracefully with every step. Layers of silk show in alternating colors of white and gold, elaborate blue and red embroidery trim each layer, which both actuates and hides her condition. The small capped sleeve jacket is shear, her shoulders and slender neck appear bare despite the fabric while still being technically appropriate. Instead of the traditional elaborate hair style and small headdress normally worn at weddings, short honey colored hair frames her beautiful face softly; a gold circlet adorns her brow with ribbons of the Fanelian colors cascading down her back only adding to the perfection.

Coming out of my trance I take the last few steps closing the gap between myself and this stunning creature. I hold out my hand and Hitomi takes it wordlessly. I match her slow careful pace back to the priest.

As the sky turns its array of soft colors and the city below begins to wake up we are married. The binding words the priest spoke washed over us with the rose colored sunrise. The warmth in Hitomi's luminous green eyes was all that really mattered anyways. With a tender meeting of our lips the story we started nearly two years ago finally begins, together.

Of course this peace couldn't last. Hitomi spotted a growing shape on the horizon, I'd seen them during the priest's speech on fidelity, but ignoring the approaching airship for as long as possible was my first choice. I knew they'd arrive today, but damn Allen for being early.

"It's the Crusade." I state at least enjoying the excitement lighting up her face.

"I want to go meet them when they land. Can we please Van?" Her voice had that slightly breathy quality that told me just how happy she was to see our old friends.

"Do you want to change first or meet the ship when it docks?" I hoped she'd opt to stay here and wait for their arrival, as we've been married for mere minutes and I'd like to have a few alone with my new wife before the next 'incident'. "We won't have time to do both."

She bit her bottom lip as if having a hard time with the decision. "Go."

I tried not to sigh as I turned to the Neko, who stood watching us with a mischievous smirk. "Merle-"

"One royal carriage coming right up!" She stated turning to skip away, striped tail swishing behind her.

I turned towards the door leading down and back into the palace with my arm out ready to escort Hitomi. "I need to stop by my- our room before we go." I had to correct myself, but I don't think she minded as another blush dusted her cheeks.

"Okay." Was all she said as we took the stairs side by side. Our pace was slow for she waddled a little, not I would ever say that out loud. The layers of fabric couldn't be helping matters either. It was noticeable that she was not quite used to dressing in the formal traditional style. It suited her, though whatever style of clothing she chooses to wear is up to her. The strange clothing of her homeland, lacy long skirts of Asturia, full sleeved shirts and slacks like Edzardia, or even the more casual tunics of the Fanelian style.

We reach the room and though neither of us has spoken since the roof the silence is companionable. I hold the door open letting her go in first. We only have a few minutes, so anything that married couples do behind closed doors will have to wait, unfortunately. I remain dressed formally, but as we are going through town I grab my sword and belt it on in one smooth motion.

Hitomi had wandered over to the standing mirror and begun to remove the circlet. A few of the ribbons had gotten tucked into the back of her jacket as she moved. Wordlessly I help her remove the tangle brushing my fingers across the back of her neck. The move was innocent in nature, but it brought our bodies close enough I could smell the light floral fragrance of her hair and feel the warmth of her skin.

I caught our reflection in the mirror. We both wore layers of blue, red, white and gold silk in complementing designs, for the first time we looked complete, and not only in clothing choices. The heat in her eyes took my breath away for a moment.

Before I could act on the thoughts running through my mind a loud knock sounded at the door. Damn it.

I stepped away even though it was the last thing I wanted. If we hadn't been interrupted… well I know that no one would have made it to greet the Crusade's arrival.

I took a deep breath before opening the door and glanced at Hitomi. There was a slight tremor in her hands as she placed the circlet I'd completely forgotten about on top of a nearby dresser. She noticed my attention, propping one hand on her hip in a defiant manner.

"Well? Are you gonna open the door or just stare at me all day?" In that stance she is every bit the stubborn girl I first met, while still being the strong woman I married.

"Unless you have other ideas…" I couldn't help teasing her. My smirk was very close to earning me an angry retort or at least something thrown in my direction, so I opened the door. I expected to see Merle's mischievous grin taunting us about missing our own carriage, instead I am greeted by the weathered face of Advisor Yurizen.

"I know you are occupied My Lord, but could I speak with you a moment?" He seemed as if a very grave manner was on his mind. The serious expression so different than the look he gave me not long ago on the ramparts. Did the other advisors find out that Hitomi and I eloped… early?

I glanced at Hitomi, then back at the older man not quite sure of the protocol. "Is it a private matter?"

"It is." He stated solemnly.

"You can use my… old room." Hitomi smiled softly. "I could use the time to unpack a few things."

Gratefully I gave her a brief kiss on the cheek before stepping into the hallway and following the older man the short distance to the now vacated room. As soon as the door shut and we were alone I braced myself expecting terrible news.

"Lord Van." He spoke slowly and clearly as if the words were difficult to say. "I need to apologize."

That caught me off guard. "Whatever for? You are one of my most trusted Advisors. What could you have to apologize for?"

"Please hear me out your majesty." He held up one hand begging me to let him continue. "When you left to hunt the dragon nearly two years ago I approached Balgus. I told him you would fail like your brother before you. That he was a fool to believe in a child. Even if you had succeeded in your trial, you would fail as a ruler. What did a mere boy know of the world let alone ruling a country? You would lead us to destruction like the curses warned."

He paused for only a moment but I knew his story was not complete. I nodded for him to continue.

"Balgus let me say everything the others were too scared to admit. Then he shoved me into the nearest wall. 'I should beat some respect into that thick head of yours' He told me. 'Lord Van will succeed. He will be a strong fighter and a just ruler if you fools would stop coddling him. He must learn to stand on his own feet and though it's a hard lesson you must let him.' I didn't know what to say. I tried to apologize, but he shook me once more. 'It is not my forgiveness you must beg for. One day Lord Van will prove you wrong. On that day you must apologize to him.' Today I stood where Balgus should have, and I saw the truth in his words more clearly than ever before."

Throughout his speech I could almost hear the old samurai as if he stood before me once more.

Yurizen dropped to his knees in front of me, touching his forehead to the ground in prostration.

I knelt in front of the man who I've trusted, listened to, and consulted with. Placing my hand on his shoulder I waiting the moment it took for him to look up at me before I spoke. "Have you ever betrayed me?"

"No My Lord."

"Have you ever used your position for personal gain?"

"No My Lord."

"Have you ever wished me or my loved ones harm?"

"NO! Never My Lord."

"Then I repeat. Yurizen you have nothing to apologize for." His eyes were both relieved and confused, so I continued. "It's easy for me to forget that many still see me as a child. The trials Balgus spoke of nearly destroyed me during the war, but I've found my strength and used everything within my power, even my own hands to rebuild Fanelia. Always working towards the wellbeing of my people. Today I was selfish. I wanted a little of that happiness for myself."

He opened his mouth to argue, but it was still my turn to speak and I held my hand up to command silence. "The Fanelian law of secession clearly states fifteen moons as the minimum age. I saw firsthand the brutality an untried youth must face. Other countries see our custom as barbaric, and though I see the importance of our laws and traditions I can also tell that it is time for some things to change. Together we can make a brighter future not only for my children, but also our people as a whole. Can I count on your support as I always have?"

"Yes Your Majesty." He stated earnestly as I helped him stand back up.

"Now, that matter is settled I am due to meet the Airship Crusade and the arrival of the Asturian representatives."

"I should have had more faith in you My Lord."

I paused at the door. "No Yurizan, you should have had more faith in Balgus. He was rarely wrong." With that I left to gather Hitomi and greet our friends. I almost expected her to take this time to change out of the formal clothing, but found a note on our door instead. The letters were large and simple, Hitomi's practice in writing the common language still impresses me.

_**Van,**_

_**Merle came to get us. I'll go ahead with her and meet you at the carriage. I do walk much slower then you these days, so I will see you very soon. **_

_**P.S. The next time she tells me to "Waddle Faster" I'm going to skin the Cat.**_

_**Hitomi**_

I almost laughed at her parting words. Better Merle then me. Folding the note I slid it into my pants pocket as I started to walk briskly through the halls. I came across a few people on my way out of the palace, and remaining in this attire has set the rumor mill going. At this rate the whole city will know that Hitomi and I had eloped by sunset.

I could have played it off that I had dressed up for the arriving foreign dignitaries, but Hitomi was defiantly wearing a wedding dress. She was not an easy sight to mistake, and I knew people had already reached that conclusion.

A pair of maids approached me with timid smiles "Congratulations Your Majesty."

I thanked them and continued on my way. No need to be rude, it couldn't be helped at this point. Well… if Yurizen hadn't interrupted earlier…

Stepping out into the bright morning light Hitomi was easy to spot as she stood outside the carriage talking animatedly with a guard. Nearing the pair I saw it was a female, who turned giving me a crisp salute.

"Good Morning, Your Majesty." The draconian guard's hazel eyes met mine with a merry twinkle. "I will be your escort to the landing docks."

I returned the salute quickly, as she was required to keep in position until I did. "A full escort is not needed for a quick trip such as this."

The tall woman shifted into a formal resting position shoulders back, hands clasped low behind her back, chin up, and eyes straight forward. Very respectful. "I thought that Sir, and I volunteered to be the only one. I will remain armed, but ride with the driver… unless you have other orders for me."

"No, that will be fine. You may take your station." At my direction she gave a quick bow before turning to leap up as if she were preparing to pilot a Guymelif and not just ride next to the driver. The door was already being held by a page, so I silently offered my hand to Hitomi glad to assist her into the carriage.

She took it, carefully stepping in. "That was kind of strange." Hitomi glanced at me as I took a seat next to her. "Do people always talk and act like that with you?"

"Yes and no, it's a sign of respect so you will see some people who are not used to interacting with me stand on such formalities." I signal the page to shut the door and as soon as he is finished the carriage starts to move. "In some cases though it is required, such as someone on orders like that guard."

"Oh." Hitomi turned slightly to look out the window at the passing houses and shops that lined the main street. "I don't know if I can get used to people talking like that to me."

"I still haven't" I admit and am rewarded with a warm smile, before see returns to look out at the passing city.

Her hand sits on the bench seat between us and I find looking at the town holds little of interest at this moment. The carriage rumbles on down the street as I place my hand on hers wordlessly. Hitiom's eyes may remain on the scenery, but her body shifts more towards me as her hand turns over to thread slender fingers between mine.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are today?" The words come out low and rough sounding even to my ears.

"Not with words." Hitomi turns, her eyes warm and a fresh blush on her cheeks. "Saying things out loud has always been an issue for you though."

I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped. "That much is still true." I cupped her soft cheek with my free hand. "I will have to show you instead."

The slight distance between our bodies suddenly seemed far too great. Closing the gap I pressed my lips to hers tenderly. She quickly responded letting go of my hand so that both of hers could be buried in my thick hair pulling me closer and making any escape impossible. Not that pulling away would ever cross my mind at this point. Deepening the kiss hungrily, she responded by opening her mouth slightly and twinging her tongue passionately with mine. Something between a groan and a moan escaped, and I realized it was me that made the noise.

The layers of fabric bunching between us suddenly seemed like a major hindrance. My free hand went to the small of her back, pressing Hitomi and her large stomach firmly into me. Proof that we've done this at least one other time. The hand cupping her face seemed useless as neither of us were willing to stop now, I began to trail light touches down her slender neck, collar bone, chest… breast. The breathy gasp I received heated my blood to boiling. The rest of the world had faded completely, vaguely I realized a world that was no longer moving.

Someone cleared their throat loudly. "My Lord!" The exclamation could have been my title or from the position I was suddenly caught in…. with my wife… in public.

Nothing cools passion quite like being caught. The carriage door was open and the female guard stood so her body blocked the view for anyone who might want to look at the activities taking place inside. For that I was grateful.

Hitomi's face was flushed as she tried to straighten her dress unsuccessfully.

"Later." I promised earning a look that made me want to shut the door and return to the palace right away. Instead I tried to resituate myself to hide how enthusiastic I was at our prior activities. Thank goodness for the long cut to this outfit.

Nodding to the guard who I noticed for the first time wore the full uniform and armor covering all the tattoos on her arms and any misshapen forms on her back. She looked like any other Royal Guard, who would ever know that we could possibly share a bloodline. If the draconian village was as small as mother wrote, but the pain she carried was written on her skin while mine was hidden much deeper down.

She wordlessly stepped out of the way, taking up a position and formal stance next to the carriage.

"Van!" The lilting voice of Princess Millerna rang out clearly. "I'm so happy to see you, and looking so well I might add." There was a knowing look to her lavender eyes. This may have been a bad idea.

A few steps behind her was the tall knight, dashing and gentlemanly as always, but a warm friendly look in his blue eyes. "We were surprised by the suddenness of your invitation, but glad to finally be in Fanelia for such a joyous occasion."

Well the secret wouldn't keep for long at this rate. "Allen, Millerna… is it just you and the crew?"

"Well for now." Millerna shrugged still looking every bit the princess in her ruffled blouse and slacks. 'Travel' clothes worn for comfort not formality. I suddenly felt over dressed, at least Allen was in uniform. "Dryden should be here in another day or so. You know merchants, business always comes first." Though her tone was light there was something wistful and almost proud in her voice as she spoke of the 'other' long haired man.

"My sister will not be coming though." Allen stated evenly. "There are too many strong… emotions for _him_ here in Fanelia. I thought it best if Celena stayed behind with Princess Eries."

I let out a relieved breath I hadn't known I was holding. The invitation had included the poor girl that was once one of my worst enemies, but a weight is lifted to not have another thing to worry about… like her stability.

"Did Hitomi not come to greet us?" Millerna asked looking around, a slight pout in her voice.

"I should reintroduce you since it has been a while." Stepping aside I held my hand back so I could help the girl drown from the carriage. "Millerna, Allen… My wife Hitomi Kanzaki de Fanel."

She stepped down next to me looking every bit the queen. Sandy hair shimmering in the sunlight, layers of embroidered silk flowing around her every movement, and the gentle way her free hand rested on the child growing within.

Millerna let out an excited sound and rushed forward to hug the surprised girl. "So this is what all the rushing and secrecy was about! Oh Hitomi, I am so happy for you!" The golden haired princess turned on me smacking my shoulder playfully. "Van! How could you have kept all this from us?! I know you need an heir, but couldn't you give the poor girl a chance?!"

Hitomi and I blushed, somehow Millerna's way with words always hit straight to the point.

I looked past her to the shocked knight as he stood frozen in place. It was his reaction I was most worried about. Keen blue eyes were taking in every detail of my wife. The kiss swollen lips, almost bare neck and shoulders, Fanelian dress that fitted snugly across her chest and flowed loosely over her large stomach. I didn't like the way he studied the girl he had once proposed to.

Without a word I unclasped both my sword belt and high wasted belt shoving them into the guard's hands. The crimson silk over-shirt was off my shoulders and draped over Hitomi's in one smooth movement.

Allen let out a surprised bark of laughter. "Really Van, you don't need to claim her any more then you already have."

I flushed hotly taking back both objects and re-belting them over my thin white undershirt.

"I'm happy for both of you I really am." Allen continued almost enjoying my temper and following embarrassment. "It seems I have lost the bet. How much do I owe you Princess?"

"I'll add it to your bill." Millerna teased easily.

"You knew?" Hitomi asked looking at her blond friend.

"Of course I knew." The princess grinned. "Why else would a royal wedding be so rushed? Legitimizing the baby and hiding any embarrassment. I just can't believe you didn't wait for us to arrive first."

"We got tired of everyone telling us how our wedding should be." My wife explained leaning into my side. "There didn't seem to be any point to waiting anymore."

"Well, that's great for the two of you… but what do you plan to tell all the dignitaries invited?" Allen asked smoothly. "If they get wind that you are already married and they came all the way out here for nothing, you could be in for a sticky political situation."

"They will be witnesses to Hitomi's coronation as Queen." Stating it simply "That should appease the representatives and cut out some of the unnecessary fuss."

"That might work if no one want to bring up that the invitations clearly state 'wedding'." Allen added watching my reaction.

"I am prepared to apologize for the _error_." I cross my arms over my chest knowing I look stubborn, but not willing to give in on this or any matter concerning Hitomi and our relationship.

"Well better you then me!" The princess exclaimed tossing her wavy hair over one shoulder

The Asturian blonds laughed, and the knight patted my shoulder in a brotherly manner I wasn't expecting. "We've missed you two. Life is always more interesting when you're around."

Millerna nodded in agreement. "Well, are we going to stand here all day? I have some medical questions I want to ask Hitomi." A mischievous smirk crossed her pretty face. "I could ask on the way to the palace unless the two of you need the privacy. Allen and I would hate to impose on the personal moments between a man and his wife."

My ears burned, and part of me wanted to tell them to get to the palace on their own… only part.

"Oh stop it." Hitomi threw her hands up. "I know it's all in good fun, but really guys mind your own business and get your butts in that carriage."

"The pregnant woman told us to, so we better comply." Allen tried to hide his grin but failed.

"Hell hath no fury." Millerna agreed solemnly.

They have no idea, or they wouldn't be joking about it. I see the fire light in Hitomi's eyes and know it's up to me to save them this time. Pulling the short haired girl towards me I place a kiss on her bow with a smile. "You first."

She just nods and lets me help her back into the carriage, my shirt still draped over her frame. I turn to the princess next.

"Thank you Van." Millerna smiles at me, as I help her up the slight step.

"Next time you want to face off against Hitomi, you are completely on your own." The warning held no heat, just truth.

"After you, Your majesty." Allen gave me a slight bow. Shrugging I took my seat next to Hitomi who was trying to pretend she wasn't as uncomfortable as I knew she was, her back often hurt these days. Once Allen was seated across from me the door was closed and the carriage began to move once more, but this time with twice the occupants, it felt almost claustrophobic.

"So, Hitomi how far along are you?" I'm not sure who was asking Princess Millerna or Doctor Millerna the aspiring healer.

"Thirty Seven Weeks." Hitomi answered quickly.

"I knew it!" Millerna grinned. "I thought it looked like the baby had already dropped."

"Dropped?" I questioned, not liking the sound of the phrase.

Doctor mode took over as the other woman explained. "The baby normally moves down in to a position in the pelvis preparing for birth." She made a downward movement with her hands. "Honestly you should be preparing to announce the birth of your heir not a coronation."

That shocked me, and I knew my face had paled as I looked to my wife for conformation.

Hitomi patted my knee. "I know you thought we had more time."

"Almost another month." My mouth feels very dry all the sudden.

"It's completely normal for babies to come between the thirty eighth and forty second weeks." Hitomi states evenly while Millerna nods along.

"Basically a month long window two weeks before or two weeks after the due date. 'Due date' is more of an educated guess since babies come when they're ready." The physician in the carriage added.

I couldn't help myself I looked at Allen maybe hoping somehow he could say something to help me out here, at the very least another male to understand the fear I suddenly felt. The knight just shrugged and though he made the simple movement look elegant it didn't help me one bit.

He sighed, possibly deciding to change the subject for my sanity after all. "Have you discussed names yet?"

Nope. Dig that hole a little deeper for me. He saw my glare but ignored it. Jerk.

Hitomi took my hand in hers and I could feel a slight tremble in it that said without words that she too was nervous about how quickly this all was happening. I felt a lot better, giving her hand a little squeeze I hoped it conveyed how grateful I was to have her by my side.

"I've been thinking about a name, but I don't know if you'll like it Van." Her voice was soft but there was a strength to it that I loved.

"What is it?"

"Well if his first name is in honor of someone and his middle name is from my world it would mean a lot to me." I nodded for her to continue and could tell for the relieved breath she took my wife had been thinking about this a lot. "Folken Shou de Fanel."

"Folken Shou." I repeated slowly. It felt… right. "What does Shou mean?"

"It's a fairly common boy's name and translated it means 'to soar'." As she spoke I could almost see a smiling child reaching towards the wide blue sky.

"I love it." As soon as I said the words I knew it was the perfect choice, not only in name for our son but in listening and excepting Hitomi's ideas. The way her face lit up as she leaned into my side made everything else melt away.

"What a perfect name." Millerna smiled at us, despite the limited space inside the carriage I had almost forgotten her and Allen where riding with us. A perplexed look crossed her face and flowed easily out of her mouth in the form of an innocent question. "Do you have a girl's name chosen already?"

"No, we don't need one." I answer only adding to her confusion.

"Are you just sure of yourself Van or did Hitomi already see that it's a boy?" Allen who had been silently watching, spoke up.

Hitomi and I shared a private wordless agreement before she turned to the knight smiling. "Something like that."

On that note the carriage pulled to a stop in front of the palace. Neither of the visiting Asturians have visited since the end of the war and you could see the surprise on their faces.

"It's been less than two years how is rebuilding complete already?" Millerna asked a note of wonder in her voice. "There are still parts of Palas with damage from the Zaibach attacks and we weren't hit nearly as bad as you were."

"Just a lot of hard work and long days." I state simply. Fanelia received an out pouring of support from allied countries after the war. I'd be naive to think they would have helped at all if I wasn't so well known for piloting the Escaflowne and being instrumental in ending the war, but there was always something that made me _politely_ turn down the most generous offers. Pride maybe, also I'd rather use my own hands then become indebted to a country who then feels they have a hold over us for any reason.

I must have made it clear that I didn't want to speak on the subject farther as no one tried to keep the conversation going. We filed out of the carriage silently grateful for the bright summer day to chase away any lingering shadows.

Millerna stretched her arms over her head a moment before turning to her companion. "Allen can you send a message back home informing them that we will be extending our stay in Fanelia for a few more weeks?"

"Yes Princess." He answered simply, like a well-trained knight should. Despite his calm words there was something unreadable in Allen's clear blue eyes that didn't sit well with me.

"Why are you staying longer?" Hitomi asked eyeing the other girl curiously.

"Why do you think silly?!" The princess exclaimed gesturing to my wife's expanded waistline. "I can't very well leave when my patients need me here. I have plenty of experience as a midwife, after all it is the only branch of medicine deemed 'suitable' for a woman. Anyways Hitomi even if I didn't insist on being your doctor I would be staying as your friend."

"Oh Millerna!" Hitomi hugged the other girl tightly. "I've missed you too."

It was hard to tell if the women were laughing, smiling, or crying… all three. Women…

"Oh stop that." The blond smiled pulling away slightly. "I'd like to do a full examination, but it will require privacy where will you be most comfortable?"

"My- our room." Hitomi blushed at having to use the same correction I had to say earlier. She glanced at me. "I'll probably need help getting out of all these layers."

"I know I'm not your first choice, but my assistance will just have to do for now." Millerna teased taking the other girl's arm.

"I'd like a word with Van for a moment if that is alright with you Hitomi." Allen directed the statement to my wife with a small smile, but she was looking at me not him.

"It's fine." I answer simply. "Go with Millerna I'll see you soon."

"Okay." She nods, before letting go of the blond Hitomi grabs the front of my shirt planting a quick kiss on my surprised lips. With a slight blush and a playful grin she takes her friend's hand leading her away and into the palace. I could hear Millerna's lecturing, but the words were growing farther away and harder to make out.

I come back to myself and the feeling of the knight's eyes weighing me critically. What was there for me to say? Sorry she picked me… well that would be a lie.

He must have seen the gears turning in my mind as Allen held up one gloved hand. "You don't have to say anything only let me speak." I nodded for him to continue. "I should be perfectly clear with you Van, I am not jealous. I am happy Hitomi returned to you."

I couldn't help interrupting. "You have to feel something after all you proposed, and now she's married to me."

"You're right I do feel something, though it's not quite what you think." Allen paused checking to see if I'd let him finish this time. "When we first started traveling together her infatuation was merely flattering, but Hitomi was little more than a girl. I'll never know if it was her growing feelings for you or something else that sparked my possessive side late on. After she left the first time I realized I did love Hitomi, but not in a romantic way. I saw my little sister in her, and in some ways it's more than that now. Hitomi is not Celena, but somehow I've gone from having no family to having two little sisters."

There was a hard edge to the knight's voice that should have set of warning bells, but didn't. He continued. "As much as I like and respect you Van there are somethings I can't forgive and your role in Hitomi's condition is one of them."

Unlike with Dilandau what felt like a lifetime ago, I don't sense the strike until it's too late. With a sudden explosion of pain, black spots swim across my vision. Allen's fist makes solid contact with the left side of my face.

**To Be Continued…**

**A/N- Okay I'm for real this time. The next post will be the epilogue and then that's it. This chapter took a little longer to write then intended and kind of just kept growing. I had a lot of fun with it if you can't tell. **

**Yea, the end of the first chapter Hitomi hits Van, and the end of the last full chapter its Allen's turn. I hope you all liked the interaction between the Asturians. I've left Millerna a princess in this story as her father is still holding on and not important to this time line. That means Hitomi will be a Queen before her. Oh and if anyone is confused as to why Allen punched Van. Even though they are married no when Van knocked up 'his little sister' they most certainly were not. If Van hadn't 'taken responsibility' Allen would have done a lot worse then hit him… or at least tried to. Who else wants to see that scene? Just me? **

**As much as I love my friend who used to beta for me… not having any help with the edits is unappealing. The last few chapters have all been self-edited and I'm not 100% happy with the end result. The problem is it took me years to find someone I trusted enough to let into my twisted obsessed mind, and looking for a new beta feels like cheating. It makes me feel dirty. **

**Last thing I promis I know I've told you all I cosplay as Varie… we I did. I still could, but the long wig caused me so much stress I've put aside that costume for the time being. Instead I have started cosplaying a character I've always wanted to but pushed the thought aside since I am VERY cannon and well not built like a 15year old boy. Yes you've got it right I now cosplay as Van! I was nervous about it but there was so much support and love that I had a blast. Being the person I am though I make it clear I am Rule # 63 Van Fanel. (Rule # 63- For any given male character, there is a female version of that character.) That's right I may now be Van but I will always be the Queen of Fanelia!**


	10. The Last Page

**This starts two weeks after the end of the last chapter. Then it jumps to three months later. I hope it isn't too confusing. I tried really hard to have details without becoming graphic. Not everyone is good with bodily functions and medical issues so I apologize if anyone gets squeamish. Also in the beginning I let Van ramble… I wonder where he gets it.**

**Epilogue- The Last Page**

**25th Orange Moon**

Today was the second anniversary of the burning of Fanelia. I never thought there would be a day in my lifetime where I was more terrified, I was wrong. Yesterday which turns out to be another anniversary, but that it's been two years since a strange girl saved me from being impaled by a dragon. Hitomi and I decided to celebrate that day quietly together. After dealing with a castle bursting at the seams with nosy diplomats the calm was a welcome change.

I should start from the beginning… but that would take far too long. Instead I will say that Hitomi's coronation was simple yet elegant. She wore another Fanelian style dress, so it says a lot about my choice to send Merle to hire that specific seamstress. Honestly the quality and speed impressed even me. Turns out the moment word of Hitomi's arrival and condition started circulating this particular seamstress started working, and she had half a wardrobe completed before Merle ever stepped foot into her shop. Simple to say I bought everything she had made for my wife and am keeping her on retainer, some craftsmen are just that good.

There was some political grumbling, but that was bound to happen. The only thing that diplomats enjoy more than complaining is intrigue. We sure gave them a lot to talk about. Hitomi shows up a year and a half after the war ends noticeably pregnant. In just over two months we are married and she becomes the queen of Fanelia. It's a good thing I don't give a crap what they think.

Fanelia will always be tiny and backwards in their eyes, so what does it matter if the royal family is a bit unorthodox… wouldn't be the first time.

It was a relief when the guests began to leave, soon the only ones left were Allen and Millerna. Well not just them, somewhere in town an Inn is making really good money off the crew of the crusade. They were offered rooms in the palace, but turned me down. "It too stuffy for us your Majesty." Gadess told me in his gritty yet endearing way. "We're just simple sailors and ruffians."

I don't know if I could ever repay the kindness I was shown by them at my lowest, but something tells me to try would insult them.

Exhaustion makes my mind wander.

Hitomi and I had a quite dinner in our rooms… since her back had begun bothering her worse than ever. She put on a strong face, saying it wasn't anything to bother the visiting princess over. We turned in early, and though I tried to rub the pain away nothing seemed to help, like something was pressing on her spine.

I awoke in the middle of the night to find the bed next to me empty and damp. Hitomi paced in front of the windows slowly. Before I could ask her what was wrong she inhaled sharply bending almost double in pain.

I was by her side an instant. "What is it Hitomi?"

After a few long moments she exhaled opening her eyes which had been clenched tightly shut. "Van I think he's coming." Her voice was soft through the strain. "Get Millerna."

"Lay down and I'll wake her." I insisted trying to lead her back to bed.

"It's wet." She tried to hide her embarrassment by not meeting my eyes.

"Then use my side." Without warning I swept her into my arms taking fast strides back to the large bed, laying her down just in time for the pain to tense her from head to toe. "I'll be right back."

I dashed from the room not caring the amount of noise I was making as the door slammed open breaking the still night. Millerna was staying in Hitomi's old room and though the closeness made me a little uncomfortable at first, I was grateful for the proximity now. Knowing better than to enter a lady's room unannounced I started pounding on the solid wood with the side of my fist.

The door gave way sharply to reveal a startled princess, her long hair plaited in a braid hanging over one shoulder. Robe thrown on over her night dress hastily. "Is it Hitomi?"

There I stood in the middle of the night wearing nothing more than dark sleep pants and my heart pounding in my throat. What a stupid question. Of Course it was Hitomi.

"How far apart are the contractions?" She asked going into doctor mode easily.

"Less than ten miets."

Her face registered shock and slight outrage. "Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

I shot her a sharp look before turning wordlessly to go back to my room, and my wife who needed me right now more than ever.

A door down the hall opened and Allen stepped out looking unruffled in his crisp white shirt and black pants. "What's going on?"

"Hitomi's gone into labor." Millerna answered smoothly.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" The knight asked concern evident in his voice.

She answered quickly with a steel edge to her voice. "Keep Van from climbing the walls."

"Stay out here with me Van." In a few quick smooth steps Allen placed himself in front of me with purpose. "Sorry my friend, but this isn't a place for men."

"You can't stop me." I growled trying to step around the taller man who now stood directly between me and Hitomi.

"I will restrain you if I have to." Allen warned.

"Try and I won't hold back this time." The dark threat hung between us heavily.

"Stop it." Hitomi's spoke from the doorway, her tone leaving no chance for argument.

I shoved past Allen the instant I heard her voice, she swayed on her feet and I took her weight steadying my wife easily.

"I want Van with me." It was a statement that left no room for debate but I knew though the others would fight it... this decision was already made, Hitomi would win.

"It's not appropriate." Millerna argued quickly.

"Do you think I care?" Hitomi asked her voice coming out strong and sure. "I want my husband by my side and if you've got a problem with it then-"

"Okay! Enough threats already. We are in for a long night and I need you to lay down and relax." The blond threw up her hand in defeat quicker then I expected. This was a situation she wasn't comfortable with, but her patient's wellbeing came first. "If having him helps, then so be it."

"Thank you Millerna."

"Get her back into bed." She ordered me before turning on Allen "Find a maid I need plenty of towels and hot water."

With medical bag in hand the princess took charge storming into the room with ultimate authority. Some people are born to lead, others are born to fight, but Millerna was born to this calling where she had to do both crafts at the same time. With a practiced hand she pulled the damp sheets from the bed sniffing them in the process.

"What are you doing?"

"It smells sweet so it means her water broke. It's not often a rush of water like people tend to exaggerate; more of a trickle, it can be confused with other body functions unless you know what to look for. The baby is well on the way." "Have you been feeling any unusual pressure before the pains started? If so, for how long?"

"In my back. It felt like a tightness or squeezing, but my back always hurts these days." Hitomi looked almost shy about having missed the signs of early labor, then again so did I. "Late afternoon it really started"

"Back labor, it's really easy to mistake for normal pains until either the pain shifts or intensifies. I need to get you comfortable and do an exam, but I'd have to say you'll meet this baby soon. " Millerna shook open a large piece of waxed paper placed it on the bed and smoothed a clean sheet over it. "There now we shouldn't ruin the mattress. Child birth is a very messy business, not for the faint of heart."

Gently I helped Hitomi settle onto the bed which crinkled slightly with each movement. Suddenly I felt out of place. My father and his father before him would have never dreamt of intruding on this time between women. "Are you sure you want me here?"

"Don't be stupid Van." Another wave of pain swept through her, and Hitomi had to wait for it to pass before she could speak again. "I've been through battles with you now it's your turn to support me during my fight."

"Well when you put it like that." Reassured by her words I took her hand tenderly. There was only one question left to ask. "Is this normal on your world?"

"Pretty common really, just don't faint." She warned "It happens to even the toughest guys."

The time seemed to move incredibly slow after that. The contractions moved closer together and at greater intensity as Millerna warned they would. I completely lost the feeling in my hand as Hitomi squeezed it tightly with each new wave of pain, but knew she was only sharing a fraction of what she felt. My determined girl never screamed even when Millerna assured her that is was normal.

I wasn't scared… I was terrified, and felt entirely useless. All I could do was murmur soft words, brush sweat dampened hair from Hitomi's face, and let her try to break my fingers.

Through everything Millerna remained calm and sure. The sun rose and the day started while Hitomi labored. Then the most amazing thing happened. My son was born.

Red, wrinkled, and screaming the infant seemed so incredibly delicate as the doctor cleaned and checked him over. The moment he was placed against Hitomi's skin he quieted. Something akin to peace smoothed his furrowed features. I couldn't take my eyes off this tiny perfect being.

"Ten fingers, Ten toes." Millerna spoke lovingly, I'd completely forgotten her presence. "He seems to be of average weight and size. I'll record everything… normally it is done in the royal family's official blood line records."

"But ours was lost in the fire." I finish for her. "I'll have a new one made, but most of our records were destroyed in the attack."

"Your mother's diary might have details about you and Folken." Hitomi spoke softly as she gently ran her fingers through our son's thick dark hair. She was exhausted and exhilarated at the same time.

"She wrote about some, but not all the information." I shook my head. "That is all well enough; this little one will be the first full entry." Hitomi was right though. The diary was one of the few books with any information about my family that was spared the fate of becoming ash like most of the other records. Folken may have been trying to hide the prophecy from me even in this reality, but what he really did was preserve the fateful words.

"Official name for the records is the same as before?"

I nod and Hitomi smiles tiredly.

"Folken Shou de Fanel born 0945, 25th Orange Moon." Millerna states clearly while jotting down notes in her medical journal.

My wife smiled asking the words that made my heart pound faster. "Van, would you like to hold your son?"

"More than anything."

So here I sit watching the tiny chest rise and fall with each breath. The soft warmth that permeates his very being is quite mesmerizing. It's truly unbelievable that I helped create something so perfect. His hair is dark and wild like mine, and that can change, babies transformation so much in such a short amount of time… or so I've been told. My son takes after Hitomi quite a bit in the turn of his small nose, the shape of his ears, even the curve of his mouth. I can't seem to get enough of just studying his sleeping face.

Hitomi rests, exhausted, and I don't think I could love her any more than I do in this moment, and every moment that follows that love will continue to grow. We've had a long hard road to get to where we are today, but I wouldn't change a thing. It's made us who we are and brought a new Fanel into our lives.

A soft knock sounds at the door and I'm tore between trying to get up without waking the baby in my arms or hoping whoever it is will stop knocking and just leave. The decision is made for me as the door opens just enough to show Allen who glances between me and the two sleeping occupants of the room.

"Can I come in?" He asks softly unsure if I'm willing to let any visitors intrude on this peaceful time.

"Sure." What else can I say? The last words between us were not quite friendly, and my jaw still aches when I think about his reaction the last time we were alone. The bruise wasn't much fun and neither was having to explain it to Every. Single. Person. I saw for the next several days.

I know Allen to be a fair man and I doubt he would have hit me again, but I'd rather not have tested that theory, so I stayed clear of the knight unless we were in a group setting. Witnesses and all that. I was able to stay on my feet the last time his fist connected with my face, I don't know if I'd be as lucky a second time.

"I didn't come to fight Van." He spoke in a soft low tone as he approached the chair where I sat by the window.

"I'd hope not. It's not very sporting to hit a man unable to defend himself." My words are harsh but my tone remains slightly joking, anything to keep away the tension between the two of us right now.

"In my defense you had that one coming, anyways it's not for your sake but the baby's" There was a teasing note to his voice in response.

"Please sit." I directed the taller man to the empty chair placed across from me.

"How are they doing?" Allen asked folding himself into the wing-backed chair with effortless grace.

"Good." I replied simply looking down at the child who in his sleep gripped my finger tightly, his full hand barely making it all the way around the single digit.

"How are you doing?" The knight's eyes studied me carefully.

I sighed knowing whatever rivalry there was between us was only on the surface. Deep down Allen cared for me as a close friend and that was mostly why he pushed me the way he does. I honestly have very few people I can truly be myself around. Hitomi, Merle, and somehow along the way Allen. Everyone else sees me a King first and Van second, but not these three.

"Terrified."

He didn't laugh, but his smile grew. "You are a good man Van, you will be a good father. Don't doubt yourself." I must have looked surprised at the complement. "Don't look so shocked. I may not be a good father myself, but I've been around you long enough to know that you'd walk through fire and fight an army of enemies for that boy in your arms right now."

He spoke truthfully and so Allen deserved the same honesty from me. "You weren't given the chance to be a father."

"Whether that is true or not we'll never know, but if my father was any indication then Chid was better off without me." He looked away not meeting my gaze directly, very unlike the knight.

"You can't carry the sins of your father and more then I could carry those of my brother." I shook my head slowly, Allen tends to bury everything so deep down that it eats at him slowly like water carving its way through stone. "The weight of our own choices are great enough without unnecessarily adding to them."

"Spoken like a man who has tried." He responds evenly

"You know I have." Though I'm normally not much for sharing when it comes to emotional speeches Allen needed to be reminded of our shared past. "Pain, anger, and regret are emotions I remember well. It nearly destroyed me in the process, if it weren't for Hitomi I'd never have made it through the war. She saved more than my life. That girl saved my soul. It would be a very dark world without her."

"You sound like you'd know from experience." The knight studied me carefully.

"It doesn't matter." The recent experience in an alternate world without Hitomi was not something I think I'd ever want to share with anyone. It was time to change the subject. "I did need to talk to you about another matter."

"Hm…" Was all Allen said, so I chose to just blurt it out.

"Hitomi and I have agreed you are the only logical choice for godfather."

Eyes wide and shocked Allen looked some how younger, more at ease. "Are you asking me to be... Godfather to the heir of the Fanelian Crown?"

"Yes."

He thought for a moment before nodding, a serene smile gracing his face. "I'd be honored to be a part of little Folken's life."

"Then you should know that family is allowed to call him Shou." Hitomi and I had discussed it at length that though his formal name is a tribute to my brother his life should be all his own.

"Shou." He spoke the unusual name slowly testing it out. "A fitting name for your son."

As Allen gazed softly as the sleeping infant my eyes sought my wife. Though Hitomi appeared to be asleep a small smile was easy to detect. I'd have to bet anything that she'd been awake for the whole exchange. How very like her to give me the chance to clear the air and set things right between Allen and I.

**Black 12****th**** Moon**

Yet another anniversary is here to remind me of the bittersweet moments that comprise my life. Two years ago today I set Escaflowne to slumber and sent Hitomi home, fulfilling the promises made by myself and Bulgus on the fateful day of my coronation. Now in keeping with tradition I clean the Fanel Family memorial. This time I am not alone. My wife and the queen of Fanelia is at my side though she has her arms too full carrying our son to physical participate. Hitomi talks to Shou and me as I scrub and tidy. It makes the time pass quicker, I am as always glad to just have her by my side.

Shou is three months old and it is so astonishing how much a being can grow and change. He holds his head up on his own and is already trying to sit up. Far too soon he will be cutting teeth, learning to walk and talk… time moves so fast when you are constantly watching another develop. I might have to stop wearing the pendent for a while, as the little one's grip has nearly broken the chain already. It's shiny and pretty, Shou seems almost attracted to the dancing pink stone. I secretly hope it is just the habit of babies to grab jewelry and not the power hidden within that draws him.

"Are you ready?" Hitomi asks, her voice soft and understanding.

"Yes, I think that its time." I nod to her solemnly. My wife steps up next to me, wordlessly shifting our son to her hip and handing me her old teal duffle bag. The bag which she offered for this purpose strains slightly at the rectangular shape of its contents. Opening the bag I remove the wooden box carried within. It is solid and sturdy, simply carved with the royal crest and nothing else. The lid lifts silently and inside are treasures that will one day help someone when they need it the most.

I didn't know how much I needed to go find Hitomi when I opened Mother's aged diary. I had thought that after everything I had seen and done in my short life that I was 'a man', but it turns out I still had much growing up to do. Learning more of the past helped shape my future and for that I am grateful. Hitomi and I finished reading the book together. There are bright amazing stories I want to etch on my memory and read until the pages fall apart, but then the darkness sets in. Father dies, leaving a three year old and a thirteen year old with a broken mother and a kingdom set in grief.

No matter the happy face mother wore around her sons she no longer desired to live without Father and her only goal was to help Folken ascend the throne and fulfill the prophecy. Her tormented words ended before his failure, Folken must have hidden the book the night he set out to hunt a dragon. I remember the last passage written.

_**I am sorry my sons for how I have failed you. Love can endure so much, but soon I know I must selfishly find peace. **_

_**Folken my intelligent boy… no almost a man. Protect Van for me when I can't. He is far too sweet and gentle for this dark world and it will destroy him piece by piece. Change the world for him if you must. I know that is within your power.**_

_**Destiny is not for the faint of heart. **_

_**Van I'm sorry. I hope one day you will find a life of joy and love. Know that even though I am gone, my love for you will never fade. I will watch over you for all your days, and find peace only when you do.**_

_**Varie Koraki de Fanel**_

Did Folken know she planned to commit suicide? Did that knowledge pause his hand and open himself up for weakness in a time that only decisive action will work? Could something or someone have stalled this series of unfortunate events or was it meant to be?

Regardless, I have become the man I am today in part of these tragic memories. The sacrifice and selfishness that often seem to walk hand in hand.

Along with mothers words we have included Hitomi's journal. The blue bound book's spine suffered some damage from my tantrum but the words still hold true. The girl from the mystic moon added one last entry.

_**This is my life and these are my words. Never forget that strength is not given it is earned. Compassion breeds care and understanding. Believe in yourself, because if you don't how can you believe in others.**_

_**My life was forever changed one summer night when I was only fifteen, and though I saw so much pain, death, and destruction… I also saw hope, determination, and love.**_

_**If I could go back and live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I am the person… the woman I am today because of how my life was effected by a boy and a dragon. I don't know how much I believe in prophesy, but I can share what I do believe. Destiny is what we make for ourselves through action, reaction, and understanding.**_

_**So go make your own destiny.**_

_**Hitomi Kanzaki de Fanel**_

Included with the two books is Folken's feather just as he has wished for it to be. I have decided the toy though a good symbol for a child would not fit as a representation of me and the path I chose to walk. I did not write down my thoughts like Hitomi and Mother. I have left am inpresion on this world that Folken could have never dreamed of, and though I refuse to let his memory fade I will never walk in his footsteps.

With all the love and support Hitomi and I have to give we pray that his namesake will have the happy fully life he never had the chance to.

Taking a crisply folded parchment from my pocket I place it on top of the other donations. Closing the lid, then I replace the box into the brightly colored fabric. The whole package fits into the hollow where I first found the objects that would end up changing my life, this time for the better. Once the marble was replaced no one would ever know the secrets and the stories hidden beneath. Maybe one day my children or grandchildren would need guidance, then and only then would it deserve to be found.

I began gathering the cleaning gear my traditional tasks done with the added goal of returning the words to memory where they belong.

Hitomi stepped closer to me. "Are you ready to go home?"

The small child in her arms chirped excitedly, his cubby little arms reaching. Giving into his wishes I took the boy in my arms. Looking between his round face and my wife I felt a deep contentment settle throught out me very being.

"Yes, Let's go home."

Hitomi has never asked what I wrote in that letter to the next person fortunate enough to find the written accounts of the two most important women in my life. I'm sure she never will, but I will never forget those words as long as I live.

_**If you have found these words let me impart a small introduction. Within these pages you will find a great many things. Prophesies of destruction. Visions of death. Dreams of hope. Choices made that effect more than just two lives. And the greatest love story of all time, the one between a mother and her child. **_

_**These pages tell the story of many lives touched by one destiny. Who is to say that fate is predetermined, but in my experience there are a million tiny factors that can affect everything, and it is the person's 'will' that determines their fortune. **_

_**For all the darkness and pain in this world there is always a glimmer of hope. Hitomi has always been my light. I pray you are so lucky as to find your very own spark to guide you through the shadows.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Van Salazar de Fanel, 32**__**nd**__** King of Fanlia**_

**The END**

**AN- Thank you so much for reading to the end! It means the world to me! This story may be done, but I have many more ideas heading your way. I have two new stories mapped out, an M-rated Oneshot in the works… and chapter 19 of ****Last Person on Earth**** around here somewhere.**

**Please think about revewing. It means so much to me.**

If you think about it an average rule of a king in medieval times couldn't have been more the 20-25 years. Shorter life expectancy, intrigue, wars, so on (unless you factor France into the equation and then it's much… much shorter. Like the average drops to 10 on the high side.) King Goau was 48 when he died. Say he was in his early twenties when he took the throne then 25 years was about the length of his rule. 25 times 32 different rulers… The Fanels or the line they came from has been ruling for 800 years. Not too shabby. Another author put Van as the 74th king in their story that put them on the throne for more than 1850 years (If you use my average). In that era it seemed too long for me. Fanelia is a small rural country that relies mainly on agriculture. I'd think that before the Fanels took office that bit of fertile land would have changed hands a lot. It also makes a lot of sense that King Goau was at war when he met Varie defending his country from other powers. So the peaceful rule the country was enjoying before Zaibach attacked was actually the rare.

Oh and though it's not going to be in any actually story Van will retire from ruling at forty five so his twenty eight year old son Folken Shou de Fanel can take the throne with him as an advisor. Van rules for thirty years but lives for more than eighty years with the 'girl' from the mystic moon at his side until the very end...


End file.
